Submitted to: Contest #190

Hro

Written in response to: "Start your story with someone vowing to take revenge."

Adventure Fiction

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

He blinked awake and saw her walking down the hall toward him. How long had it been since the last intruder? His eyes shifted toward a pile of bones and gear against the wall to his right. ‘Not long at all.’ He thought. Turning his attention back to the woman who woke him. “Turn back. No mortal may pass.” He watched as the woman continued walking toward him.

She wore plates of hardened leather and carried a thin blade. She looked lithe and athletic and walked with predatory confidence. “My name is Tessa and I’ve come to claim my rightful place as a goddess! You killed my grandfather, now you will die guardian.” She announced boldly.

This was far from the first to speak so brazenly. He almost pitied the woman. He too once walked this very hall, and he too raised his blade against the guardian. She would die painfully. The least he could do was make it quick.

She brandished her blade and slowly turned and settled into her stance with a confident smirk.

With some small effort he shifted, dust and small pieces of rubble fell from his armor. His massive wooden shield came around before him and he lowered his primitive spear. He was deciding if he should kill her before she attacked or if he should let her swing first when he saw her lunge forward. She was fast, for a mortal, but he was by far faster than she. He stepped into her lunge with his shield and swung it outward catching her bodily and smashing her into the wall. He could hear her ribs make a sickening wet crunch and they broke between his shield and the wall.

Stepping back, he resumed his position with his shield to his side and his spear resting on the ground and held upright. He stood unmoving only turning his eyes to look down upon the broken woman. The horror and shock were painted clearly on her face. He stood silently watching as her life ebbed away. Then he stared down the hall again until all turned dark for him.

When he next awoke, he looked to the wall on his left, the leather had near completely rotted away. He sighed; he had slept quite long it seemed. Looking down the hall he could see four figures approaching with torches. These wore metal armor. He took in the design, it was smooth and rounded, not like his wood armor.

He remembered hearing the legends. A warrior strong enough could enter the hall of the True and ascend to godhood. He made this journey just like the people coming down the hall. He faced the guardian, just as these people will have to. He had wooden plates crafted from a terrible beast he had slain fashioned into armor to protect his flesh from the claws of the guardian.

He stirred and shook off the dust that had gathered as he slept. Looking at the four as they approached, his voice boomed out from his ancient wooden helmet “Leave mortals, you will not find what you seek here.”

Watching him ‘come to life’ the four paused and when he had spoken, they halted and spoke to one another. The four readied their swords and slowly approached.

He had grown, he was hardly ‘human’ anymore, ‘giant’ may be a more accurate description. Bringing his shield around and lowering his spear, the guardian did not attempt to close on the people closing on him. He watched them through the slits in his helmet, a small nick caught his attention for a moment. The four moved to surround him. He sighs inwardly, he could feel where they were, every step they took. He waited hoping they would see the hopelessness of the situation and leave. Seconds passed in stillness as they chose their positions around him. Naturally, the one at his back was the first to strike, he lifted his left leg to intercept the blade with the wood that protected his calf. As the sword bit into the wood, he brought the bottom of the spear around and struck the man cleanly in the chest creasing his breastplate and throwing him into the wall. As if a signal had been given the other three rush in swords high. He swung out his shield pinning one to the wall and lashed out with his spear impaling another. As the one in front of him closed he brought his right leg around and kicked the man into the wall.

He flung the impaled man from his spear and stepped back to his guard position. Slowly he moved his shield to his side and brought his spear to its resting position as he watched the one he had kicked struggle to rise to his feet. The battered man crawled to his nearest friend and crumbled on top of him weeping. The guardian's heart went out to him, but this was for the best. Quietly he watched as the man called to his other friends then slowly began crawling out of the hall. Once the man was far enough the guardian could feel the darkness coming for him again, he prayed the man could crawl to safety and never return.

Ages passed, mortals came, and new and different weapons and armor piled around the hall. Twice he saw mortals return with old-style weapons, none so ancient as his spear. But for all the ages of man, the guardian stood and killed.

When next he awoke the hall was more a cave, little remained of the thousands who had come for godhood. His eyes opened, nothing, there was nothing. He strained his eyes; he had seen generations of mortals hide with different magics. He felt with his feet, but there was nothing, nothing moved. He remained unmoving, reaching out with his senses, but it was empty. He stirred and broke the thin layer of stone that had formed around him. Slowly he stretched and stared he could see no mortal. He turned and checked the Door he had guarded for so many centuries. To his horror, it was rotted and broken. Had he failed? Did someone enter? Looking through a missing portion of the Door he saw dirt. There was nothing behind the Door! How had this happened? He had once walked through the Door after he slew the guardian. The memory was painful to recall. He tore the Door open to see more dirt and nothing more. A voice came from behind him. The guardian snatched his spear and whirled on the voice ready to protect the Door, which was now no more.

“Take ease Hro. Your vigil is over. The Door has been moved, and a new guardian has taken your place.” The voice was legion, but it came from a familiar face, his son. The reason he had sought the Door from the first.

Hro, the ancient guardian stood silent looking into the glowing eyes of his child. The being before him was ancient, was from a time Hro could barely recall and humanity had certainly forgotten. To Hro however, this was his son and the god of our world. His voice was a small thing for such an imposing man. “Hrodaugh, what do you mean? Have I failed you?”

The God child spoke with its legion of voices again “No, Hro, you have not failed, I remain, and the Door is still sealed. However, your time as Guardian is over, there is a new Guardian. It is more powerful than you could ever be, it will serve to protect the Door from now on. Goodbye, Hro. You served well.”

Suddenly the divine being vanished as if it had never been there. The hall began to vibrate, then shake violently. Hro crouched under his shield and weathered the torrent of stone that fell around him. When the tremors finally subsided Hro struggled to free himself from the debris. Hro unburied the door and placed it back on its hinges. He looked around himself, he was sealed miles underground, at least it was miles when he had made the journey. Hro cleared his ancient post and took up his position surrounded by the crumbled ruin of his time-honored charge. A tear escaped his helmet before he finally found the darkness.

It felt strange, normally when he had awoken everything was clear and he was alert. Hro struggled to remember this sensation from his time as a mortal man, what was the word for it? Everything was hazy. That’s what it was called, he was groggy. A strange feeling indeed. ‘My mind is going.’ He thought as he looked at light peeking through the rocks before him. The deafening sound and intense vibrations he felt were odd as well. Hro stood stoic as a gargantuan metal spike broke through the rubble before him.

His voice boomed out like a peel of thunder “Turn back mortal, you will not find what you seek here.” His heart ached knowing the truth of his words, so true were they that he didn’t know why he bothered to speak them. He could hear a commotion behind the metal spike pointed at him.

The object pulled back out of the hole it had made. Hro was a bit surprised by this, he had no idea how he would have fended off such a large weapon. Then more shocking a human climbed into the hole. How had such a small person wielded such a massive weapon?

“Hello?” The voice belonged to a woman. She climbed down to the floor and looked around the ruin where Hro stood. “What is this place?” she seemed to say to herself then she called out again “Is there someone here? We heard a voice.”

The light swung over Hro several times, but the woman did not acknowledge him. She approached, and Hro spoke again, “Come no closer mortal.”

The woman nearly dropped her light in shock and looked around wildly before the light finally stopped on Hro. “Who said that? Show yourself, this isn’t funny!” Hro stared at the woman, her light was on him, but she spoke as if she couldn’t see him. 

The woman gathered her courage and approached Hro. “I said come out! We nearly killed you! We need to get you out of here.” As she finished speaking her eyes slowly went up to Hros's helmet and her hand touched his shield.

Hro strained and pressed out against the layer of stone that had formed around him. As a growl crawled out of his throat the stone cracked and began falling away from his form. Hro stood looking down at the woman who had stumbled back and fallen. His eyes locked on hers. “The Door is not here Mortal.”

The woman couldn’t believe her eyes, a statue just came to life and was talking to her, only then did she notice the rotted remains of a blue wooden door against the back of the small cave. “Door? I don’t understand, what door?” She pointed behind Hro “That door? Are you protecting that door?”

A few men enter the hole armed with sledgehammers pickaxes and crowbars. Hro brings his shield around in front of himself and readies his spear. The woman looks up and waves for the men to stop “Wait, wait wait, hold on, it’s ok! He’s “she pauses and looks confused for a second “He’s not dangerous, I think.”

The group of men look at Hro and then down at the woman, “Did he hurt you?” one of them asks as they all strain their eyes to make out Hro in the dark.

She stands up keeping one hand out toward Hro “No, no, he just startled me.” The woman moved between the men and Hro and brought the light up to look him in the face. Only then did the humans in the room start to grasp the size of the creature before them. “It’s okay, we’re not here to fight. Um, I’m Elise. Who or what are you?”

Unmoving Hro looked each of the humans over, they alone were no threat. “I am the Guardian.” Hro paused as a flash of his meeting with his son came to his mind and he was stung by the reality that he was not the Guardian. “I was the Guardian.”

Elise pointed her flashlight at the door behind Hro. “The Guardian of that door, right? Well, we don’t want to touch your door, I swear. We were drilling for a mineral near here. Okay? So, we don’t mean any harm.

Mineral? A word Hro didn’t know. “What is ‘mineral’?”

Elise exchanged looks with a few of the workers before one of them spoke up. “A mineral is a rock. Like granite, or quartz.” Quartz, this Hro recognized.

One of the workers nudged Elise and nodded to the stone laying around Hro's feet. “Look at that stuff, what is that?”

Elise stepped toward Hro before one of the workers grabbed her and pulled her back when Hro lowered his stance. She looked indignantly at him at first before realizing he may have saved her life. Elise turns to Hro “Excuse me, but can I have some of that stone at your feet?”

Hros eyes flick down to the remnant of the stone that had encased him. He kicked a chunk of the rock over to the group. “Leave this place mortal, and do not return.” That said Hro took a sliding step toward the people. Elise quickly squats down and grabbed the rock before the group ran out of the hole.

Hro returned to his resting position. He stood staring out the hole as the sun set and night came. He was unmoving as the sun rose and hung high in the air. Mortals came and peeked in, but no one entered the hole where he stood. Hro was becoming agitated, why was he not sleeping? The mortals had no designs on returning, they made no move to enter. Why then could he not rest? Night came again. Hro had become restless. Looking back his eyes fell upon the dilapidated Door. His heart hurt, and then he found his answer. He could not rest, because he was not the Guardian. Hro walked to the Door and reached out to take it in hand, but it crumbled away to rotten splinters at his touch. Hro was sad, angry, and confused. He felt a great many things he had chosen not to feel for eons.

For just an instant Hro looked around and he could see each of the noble, or otherwise, warriors who walked the hall and faced him, last he saw himself, as a mortal man, setting his dying son against the wall of the ancient hall. Readying his shield and spear, checking his wood armor, and then charging the Guardian of old. Then he was back in the now. Now the father and tribal warrior Hro stood in a hole, forgotten, and deemed unworthy to stand as Guardian. Hro, who had stood through all the ages of man. Hro, who had defended the Door since before ages now forgotten. Hro could no longer accept this. If this new Guardian was truly worthy then Hro could rest finally, but if it wasn’t Hro would kill it and take his rightful place as the Guardian.

Hro turned toward the hole the mortals had dug, and a new resolve slowly poured into him. He walked the long, strange tunnel up for nearly an hour before reaching the exit. 

He could not recall fresh air, but this didn’t seem right. Looking around he could see the spike that had bored into his hole. Looking up Hro beheld the evening sky for the first time since losing his mortality. Walking out of the tunnel he felt the urge to stretch and looked around. Nothing was familiar on the ground. He was in some gigantic hole in the ground, there were a few paths leading out and several strange maybe animals in groups around the hole. Everything around him smelled odd.

Posted Mar 23, 2023
Share:

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

7 likes 2 comments

03:35 Mar 26, 2023

That was a fabulous story! No shit, fabulous. It drew me in, the concept was enticing - I'm thinking, "Okay, bit a of a Dungeons and Dragons thing going. I wonder what he's going to do with that?" And the old feller is clearly old, and perhaps losing his marbles a bit, but still the biggest strongest dog. And how does that move on? - With both a very enticing intro to his son - bit of back-story, (would've like more, word-limit permitting) - and a bumping forward into the modern era. "Woah, okay, I wonder how he reacts to this?!" And then you get one of those cliffhanger, "Aaah, we didn't quite see what happens next, but I bet its cool!" endings, like at the end of the movie Cube. Frustrating in a way - but you allow it because of how apropos it is :-)
Melding an old-fashioned not-quite-real-world D'n'D theme into a modern setting? Genius! Great characters and story development. Awesome stuff. I do have a few notes, but the big takeaway for you is - this is an excellent story.

"‘Not long at all.’ He thought. Turning his attention back to the woman who woke him. “Turn back. No mortal may pass.” He watched as the woman continued walking toward him."

--A couple of things here. I feel you should run the, "He thought," into the next sentence, and that bit seems to need to flow into the next sentence too. Would you consider re-writing like this: "'Not long at all,' he thought, turning his attention back to the woman who'd woken him." One other thing I'd consider here is the other edit I just made - changing, "...the woman who woke him," to, "...the woman who'd woken him." And, finally, you're carrying on the speech of the guy who's just been talking and sharing his thoughts with us, so it's fine that you carry the speech on in the same line. But I'm wondering whether - due to the fact the words immediately before him saying, "Turn back..." are, "...the woman who woke him." perhaps you'd consider changing the next bit of speech to make it super-obvious who's talking? Perhaps you might end up with something like this:
"'Not long at all,' he thought. Turning his attention back to the woman who'd woken him, he said in a chilling yet commanding tone, "Turn back. No mortal may pass."" [I undid my running-the-"He-thought"-bit-on-into-the-next-sentence there because I made his turning-back-to-her action part of his addressing-her action.] There are multiple ways you could structure this. I'm just suggesting a couple of wee edits for clarity. No biggie, you could leave as-is if you wanted.
__________

"She wore plates of hardened leather and carried a thin blade. She looked lithe and athletic and walked with predatory confidence. “My name is Tessa and I’ve come to claim my rightful place as a goddess! You killed my grandfather, now you will die guardian.” She announced boldly."

--This is excellent. You give us the physical appearance of the person, (surprising how useful this is. I overlook doing this in most of my stories and then kick myself later.) Also a name, and a purpose/reason she's here. There are soooo many stories here where these crucial details are lacking, and not only are they not lacking here, but they're given up-front! Excellent. My only suggestion here would be a comma after "die," and to run the speech into the next bit - which is a description of how the speech was said, so would make sense. I.e., ""...now you will die, guardian," she announced boldly."
__________

"He sighs inwardly, he could feel where they were, every step they took."

--This story is told in the past tense. Let's keep it that way :-) "He sighed inwardly. He could feel where they were, and every step they took." Funny, for once I'm recommending that you break the content up into more sentences instead of running sentences on into each other. I guess I just felt that "sigh" as a pause longer than the pause given by a comma. You could even break it down further, for effect if you wanted: "He sighed inwardly. He could feel where they were. Every step they took. Every nuance in stance as they gathered themselves..."
__________

"As if a signal had been given the other three rush in swords high..."

--Again, I feel we need a couple of extra commas, and that you should keep the storytelling in the same tense: "As if a signal had been given, the other three rushed in, swords high..."
__________

--There are a few other places where you lapse into the present tense. You wanna keep it all in the past tense. The only exception to this that I can think of right now would be in speech, for example:

Bob walked home from work slowly. As he did every day, he picked up some litter outside the fast-food place, and put it in the street-bin. "Are my eyes deceiving me, Mr Discarded Fries-Bag," he said, "Or are you the same Fries-Bag I put in the bin yesterday?" He put the item in the bin, and moved onward a couple of steps. Suddenly he swung around, "I'll see you tomorrow I guess," Bob grinned, his eyes rolling with resigned exasperation.

The story is in the past tense: he "walked," he's not described as, "he is walking." He "picked up," i.e. he's not described as, "he picks up." Yet in his speech he speaks in the present tense, "Are my eyes...," not, "Did my eyes." And later he's even in the future tense, "I'll see you..." not, "I see you," or, "I saw you." But this is all okay, because it was appropriate to his situation at the time, and the narrator is merely reporting what was said. At the end of that little story the narrator, not Bob in speech, says, "Bob grinned, his eyes rolling with..." "Grinned" is past tense. And I, the narrator, could have carried on the obviously-past-tense thing by continuing with, "Bob grinned, and his eyes rolled with..." But I had his eyes, "rolling." That could be past or present tense: eyes were rolling, eyes are rolling... but it was more appropriate, in that situation, to say, "...his eyes rolling with..." because that way you're connecting the action of rolling his eyes with his action of grinning in a more immediate way - sure he may have been grinning about having to pick up the same bit of litter twice, but you could tell he was only grinning in a resigned way because a) "...his eyes rolling..." was connected to the grin by that sort of sentence structure, and b) I said it was, "with resigned exasperation," right afterwards.

Reply

Emory Tales
04:10 Mar 26, 2023

So many notes and directions for improvement as well, thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to help me improve. You really do have a gift with words.

Fair warning, when I post the actual Hro story there's a fair amount more and a minor difference for the opening, I had to edit a little for the entry.

Thank you for the advice, I'll do my best to keep it in mind moving forward! So for now I'll work on minding my tenses and >.> commas (My grammar is horrid.)

Reply