The Sea Glass Menagerie

Wednesday, June 8

Arrived in Cape May about 3 o’clock this afternoon. Had a late start leaving the house because Billie wanted to buy a new bikini first. She should have done that a few days earlier, like me. But she’s Billie. Said she didn’t have time. Like I have a lot of time?

The Bonnie June is a very pretty B&B. First thing I did (after we checked in) was try on my bikini. (Should have done that a few days earlier, but I REALLY didn’t have time. I had two boring school papers to write over the last two weeks.) Anyway, bikini looked okay. Not great. Just okay. Makes my hips look a little fat blubbery hippy. Billie says some guys like that. I think she said that just to make me feel better. Planning on getting a bite to eat at Carney’s for dinner. (Used to eat there a lot with my parents when I was a kid.) Maybe see a show at Cape May Stage after that. Will decide later. No rush to do stuff. Staying 6 nights (longest vacation of my life, I think!) Lots of time for amazing things to happen. Right?

Went to the beach. Stayed an hour.

Thursday, June 9

Didn’t go to Carney’s last night. Went to Ugly Mug instead. Very nice. Had a Caesar salad. A little too limp, but not terrible. Billie had a turkey burger. Awesome dessert. Some kind of chocolate parfait thing with thick mocha sauce. It looked at my hips and said You’re mine, sucker! Billie flirted with the bartender. I’m not ready for that yet. Want to feel more relaxed before I flirt. Maybe tomorrow.

Saw ‘Butterflies Are Free’ at Cape May Stage after dinner. Small theater in an old church. It was ok. Not great. These actors don’t make lots of money but seem to enjoy themselves. What a concept! I always wanted to play Jill in ‘Butterflies.’ This Jill was pretty good. But the guy who played Don acted TOO MUCH like a blind person. The story takes care of that. The actor doesn’t have to overdo it. That’s like saying Hey people, look at me, I’m acting! Don is supposed to be comfortable with his blindness, and this guy didn’t look comfortable at all. But what the hell do I know? Sure, I know a lot about Tennessee Williams (having been in 3 of his plays before I switched my major), but what does it matter now anyway? Am I right? (I can’t believe I’m talking to my diary like it’s a real person. Well, if you need a clue that I really need a vacation, there you go!)

Billie and I sat an extra half hour at breakfast this morning talking to the owner of the B&B. His name’s Andy. Interesting guy. Used to publish a health magazine, but then gave it up to run a B&B, which is what he always wanted to do. (Doing what you really want to do. What a concept! I feel like I said that recently somewhere else.) Andy asked all about our plans after college. Billie said she wants to be a vet and I said I want to be a teacher.

Got to the beach at noon. Sunset Beach, on the Delaware Bay. Not the regular beach by the ocean. I like it better. Quieter. No waves. Billie was laying (lying? I never knew the difference) on the towel and suddenly popped up and said Teacher?  She wanted to know why I told Andy I wanted to be. a teacher. She said You switched from acting to sociology, and now all of a sudden you want to be a teacher? I told her that teacher sounded better than sociologist, and definitely better than actress. Most people have no clue what a sociologist does, anyway. (Like I do?) Billie looked like she was angry at me for some reason. I really don’t know why. But I really didn’t feel like talking about it anyway, so I told Billie we’d discuss it later. Or not.

Friday, June 10

A little overcast today. Went to Sunset Beach. Saw something strange odd bizarre unusual. A man was walking along the beach picking up pebbles, shells and sea glass. He examined each little piece, then skimmed each one into the bay, then wrote something in a tiny notebook. He looked like he was about 50ish. Curly yellowish hair. A little wrinkled. (A lot, actually.) Billie told me to stop staring at him and asked why I wasn’t searching for hunks instead. I said it was a non-hunk vacation. She said there was no such thing.

Climbed the Cape May Lighthouse. 199 steps. Billie started bitching and moaning after 29. I didn’t mind it. My hips thanked me. At the top I told Billie my idea for a romance novel that could be turned into a movie. About a lady lighthouse operator who waits for her sailor-lover to come back from sea so that they can make mad, passionate love on the beach. Billie suggested George Clooney as the sailor. I said Brad Pitt. She asked who would play me. I didn’t answer.  Billie said that she thought I’d say me—that I should play myself. I said to her, Did you forget that I switched my major? That it’s stupid to try to be an actress, even though that’s what I wanted for years and years? Billie laughed at me and told me it’s also stupid to be a sociologist because no one knows what a sociologist does. We argued about it 199 steps above Cape May. An old couple, tourists from Canada I think, heard our stupid fight and laughed at us. Yeah, real funny. Go back to Canada, ay?

Had dinner tonight at Lucky Bones. Stuffed flounder. Delicious. No waiters, only waitresses. No single guys around, only couples and families. Billie was so pissed!  I kinda felt bad for her. I promised that the next place we have dinner at would have a lot of single guys. I hope I can make good on my promise. I really have no idea.

Went to Sunset Beach at sunset. Beautiful. They do a flag lowering ceremony on behalf of U.S. service people. Very moving. I like it. Plus I like the fact that it’s all families. No gawking guys. Billie was mad about that. Claims I didn’t tell her it would be like that on Sunset Beach. But I did tell her. I remember telling her. I swear.

Saturday, June 11

Andy’s wife Deanna sat with us for a few minutes at breakfast. Deanna used to work on a cruise ship. Nice woman. Breakfast this time wasn’t awesome. The French toast was over-toasted. I didn’t tell that to Deanna.

Spent most of the day at Sunset Beach. Saw that man again. Still collecting and skimming and studying pebbles and shells and sea glass. He passed practically right in front of us. I said Hi. Billie was mortified that I has hi and turned around on the blanket to bury her face in the sand. The man said Hi back to me. I told him my name and he said people call him Auggie. I asked Auggie if he lived in Cape May. He said he used to be a wedding photographer years ago but never liked it. He kept walking and collecting his stuff.

Finally had dinner at Carney’s. Just got back to the room. I remember when I was a teenager I’d stare at all the 20-somethings in Carney’s who were trying to impress each other. Now I’m one of them!!! Met two guys who seemed nice. Nick and Al. They asked us to come over to the bar when they saw me and Billie (Billie and I? Billie and me?) at a table together. I didn’t really want to join them at the bar, but I could tell that Billie was fixated love-struck smitten hot for Al and would hate me for the rest of my life if I screwed up a double date opportunity by saying no. So I said ok. The four of us are going out tomorrow afternoon.

Sunday, June 12

Just got back from our double date with Nick and Al. More like an interview than a date. But sort of nice anyway. Took a horse-and-buggy ride around Cape May. Probably would have been more romantic at night, but I think Nick and Al wanted to see what we really looked like in daylight. The horse pooped twice during the ride, but it pooped in a pocket attached to its butt so that the poop doesn’t go onto the street. Al said it’s probably a patented invention. He said he’s an engineering major at Cornell. He asked what I was studying and I told him I was deciding between elementary education and sociology and he said that I didn’t sound convinced. I said Well, believe me, or not, I don’t really care. Actually, I almost said something about once wanting to be an actor, just to see the kind of face Billie would make if I suddenly brought acting back into the picture! (Sort of like my own private amusement, I guess. Or not.) But I didn’t bring it up. Nick said he’s studying to be a landscape architect. Also at Cornell. Billie talked about becoming a vet. Nick told her that she didn’t seem to be the vet type, and Billie got really mad when he said that. She said to him, Hey, I know what I want! I think Nick was turned on by her strongness toughness self-confidence. Billie told him where we were staying. I have a feeling Nick will stop by to see her!

Monday, June 13

Nick came for Billie after breakfast. He dumped his friend Al. He took Billie to a secluded beach called Higbee. Used to be a nude beach (I think clothing-optional is the preferred way to say it) but isn’t anymore. Billie and I read about it when we researched B&Bs a couple of months ago. I don’t know if Billie was disappointed or not that not wearing bathing suits at Higbee was not an option anymore. Sometimes she surprises me. She’s unpredictable. I remember talking about it with her back home. I said I would NEVER go to a naked beach. She said What would you do if you ever got a part in a production of ‘Equus’ or ‘Hair’ which have nude scenes? I told her that it was a moot point (never thought I’d use the word moot, but there you go!) because elementary school teachers always wear clothes. I asked her why she brought up ‘Equus’ and ‘Hair’ when she knew I wasn’t planning on becoming an actress anymore. She ignored me.

Went back to Sunset Beach. By myself at first. Andy and Deanna stopped me as I was leaving and asked why Billie wasn’t with me. I told them where she was (Higbee, still). Andy said he overheard the two of us talking at breakfast for the past few mornings and that our relationship reminded him of a sitcom. I really wish he hadn’t said

that. 

Billie stayed with Nick at Higbee Beach for two hours. Then she went back to the Bonnie June. Deanna told her where I was (Sunset Beach) and gave her a lift so that she could join me there.

At Sunset Beach. Billie just laid (lay? lied?) face up on the beach while I looked around. Saw Auggie again. At first he was far away. When he got closer he said Top ‘o the mornin’ to you, lass, even though I don’t think he’s Irish, and even though I don’t look Irish either. He had the most incredible collection of pebbles, shells and sea glass I’ve ever seen, in a big plastic pail. He continued to walk along the shore. It was so interesting to watch him, maybe because he looked so interested in what he was doing. He skimmed a few rocks and a few pieces of sea glass into the bay, and every once in a while he jotted down a few things in his little notebook.

Went over to Auggie and asked what he was doing, and why. He smiled. Seemed like he had a story to tell but didn’t want to tell it just yet. That look and that smile—good character traits to use one day for a part something. Not that I’ll ever need a character trait for any reason. Just saying. But then he did tell me his story. He said that he’s been studying pebbles, shells and sea glass and the way they skim in the water for ten years now only because it was something he always wanted to do. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. Those were his words.  

Billie watched while Auggie talked to me. I think she heard some of what he said. Or not. I don’t know. But she probably did, because a few minutes later she said to me quietly, Now there’s someone who likes what he’s doing. I asked her what she meant by that. She said that Auggie looked so happy about his goddamn sea glass (her words). She said he looked like he had inner peace, which I don’t seem to have, she said. I told her that she doesn’t seem to have inner peace either. What a stupid conversation! I don’t think either of us knew what we were talking about. It was like we were completely wasted. Or not. I don’t know. 

Tuesday, June 14

Billie went out with Nick last night. Got back to the room a little past midnight. She told me that it’s over with Nick because he’s more interested in himself than in her. They were in his hotel room, and he checked himself out in the mirror about once every five minutes, she said. Anyway, Billie’s still asleep, so I’ll go to breakfast alone.

Right before breakfast I went outside and called mom. She said I had received mail from the Sociology department at Montclair State. I already know that it’s a bunch of boring stuff about classes and lectures and registering and books and stuff. Blah blah blah blah blah. Mom said I even got a newsletter from the acting department because apparently they forgot to take my name off the mailing list after I switched my major.

Went back to the room after breakfast. Billie was up, but groggy. Drove to Sunset Beach alone. It was misty, but not too bad. Auggie was there! I wasn’t surprised. He’s incredible, the way he’s always out there doing what he does. He had his notebook in a zip-lock bag so that it wouldn’t get damp in the mist. He also had an umbrella that he stuck in the sand, and he sat under it so that he could write in his notebook without the pages getting wet. I actually followed him as he moved from one part of the beach to another. He didn’t seem to mind. I told Auggie that I admired his perseverence (sp?) and his devotion to his work. (Billie would be mortified if she saw me following Auggie around like a little puppy.). Auggie smiled and said it’s not his work. He said it was his passion and his destiny. Those were his words. Passion and destiny. What a concept.

Went back to the room. It was time to pack and leave. Billie was running out of steam anyway.

Got home mid-afternoon. Mom said I looked relaxed. Spoke to Billie on the phone. She had gone back to sleep in her apartment after I dropped her off. I think I woke her. Oh well. She said that maybe next summer we should try someplace else. Maybe Ocean City. Or Long Beach Island. I didn’t tell Billie this (she hung up to go back to sleep), but I think I’d like to go back to Cape May. Maybe even to the Bonnie June. If I told Billie that, she’d say I just wanted to see Auggie again, even though he’s more than twice my age and kind of odd. That’s not the reason. I don’t know the reason.

I don’t really feel like unpacking right now. Too tired. Maybe later. I’m gonna log onto Montclair.edu first and do what I decided to do on the drive home from Cape may, which is to change my major back to acting. If Billie calls later I’ll tell her. Or not.