A Gentle Push

“You want me to write you a story?” Emma asked. She’d noticed Will had been bringing up her writing more often, but this was the first time he’d ever asked her to write something. 

“I do.” Will said, amusement lining his face. 

“Why?” Emma knew where this was going, and she was dreading it already. 

“I know you’ve been having a hard time lately, but you haven’t written something in months.” He explained. 

“And?” Emma stood there, waiting for him to make his point. 

“Now you have a reason to.” He smiled, hoping she would feel encouraged. She really didn’t. 

Emma was a writer. It was simple. Writing was her entire life, and she couldn’t imagine doing anything else. Her only problem was that she’d had a creative block that had now lasted 4 months. She couldn’t help it, she just couldn’t bring herself to sit in front of her computer and write. Will had seen her frustration, she looked as if she’d lost a part of being and he hated it.  He only wanted to help her rediscover her craft. They were sitting at her dining table when he proposed the idea that she should write him something. 

“I don’t want to.” Emma whined, readying herself to stand up, end the conversation and curl up in her bed. 

“I think you’re just afraid of actually sitting down and writing something-” 

“I got rejected, Will!” He watched as she put her face in her hands, groaning. 

“Emma, I think you need to hear this, so please listen to me when I say that the rejections aren’t going to stop.” She knew he was right, and that she was just being unreasonable, but it had gotten to the point where she had been 

“You think I don’t know that?” She said frustratedly. Emma had spent years writing, with nothing coming her way, and a thousand rejections knocking on her door. Her anxiety had gotten the better of her and she’d just stopped. She couldn’t handle the dread of spending hours sitting at her computer willing herself to write, so she slowly spent less time doing it. 

“Your stories are incredible, and I know it’s hard to keep hitting roadblocks like this but eventually you’ll break through and I really don’t think you should give this up.” Will had been the only one who had consistently believed in her and told her to keep pushing. Whenever Emma had written a story, she would give it to Will, who would proceed to give her honest feedback even though she knew that he would read anything she wrote. 

Emma didn’t know what to tell him. She knew he believed in her, she just didn’t believe in herself. 

“I haven’t been able to come up with anything good in months, Will. I know it sounds petty to complain about getting rejected all the time but I feel like I can’t take it, it’s not fun for me anymore.” She stated, looking at him with a sorry expression. 

“Have you even tried?” The tone of his voice made her physically recoil, but he had a point. 

Silence. He sighed, already knowing the answer

“Just write something. Anything. It can even be about your week, it doesn’t have to be good, it just has to be finished. ” Will stated, attempting to convince her one last time, and then getting up from his chair. 

Emma sat down at her desk, pondering over the idea of just opening Netflix and calling it a day. However, she knew she’d made Will a promise, and she owed it to him to at least try and write a few words. Anything was better than nothing. She’d even made tea for herself in an attempt to create a more calming atmosphere and quell her recent anxiety. Writing felt like she was opening up a part of her soul to be placed permanently onto the page, and perhaps that was why it hurt to think about not doing it anymore. Emma had given away parts of herself to her stories, and in turn they had evolved into something bigger that helped her grow as a person and as a writer. While the idea sounded painful, pouring her heart into stories came as a second nature to her. As she sat there opening her laptop, she felt a wave of nostalgia roll through her. She’d thought about the times where she’d excitedly give Will a new story to read, or the times where she’d felt the most pride in herself just for finishing something.  Emma had every reason to feel anxiety over writing again, it was only natural after being away from it for so long. 

She spent the first half an hour outlining something quick, and backspacing every other idea she came up with, until she settled on just writing about her friendship with Will. After all, his encouragement was the reason she had sat down to write after months of avoiding her hobby. At first, Emma had found it difficult to form the right words and channel her feelings. She was definitely out of practise, but it didn’t take long for her focus to set in and soon she was practicing her craft as if she’d never left it in the first place. 

The moment she started to type she felt a sense of familiarity that was stronger than ever. Emma had been so focused on success that she had forgotten the joys of storytelling, and Will had seen that more than she did. Emma was passionate about finding a story to tell in every aspect of life, even the bad parts. While it may have taken her a long hiatus to truly appreciate herself and her work, she knew that writing was what she did best and she would continue to do it even if she had to force herself.  She wrote about her struggles, her triumphs, her fear of rejection, and her love for those who pushed her. She told her own story, and after finishing it, Emma felt like she had just taken in a breath of fresh air. She felt like herself again. 

When she gave her story to Will, she felt emotional, taking  in the look of pride on his face as he could finally see the version of Emma that had gone into hiding. They both knew this was a good step. She was writing again, and she was doing it for herself. All she needed was a gentle push.