Man Discovers He Has A Second Chance!

(Reuters – Montreal)

June **, 20**

The Man in Question

A man discovered recently that life is not to be abandoned just because he has reached a certain age, does not have a large amount of money in the bank, and has limited his social circle to only key people, source say.

The man in question – name withheld pending publication ban – was on the edge of giving up on his life and returning to his community with his proverbial tail between his legs. After many years of work, it was seen that the man was not making any real progress with his career, had very few relationships beyond the school and certain various acquaintances, and then the added blow of having to move to a new place with very little time to prepare. This is not to indicate that the man was at all suicidal. Based on initial reports, the man had too much interest in life to just end it in such a clichéd manner.

It is not completely clear how the man discovered he had a second chance in this life. The man was not showing any sign of wanting to change his life, or of even believing that it could be improved on. The real mystery of why he did not give up remains.

*

Work Life and His Admirers

Based on the recent discoveries made by our staff, the man decided that life was not something that you could control, so he had no choice but to go along with it. This is a rather unusual way for anyone to decide to go on living, but it seems to work for him.

“We are just impressed that he is still in the game and not giving up,” said Mr. James Corey, a close friend who was reached for comment. “It is not like he had a lot of options available to him. It’s not like he had money, women, power, or…well, much of anything going on.”

Mr. Corey is referring to the fact that the man works on contract at a school that deals with students who are remedial, recent immigrants, and usually on their last rung of the ladder.

“It is a ‘last-chance’ school,” said Ms. Tina Correlli, head of the English department at the Lister Technical College. “Many of our students are more comfortable staring at a phone screen or playing a video game than with writing or reading anything we give them. I am often in awe of how he does it. Every semester, I see the herd…the students who enter our school, and I wonder if there has been a mistake. By the end of the semester, with all of the evaluations and grades in, he continually comes out on top. The students all love him. Every single time. Every **** time.”

We contacted several of those students for a second opinion and found that he was quite popular with them. Comments like, “the best of the group”, “perfect English instructor”, and “my best teacher ever” were quite popular on the page devoted to the school’s students. There is clearly a great deal of love here. Our records show that this is also a repeated response over many semesters and can be traced to the earliest stages of the man’s career.

The man is not available for comment on this issue.

*

Future Plans

So, what is in store for the man who has this special chance?

Details are sketchy, but it seems that he will now have an actual life. Our investigation has discovered that he has not really been living a real life for many years now. According to our sources, the last time the man had one was when working overseas and he felt that things would constantly get better and he would not despair on what he could achieve.

The man was a teacher overseas and enjoyed his time as an ESL instructor in a country where he could not speak the language. In a shared house with other foreigners, he was not special or a standout in any way, but he did feel that he was a part of a team that was going to take on the world and achieve things that could not have been done if he never left his home. His work took him to various countries, cities, homes, offices; it introduced him to different people, cultures, attitudes and beliefs. This is a possible reason why he was so comfortable with students here and could generate so much love and respect from them.

Discovery and Truth

Clearly, the man’s memories brought back to him the fact that life is not over just because you have reached a particular number of candles on the cake that you bought for yourself once a year. It does not matter if there is grey in the hair, pain in the joints, and less interest in the most recent pop culture. Life is to be lived by those of us willing to remember the truth: everyday is another chance.

It seems that the man will now attempt to make up for all those little challenges he once ignored or thought that he could take up at another time. He has a lot of stories to tell and with some of his recent work online, he now feels that he may actually have a story to tell that should be placed between the pages of a book! An actual book!

No word yet on the possibilities for television or film adaptations, but there is a lot of talk about the salacious details contained within: the prom night disappointment which turned into something much more interesting; the first real love of his life who became the one woman he could never forget; the travels and discoveries made, both in different locales and within himself; the long life of a man who was forced to finally look back at himself.

Stay tuned to this page and please keep your eyes on this column for all the gossip yet to come and all the news that is fit to be heard.

This is a story that we can all enjoy!

 XOX