Blue Eyed Angel

I adjusted my microphone, mentally practicing my first song. When I was a little boy, every Thursday I performed at the little park down the road. It wasn't much, and I'd much rather be performing on huge stages for huge audiences, but I loved it.

I knew exactly who watched my set every day.

There was the lovely old woman who always made me muffins. I guess she knew how lonely I was.

There was the moderately attractive young man in his 20's, who always came just to flirt with the teenage girls who hung out nearby.

There was the middle aged couple who seemed to go there for date night.

No one ever seemed interested in my music, so I stopped. What was the point?

I gave up on my dream until one day, a little boy came up to me. He told me he missed my voice. I hadn't ever seen him before, so I wasn't aware he watched my performances.

The first thing I noticed on him was his lustrous blue eyes. I immediately fell in love with his bleached blonde hair and sunshine smile.

He made me promise to perform one last time, and I couldn't bring myself to say no to him.

His eyes never left mine as I sung my first song, him being the only one to ever show a hint of interest in my music, and I found myself wanting to perform again.

Sadly, I never saw him again. He didn't show up after that one night, so I quit singing all together. That was until I moved back to London when I was 23. I was walking past the park, when all the memories came flooding back. How singing took away all my worries and doubts. It made me feel free. I felt myself itching to grab a microphone and start again, so I did.

What I didn't expect was to come across the same ocean eyed prince I had one loved. He looked exactly the same, but more grown up. As I sung the first line, he seemed to light up, like he was missing my voice. He smiled when he saw it was me, and I couldn't take my eyes off him.

Although I didn't speak to him for about a month, I felt myself falling for him even more each time my dull brown eyes made contact with his glowing azure orbs. I noticed something different about him every time, from the way his hair was always styled the same - not at all, but still so perfect - to how he could always be found in an oversized hoodie. He was short, making it even cuter when he smiled.

His smile. I could look at it forever and never get bored. The way his eyes crinkled in the corners, his teeth fully on display and his dimples out for the world to see. He was adorable. I wanted to hug him. To kiss him. To hold him and never let him go.

But, I knew I could only do that if I spoke to him.

So, one night after singing a couple songs, I made my way over to the blonde beauty, who was sat on a bench, sipping a bottle of orange juice, and took a seat next to him.

"Hi." I breathed.

He looked up from his drink and smiled brightly when he saw it was me.

"Hey, I've been meaning to talk to you."

His voice was deep, but high pitched at the same time. It suited him really well.

I beamed. "Really?"

He nodded, "My name is Andy."

"Rye."

We talked for the rest of the night, just getting to know each other.

By the next day, I knew everything about the small boy who had stole my heart so quickly. From the little things, like the way he couldn't go to bed without leaving his bedroom window open, to the big things, like how his mum abandoned him when he was only young.

The way he spoke about his family, with such sadness, captivated me. He deserved the world. Someone so precious should not be passed around so carelessly.

He was broken, but even shattered glass could still cut you deeply.

I learnt that the hard way.

Every Thursday after that was spent with me singing him some of my favourite songs, then meeting him at that same bench. After that, we would walk to his and talk all night, sharing kisses once every so often.

I found myself dedicated every song I sung to him. I even wrote my own songs about him. Of course, I never sung those. We weren't even dating, that would be weird.

I knew I loved him though. I soon knew he felt the same. He told me through teary eyes one night.

The night that everything changed.

I had met him at the park after singing him a cover of Ocean Eyes by Billie Eilish. He was smiling, but there was an unfamiliar look in his eyes.

"Come with me." He said, taking my hand and leading me over to the far side of the park.

"What's wrong? Why aren't we going to yours?" I asked, genuinely confused as to what we were doing over here.

He answered my question with a kiss, but it wasn't anything like our other kisses. This one was filled with passion. With desire. With love.

Reciprocated love.

In that moment, the whole world stopped. It was just him and I.

The way it was meant to be.

"What was that for?" I questioned after we finally pulled away.

"I love you, Rye." He whispered, cuddling into my chest. "I always have donea, ever since we were young."

Upon instinct, I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close.

"I love you too Andy. So much."

He told me I couldn't go to his house that night. I was curious, but didn't question it. I just pulled him into another kiss and made him promise that I'd see him the next week.

"You promise you'll be here next Thursday?"

He looked down, his usual bright eyes dripping with sadness.

"Promise." He replied hesitantly.

But I was too happy to notice his hesitation. I went home happy that night, knowing the boy I loved, loved me back.

When the time came for me to next perform, I sat and waited for him to show up. I waited hours and hours. Pitiful stares were thrown my way, but I ignored them, confident that Andy wouldn't let me down.

"Rye?"

I turned around when I heard my name. But it wasn't the short blonde boy I was met with. It was a taller brunette lad who I didn't recognise.

"You're Andy's boyfriend, right?" He asked, a weird tone in his voice.

"Not officially, but go on."

He sighed, placing a hand sympathetically on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry to have to be the one to tell you this, but he asked me to." He started off, obviously trying to ease into whatever news he had for me, but I was impatient.

"Tell me what?"

"Andy. He killed himself last night."

Just like that, the ground swallowed me whole. I felt like I was suffocating. Like I was drowning, but I couldn't swim up for air.

"No, y-you're lying." I accused.

He stayed silent, only handing me a slip of paper. I unfolded it and read the note written in incredibly neat handwriting.

"Jack, please give this to Rye. He'll be waiting for me at the park.

Rye, I'm sorry. I wanted to be strong for you, but it all got too much. I'm glad I told you I loved you before it was too late.

Please don't be sad. You'll find someone better.

I love you.

Your guardian angel, Andy x"

I stood up, shoving past the guy I now knew was Jack, and walked over to my small performance spot.

Clearing my throat into the microphone to get everyone's attention, I stuffed the note into my pocket and grabbed my guitar.

"Here is a song I wrote about the boy I fell in love with. The boy who I'll never see again."

"Sleep tight angel." I whispered, before starting the song.

As I sung, I looked out at everyone sat in the park.

The park where I met my blue eyed angel.

The park where I lost my blue eyed angel.