Unseen Child

Silence filled the room as she stood and walked to the doublewide whiteboard in front of the thirty seasoned and new employees. Not a silence of fear—but of respect. Even the newest interns could make out this distinction in the silence filling the room. No phones were on the tables, no whispers were shared, and no eyes were astray from Angie’s presence.

           When Angie arrived at the whiteboard, her warm, soft smiled came across her face. And almost in unison, everyone in the room smiled back at her. Smiles of instant appreciation and readiness for whatever Angie had to say.

           “Thank you everyone for being here today. The orders of matching baby and mother slippers increased by 80% over the past week. Easily our most in demand product right now. So, we are going to put production of all other slipper types on hold. To meet the Christmas demand, we will be making the mother–baby matching slippers exclusively until further notice. We should have enough stock of other products to hold us over until the new year.”

Angie talked smoothly and authoritatively as she pointed to her notes on the whiteboard. Each person at the table had a specific and equally important job listed on the whiteboard. Questions were asked, notes were taken, and collaborations were started amongst the employees at the meeting. No one ever talked about it, but everyone knew—any meeting led by Angie always yielded better results and fewer disagreements. Angie needed to get this last meeting in before leaving in the morning.

           Sitting on the airplane with three hours left in the flight, Angie wished she could crack the code for managing small children like she had found for managing her small business of selling knit slippers. As well as she knew her children, they still had a knack of constantly changing and surprising her with a behavior completely foreign from the day before. Thankfully she had her husband there to help. Despite the crying, spilt cheerios, and airplane seat diaper changes, her spirits were up because of the holiday. It had been almost a year since all her family was last together.  

           Of course Tom would be there with his wife and four kids. Being the oldest he always had a way of commanding the room. Similar to how Angie commanded the room in her business. Sam with his wife and four kids were always a joy to see. Their kids were younger like Angie’s. And Molly was coming as well. Those were the three oldest children. Angie and her brother Dean had made late appearances to the family—at not fault of their own. Their parents had just gotten a second wind of romance as the family friends would say. There was an eighteen year age difference between the oldest, Tom, and the youngest, Angie. But for Angie and her siblings, this had always been the norm. It was just life, and they had a system that worked.    

           Since the flight got in late, Angie and her family went right to bed after her father picked them up. With Thanksgiving being the next day, there would be plenty of time to visit with everyone.

           “Hannah! Careful!”

           “Tom, come here please.”

           “Where are my glasses? I want to read you some of this article I saw last week.”

           “Angie, Molly, can you help me in the kitchen?”

           “Hold on, I’m finishing the baby’s diaper change.”

           “Dad, mom! Sally pushed me down!”

           It was pure chaos. And everyone in the house new it. But that is just how family is, and they loved it. Tom, Sam, and their dad sat in the living room on their phones talking about the latest sports and business news. The sisters-in-law helped with children and cooking, while occasionally floating into the sports conversation. Angie’s husband floated from the sports talk to the kitchen, searching for where he was most needed. And Molly, Dean, and Angie were in the kitchen helping their mother. Just as it had been every year for as long as Angie could remember. No one complained. It was just their system, and it worked.

           Once everyone sat down for dinner, there was almost exclusively adults at the main table. The children were finally getting old enough to sit at their own table without help. Only the youngest were sitting with their parent’s.

           After grace was offered, the scenario played just as it always had.

           “Sam, how is work this year?” Tom asked.

           “Just great. It was a good year with a promotion. I’m finally the head technical sports director.”

           “And I’m so excited. Just wait, I have so many questions for you, Tom said.

“Well, I’m ready to answer them. And you Tom?

“I’ve cut about fifteen new movie trailers this year with my team,” Tom said. Angie new they would get more into it later, after the rounds were made.

           “And Molly. How are you?” Tom said.

           “Great. The hospitals always have something interesting going on, even on the slow days.”

           “You’ll have to tell us some of those crazy stories you always seem to have a plethora of,” Same said.

           “Of course—” Molly said. Angie could tell she would have dished one out, but Tom quickly moved before noticing.

           “And Dean, how’s school going?” Dean nodded his head slowly with a smile. He always loved throwing in some theatrics with his answers.

           “Great. I just don’t know if I’ll ever get enough of school. There is always something else we can learn, you know?”

           “Very true. If I could learn to make as much money as you out of an education, then I would have gone that route too.” Everyone chuckled. Angie laughed too, but she felt very differently. Being graded instead of simply critiqued for improvement never sounded fun even it was paying the bills. Her small slipper business brought her much more joy and relaxation.

           “And you Angie? How is that small business going?” Angie smiled that same smile she’d given her employees just days before.

           “So good. We have tons of orders in for the Holiday season, as usual. So a stressful but exciting time.”

           “Who knew the slipper business would be such a hit?!” Tom said with a smile—and he was sincere too.

           “Seriously,” Angie said. “In fact—” The start of her sentence was so faint, barely she’d even heard it, let alone her family. Angie had thought about bringing up some of their new plans for the coming year, but quickly changed her mind. It wasn’t even a conscious decision—it just happened naturally. Like how some people make a cup of coffee in the morning without even thinking or check their phones or say their prayers. Just an autopilot reaction requiring no thought at all.

The same pattern continued on with the in-laws at the table until everyone had been accounted for once. And though it may have felt strangely calculated, every question about everyone’s life was genuine.

           From there, the conversation went into the newest information on self-automated cars, or sports, or the stock market, or (heaven forbid) politics. All the big ticket topics for Angie’s family—or really just the big ticket topics for Tom, Sam, and their father. Angie even made several glances at the kid’s table where her oldest two children sat, wishing she could be there talking about all the wonderful, care-free subjects of a child’s life. But no, she was finally an adult and allowed at the adult table, but it felt so foreign to her still.

           Her whole life Angie had sat at the kids table, or at a booth in the adjacent room, or on a chair as close to the table as she could get, while Tom, Sam, and Molly all got to sit at the adult table. At last she had Dean to keep her company since he carried the same fate in family seating arrangements as she. The babies, as they were called. I guess an unknown effect of being so much younger than their siblings was that Angie and Dean had become lifelong babies so to speak. Not in nature, but in reference. The unseen danger though was that if you call someone a nickname long enough, you better be careful what that name is, or they might become it.

           Days earlier Angie had commanded a room of employees and colleagues younger and older than her. She had built a small business well-known within her community and slowly reaching other big cities in her state. She did so well that her husband was able to work less to be with the kids more if he wanted. And Angie was reaching a point in her career that she too could delegate if necessary to be home with her family. It was a dream come true for them. But if her colleagues could see her now, they wouldn’t even know who she was. A quiet girl sitting at the end of the table, making little to no conversation and listening to everyone around her without adding any of her own opinions. But that was Angie—at least when she went to her childhood home.

           Tom and Sam and her parents meant no harm. Honestly, they didn’t even notice what was going on. Dean and Angie did. But it had been like this for so long, it didn’t seem to bother them—not to the point of bringing it up.

           Once again Angie had reverted back to her childhood self, as she always did when the entire family came home for holidays. Is it childish? Maybe to some. But Angie doesn’t even recognize what she is doing, and neither does anyone else in her family. It causes no harm to anyone. It is simply a product of how she grew up. A childhood that didn’t affect her ability to date and find a husband. A childhood that didn’t affect her ability to create and build a successful company of her own. A childhood that didn’t affect her ability to find a friend group that she thrived in.

           But still that childhood has kept her trapped in a personality that changes whenever she is around the people who fostered it. There was no ill will in that childhood. But still Angie only shines as the successful adult she is around those she knows least—those who didn’t know her as a child.

Maybe this childish behavior in Angie is not a product of the child within her unwilling to grow up, but rather the inability in the adults around her to see anything else.