Somerville, Massachussets

Age 9, Liam

Percy sat on the highest platform of the playground, legs stuck under the railing so they could swing in open air. He hung onto the bars while his eyes followed Liam, who was running in circles around the swing set to annoy Jake.

“Stop it, Liam! I’m going to get Mr. Davis!”

“He won’t do anything; I’m not even touching you! How about you stop being a baby?”

Percy laughed and called out, “Yeah, Jake! You’re a baby!”

Liam looked up towards Percy and smiled.

“God, leave me alone and go hang out with your boyfriend or whatever!” Jake whined.

“See, only babies whine like that,” Liam laughed. He did, however, walk away from the swing set to go up the playground. He took the climbing net rather than the stairs, so Percy watched as he struggled confidently for the nearly five minutes it took. Liam was panting when he sat down next to Percy. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Percy responded.

“How come you talk so quiet?”

“Guess I don’t like when people spy on me.”

“Oh… that’s a good reason! Hey, you’re pretty smart Peter.”

“It’s Percy.”

“Oh. Well, can I tell you a secret Percy?”

Percy sits up a little straighter, excited at the prospect of having a friend close enough to share secrets with. “Yeah! I’ll keep it, promise.”

Liam leaned in and kissed Percy’s cheek, so fast Percy thought it would probably blur if it were on camera. “I totally think you’d actually be a cool boyfriend, actually. Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

While Percy was stunned, Liam got up and ran down the slide. He stumbled towards the end, and fell onto the wood chips, but he got up and grinned at Percy like nothing happened.

Age 13, Dennis

Dennis came to sit by Percy at lunch. There was plenty of room, the round table being empty other than Percy himself. “Hey.”

“Uh… hey?” His tone was obvious: Do I know you?

“I’m Dennis.”

“Percy.”

“What’s that short for anyway?”

“Percival.”

“Oh… yeah, I’d go by Percy too.”

Percival sighed. “What do you want, Dennis?”

“I heard you liked boys. Like, like like them. Is that true?”

Great, this again, Percy thought. He’d been dealing with this same routine since Jake outed him in 6th grade. “Yeah, I’m gay. You can just say ‘gay’.”

“Uh, I’m not gonna call you gay. That’s mean.” Percy rolled his eyes and moved himself and his tray one seat over, so that there was an empty seat between the two boys. “Look,” Dennis said, almost but not quite snapping at Percy, “I just wanted to ask if you maybe wanted to come over to my house sometime. I have Mario Kart.”

“No thanks.”

“I have Mario Party, too. The new one, 5.”

“I said no, Dennis.”

Dennis scoffed and shot Percy a dirty look. “I thought you said you liked boys.”

“I liked some boys. I don’t like jerks.”

“Whatever. Just don’t tell anyone we talked about this.” As he got up to go join his friends, Dennis coughed out, “Loser.”

Age 16, Liam

Only one of Liam’s green eyes was in the sunlight. The bleachers cast thick stripes of shadow on them both, as Liam slid a hand up from the nape of Percy’s neck and into his hair. Percy closed his eyes, and could no longer see the light making Liam’s golden hair into a broken halo and refracting within his right iris until it glittered. Their lips met, and Percy had about… five seconds to enjoy it before they heard, “Liam? Where’d you go, dickhead?”

Liam pulled away, just as fast as that day on the playground when they were little. Maybe faster. He stepped back, and pushed Percy a bit too. Percy gave him a hurt look, losing his footing a little more than necessary. Liam just rolled his eyes and made a shooing gesture towards the other side of the bleachers. Percy scoffed, offended, but turned to go. Liam hissed, “Hey. Don’t tell anyone,” and walked out the closer side to meet his friends.

Age 17, Wesley

Wes almost fell climbing back out of Percy’s bedroom window. He stood up straight after stumbling, and grinned at Percy like nothing happened. Percy laughed. It reminded him of Liam.

“Hey do me a favor and don’t tell anyone? About this? I haven’t come out to my parents yet, and I wanna make sure they hear it from me. You know?”

Percy smiled sadly. “Yea, I get it. No worries; I’m great at secrets.”

“Cool. See you later, Percy.”

Age 18, Liam

“Hey, you got in too!”

Percy jumped, startled, and looked over his shoulder to see Liam looming and reading his acceptance letter. “Yeah, I actually got into all of my top three.”

“Holy crap, for real? Seriously, congrats man. That’s awesome”. Liam sat down next to Percy.

“Thanks. I was probably gonna go with Emory? It’s the highest ranking, plus Georgia students get a grant every semester to help with tuition.”

“No way dude, you gotta go with BU! I got in, Grace is going. Oh, and I hear Wesley B. got in too, you’re friends right?”

“Wow, peer pressure huh?”

“Hey, hey, it’s your decision. Really. But it might be nice, having friends already. Who are you gonna know at Emory?”

“True…” Emory looks a lot better on a resumé, but it would be worth it to not lose touch with Liam, wouldn’t it?

“And anyway, did you wanna stay in Georgia your whole life? I mean,” and here Liam lowered his voice and leaned in, “you can’t even get married here.”

Percy snorted. “You proposing, Liam?”

The other boy laughed nervously and looked around. “Hell no, don’t you go telling anyone I said that.”

Age 19, Angel

Percy gasped slightly when Angel pulled away. He tilted his head back and hit the brick wall he was pressed up against.

“Hey, you know I’m not gay, right?”

Percy buffered for a moment. “Sorry… what?”

“It’s just I don’t want you telling anyone I’m gay. I know it’s like, cool now or whatever, especially back in Cali, but I’m not. This is just college stuff, you know?”

It still took Percy a couple seconds to process, and once he had he slowly pushed Angel away. “Yeah, I’m uh… I’m gonna go. For the record you definitely are gay – or bi, or something? Just so you know.” He sort of awkwardly patted Angel on the shoulder and started to leave.

“Seriously bro, don’t tell anyone!”

Percy scoffed. “Keep this up, everyone’s gonna find out anyway. Straight guys don’t do this.”

“What, kiss dudes?”

“I meant vehemently argue that they’re not gay, but yeah, that too.”

Age 19, Liam

“Hey, Liam? Do you maybe wanna… go get dinner sometime?”

“Sure, what kind of dinner?”

“The date kind?”

Liam paused. “Oh. Well, uh, yeah. Sure, long as you don’t tell anyone. Maybe we can head out to Somerville?”

“Why? That’s something like 20 minutes away, isn’t it?”

“Well yeah, but I- I dunno, it’s nice there.”

Percy sighed as he realized what this was. Still, it was worth it for a date with Liam, wasn’t it? “Yeah, sure. I’ll find somewhere in Somerville.”

Age 20, Adam

“I had a great night, P.”

“Me too.” Percy was standing at the stove, making eggs for the two of them. Adam came up from behind to wrap his arms around him.

“So, you’re not gonna say anything to my girlfriend, right?”

“Your girlf—? Get the hell out.”

Age 20, Liam

“You’re the best, Percy.”

“Because I’m driving you home?”

“Yeah, but not just that, okay?” Liam’s words slurred together a bit, and the Georgian accent that had started to lessen a bit over the last two years in Boston was back in full force. “It’s ‘cause, y’know, ‘cause you’re not drunk, and—”

“I’m not old enough yet, you know that.”

“And ‘cause you care about stuff like that! It’s nice, having someone around who cares about the rules and stuff. Makes me look more resh— respell— respectable.”

Percy looked over at Liam, slumped over in the passenger’s seat. “Yep. Respectable. That’s the word I’d use.”

“And you never run your mouth! Did you know Grace is a horrible gossip?”

“Mm, I’ve heard.”

Liam laughed. Percy sighed – he still loved that laugh.

Age 20, Wesley

“Hey, Percy!” Wes had to run a bit to catch up, as Percy was headed to his next class. Percy turned to acknowledge him, but Wes was talking again before Percy could greet him. He was out of breath and stammering, though. “I w- was wondering, um, did you, uh, d- did you maybe—” Wes was clearly struggling to get his words out for some reason or another, and Percy stopped walking so he could catch his breath. “Sorry, I just, um…” He looked up at Percy as if asking for help.

“Did you want to come over tonight?”

Wes blushed. “No! Well, sort of. I- I mean, maybe. That’s not what I meant. Do you wanna go out? For dinner, I mean. I know this place in Somerville—”

“Right. Somerville, of course.”

Wes froze. “D- Do you not like Somerville? We can go somewhere else. I can find somewhere in town, if it’s about the drive!”

That did give Percy pause. “You’d take me somewhere in town?” Wes tilted his head. Adorable, Percy thought.

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Percy absolutely beamed, and watched Wes’ shy smile form in return. “No reason,” Percy lied. “I’d love to go out. Wherever you like.”

Age 21, Liam

BEEP. “Hey, Percy. Sorry, you’re probably in class; that’s why you didn’t pick up, right? Anyway, I wanted to know if you were up for taking a drive out to Somerville, maybe spend the night at that motel. I know it’s been a while, but my parents are in town and I could use a break from them, you know what I mean?”

BEEP. “Hey, I saw you accidentally read my texts and forgot to respond again. No big deal, obviously, I was just wondering who that was in your new voicemail recording. It kinda sounded like Wesley B. Anyway, my parents are still in town, breathing down my neck. Let me know about Somerville, okay?”

BEEP. “Hey, got big news. Call me.”

BEEP. “Me and Grace went over to your dorm and you weren’t there. You’re not avoiding me, are you?”

BEEP. “Seriously, Percy. It’s important.”

Age 21, Wesley

Percy’s phone rang again. He silenced it, but didn’t hang up.

“Who’s blowing you up?” Wes asked as he sat down with the bowl of popcorn.

“Liam.”

“Wow, who could’ve predicted that ghosting him wouldn’t send a clear message?”

“Look, I just haven’t figured out what to say to him, okay?”

Wes put his feet up on the coffee table. “Okay, okay. Sorry. But we’re coming up on 6 months, you gotta tell him eventually.”

“I know, I…” Percy shook his head and laughed. “I never thought I’d be the one keeping you a secret.”

Wes laughed along, but in a way that made it obvious he didn’t get the joke. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know. I’m always the one hearing ‘Don’t tell my girlfriend,’ ‘Don’t tell my friends,’ ‘Don’t tell my parents,’ all that.”

Wes furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head. “Is this about that thing in high school? When I hadn’t come out yet?”

“Well… kind of. But it’s not like it was just you.”

“Okay, but I came out to my parents the next week. And you were already making out with Liam in the stairwell again by the time I tried to tell you.”

Percy hadn’t known that. “The next week?”

“Yeah, man. I was gonna ask you to prom and everything.”

“Prom?” Percy outright giggled. “Wes, we’d have gotten run out of town!”

“Eh, who cares.” He waved dismissively and looked at Percy out of the corner of his eye with a sly smile. It was very endearing.

“Ha, yeah. I’m sorry, I… was hung up on him for a long time.”

Wes’ smile fell. “Percy. Come on.”

“What?”

“You’re still hung up on him! You’d rather let him fill up your voicemail than tell him you have a boyfriend.”

“I’m sure he’ll get the hint.”

“He won’t, baby. He has never once in his life gotten the hint.”

Percy opened his mouth to keep arguing, but he looked up from his phone to see that Wes looked genuinely concerned. He took a deep breath. “Okay. Let me listen to these and then I’ll call him.”

BEEP. “Look, okay, fine. I’ll just say it here. I know you never liked the whole secret thing. And I’m sorry about that. And I know you’re probably with Wesley, but I also know that you’ve just been waiting for me this whole time. Well, I came out to my parents, okay? It didn’t go great, and they’re pissed as hell, but I did it. So just answer me, alright? Let’s talk. We can sort this out now.”

He didn’t react immediately, just started deleting the messages one by one.

“What did he say?” Wes prodded after a long silence.

“Basically? He said he came out to his parents, so I should leave you and start following him around again.”

“Not in so many words, I’m guessing.”

“No. But I know what he means.” Percy sighed and put his phone down, dragging a hand over his face. “I mean what is his deal? He knew the whole time that I didn’t like how he was treating me, he did it anyway, and when I finally just give up on him it’s suddenly the easiest thing in the world to come out? And worse, he thinks that fixes anything?”

“I’d think so too if I were him, honestly. I mean, have you ever actually told him that it’s not about whether he’s out?”

“He should know better.”

“You should know better. You can’t make someone come out. You can’t make it any less dangerous, and you definitely can’t make them be ready.”

“I know that, Wes.”

“Good. So just tell him that it was everything else.”

“Everything else,” Percy echoed in a murmur. “That’s specific.”

“Get specific if you need to, write him a laundry list, I don’t care. He led you on for years, he talked about you behind your back, he helped Jake with that thing in 6th grade. But don’t do it because you think it’ll fix him. He’s not gonna be a better guy afterwards.”

“He’s not a bad guy in the first place.”

“Your first kiss ever got interrupted because his friends wanted to give me a swirly!”

Percy laughed without humor. “Yeah… that wasn’t great. But I wouldn’t keep being his friend if he was completely irredeemable.”

Wes sighed. “Baby, I love you, but that’s crap. You have awful taste in men.”

Percy looked him over. “You know I don’t think I do.”

“You absolutely do.” Wes smacked Percy’s arm lightly. “You have an uncanny talent for finding men who aren’t nearly mature enough for an actual relationship. The only difference with Liam is that you’re having a harder time throwing him out.”

“We’ve been friends since I was nine years old.”

“And that sucks. Really. But he has been downright creepy since we started going out, and you need to get over him before you find him watching us through the slats of the closet door or something.”

“He’s not a serial killer just because he left me a few too many voicemails!”

“I know; I’m just joking. Talk to him. Please?”

“Okay. I’m sorry.”

Age 21, Liam

“I already said I was sorry!”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry. It’s way too little, too late.”

“This is not how you treat people when they come out. You always said I should wait until I was ready.”

“And I stand by that, but that’s not the point. The point is you expected me to wait, too. To just be alone, for who knows how long.”

“If you weren’t so sensitive about me not wanting people to know we were together—”

“We weren’t together, Liam! And you wouldn’t even tell people we were friends.”

“I told Grace we were friends.”

“And Grace told everyone else that I kissed your dog.”

“Oh my God, we were in middle school.”

“But you didn’t say anything. And when people said I was a Satanist you didn’t say anything, and when people said I was bringing knives to school you didn’t say anything, and when people said I was working at a strip club senior year you put body glitter in my locker—”

“That wasn’t me!”

“No one else knew my combination! So unless it was the principal, you at least helped! The point is, Liam, you have been absolutely awful to me since we were kids, and I have defended you my whole life anyway, because I thought surely at some point you would get better. But you didn’t. So I’m done. Lose my number.”

“Percy!” Liam calls after him as he walks away. Percy grits his teeth and keeps walking.

Age 29, Wesley

“What if we got married in Somerville?”

“Wesley Anthony Bennett, I will kill you, I swear to God.”

“Yeah, alright Percival.”