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Fiction Funny Kids

There once was a boy named young Bobby Brown, he lived in a shack on the outskirts of town. He lived with a bird and also a dog, he lived with a mouse and a big friendly hog. He had no neighbours and I'll tell you why, his farts were so smelly they made people cry. As well as a rather stinky behind, employment for Bobby was too hard to find.


Poor Bobby meant well but he wasn't so bright, every job he attempted he couldn't do right. Old farmer Macbernum once gave him a job to shear all the sheep but Bobby sheared all the dogs. " Git off me property!!' The old farmer did shout " Me dogs no longer look canine, so begone git out!!".


Sure Bobby was smelly and just a tad daft, yet he had a heart of gold and made people laugh. So Mrs Driedsdale then gave him the task of mowing her lawn that had too much long grass. Bobby mowed, he mowed for hours but in that time he had mowed up all her flowers. " You've ruined my garden!!" The widow did vent, "Get off my property, you ain't getting a cent!!" Poor Bobby felt sad that he ruined her garden, he even sent her a letter begging her pardon, all was forgiven for he truly meant well even though he was slow and his bottom did smell.


So Dairy farmer Dennis gave him the task to milk all his cows and then return them to the grass. Bobby milked the heifers until his hands ached but he realised he had made a great big mistake. He had forgotten to squirt all the milk in a pail, so the ground absorbed it all, a big epic fail. Farmer Dennis as expected got mad " You daft great balooth, I hope you feel bad. Now shoo I say scram no more jobs for you and go to the toilet your pants smell like poo!!".


Next Bobby got work at the local Cafe, his job was to take orders and make chocolate frappes and lattes and milkshakes or whatever they wished yet within twenty minutes the manager hissed "How did you manage to break the coffee machine, get out to the back and get yourself clean, you're covered in milk and your farts make me sick, get out the back before a customer sees you, quick!!!!"


Bobby cleaned the frothy white milk from his shirt and tears stung his eyes as he felt really hurt, he was given a chance to just stick out the back doing the dishes but he couldn't even do that. His fingers turned to butter and no matter how much he tried he just couldn't seem to have luck on his side. The dishes slipped from his fingers and with a clang and a smash fell to the floor, he was fired without cash.


Defeated Bobby Brown trudged home, feeling a failure and oh so alone. In his tiny shack he fell into a slump with his animal companions and his loud smelly rump. Yet the Villagers got together and had a meeting one night about what job to give Bobby for the lad was alright.

" I know what he can do!!" bellowed Officer Heart, " He can stand with the Scarecrows, just stand there and fart!!. The scarecrows will scare the birds from the corn but the rodents will skurry when they smell Bobby's bum horn. I tell ya it's gold, let's give him a go, it's such an easy job it won't matter that he's slow!!!"


The very next day Bobby started the task, where the only requirement was to have a smelly arse. He stood in the corn field and relaxed with a book and farted so much that the earth almost shook. Moles ran away, field mice did scurry, the rancid smell made them leave in a hurry. His farts were so rotten they kept rodents away from the precious crops for a whole day.


Bobby excelled so much out in the field so many good quality crops there were to yield. The Villagers held a big party in the centre of town to celebrate the achievements of Young Bobby Brown. They ate hearty beef stew and corn on the cob and all congratulated Bobby on doing such a great job.


Bobby got other job offers and the Village ate well, so many good quality fruits and veggies to sell. Bobby though wanted more to do with his time than scare rodents away with his farty behind. So he asked for tuition to improve all his life skills, so he could land a decent respectful job that would pay all the bills. With his newfound self esteem he started to thrive and learnt many things to help him survive.


He sheared all the sheep and when that was complete he mowed all the grass that stood at ten feet. He milked all the cows and used a bucket this time and the milk was then sold so creamy and fine. He helped out at the Cafe and made many chocolate frappes, coffees and milkshakes and vanilla lattes. He did all the dishes and still had time to mop, then into the next cafe job he would hop. He ended up the hardest young worker around and was never without a job and at night he slept sound.


Young Bobby Brown became addicted to learning as many skills as possible, he had a great yearning. So he jumped at every opportunity he could get and by the time he was thirty he was all set. He had saved up his money and bought a new house for his dog and his hog and his bird and his mouse. He had bought a new car and even learnt to drive, he invested in honey and bought bee hives. His product sold well and he lived off the wealth " Bobbys organic golden honey" was sold from the shelves.


The locals they loved it and the news did spread that Bobby's organic golden honey was so tasty on bread. Everyone and their child wanted a taste so the honey then travelled all over the place. His riches they grew yet he never grew a big head, he remembered how he used to be so had humility instead. He was a young man with a good kind heart so nobody was too bothered when he did a smelly fart.

So now you know the story of young Bobby Brown who had a dream to turn his life around. He never gave up and jumped at the chance, to start with his only skill of farting in his pants and then he moved on to bigger and greater things, his honey is so sweet I've heard it makes your tastebuds sing. Don't give up on your dreams no matter what they are. Embrace your talents and you will go far. If you don't have any talents of so to speak, keep trying new things and new skills you will seek.

April 10, 2023 08:44

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9 comments

Hilary R. Glick
13:45 Apr 20, 2023

Hi Amy! This was a really fun, light-hearted, and unexpected read. I love that you chose to tell this story like a children's nursery rhyme, and I'm always a sucker for a good fart joke! LOL! Had me laughing out loud and somehow through it all, you managed to pull a nice moral of the story from it! Thanks for the laughs and the read!

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Amy May
15:22 Apr 20, 2023

Awwww thank you so much, I really needed to read this comment tonight because i was feeling so down and you cheered me up. 🤗🥰 You're very welcome!

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Hilary R. Glick
18:09 Apr 20, 2023

Yes!! I already shared it with a few of my friends too who shared with their kids and we have all had a great laugh about the jokes and the rhymes. Really brightened my day!

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Amy May
19:22 Apr 20, 2023

Oh thank you for the comment and I'm glad your friends and their kids laughed. That was so sweet of you to share it ❤

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17:24 Apr 18, 2023

Amy, this was hilarious! I am a Children’s Librarian, and I can tell you, my kiddos at story time would love this little tale of yours. Bobby is a delightful character, and I love that you wrote it in rhyme. A fun rendering on the prompt! Good job!

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Amy May
17:43 Apr 18, 2023

Oh wow, thank you so much for your kind words Hannah 🙂 I have quite a few kids stories I've written and this one was such fun. I would love to publish kids books someday. A children's librarian sounds such a rewarding job, seeing their little faces light up 😍

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J. D. Lair
22:11 Apr 10, 2023

This one was really fun to read! The cadence reminded me of the Bernstein Bears stories I grew up reading. :)

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Amy May
04:11 Apr 11, 2023

I vaguely remember the Bernstein Bears 🐻 As a kid I absolutely ADORED little golden books. One of my all time favourites was The tawny scrawny Lion 🦁. Thank you and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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J. D. Lair
21:26 Apr 11, 2023

Anytime!

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