DING, DONG!
I strolled over to the front door and peered through the window to see who was there. An oddly dressed man stood on my welcome mat. Yes, oddly dressed are the perfect words defining this man’s appearance; he wore a fancy shirt and vest with a tie with workout shorts and tennis shoes, and half of his hair was combed and slicked back while the other half was tangled and shaggy.
Nonetheless, I opened the door to greet him.
“Hello,” I smiled, “how may I help you?”
His voice was raspy, and I detected an unfamiliar accent. “I need a place to stay.”
Now that was not the answer I expected. It was not very often that someone asked to stay at my house! “Oh, are you homeless?”
“No.”
“Are you alone?” I inquired, trying to gain some information before I welcomed him in.
“Yes.”
“Do you need some food and water? Or are you just needing a place to sleep for the night?” I queried.
He shrugged. “I guess some vittles would be nice.”
“Do you need a place to sleep?”
“Yes.”
“For the night?”
“No, longer.”
“How long?” I was curious now.
He shrugged again. “Maybe a couple of days.”
“Where are you coming from?” I still needed more information.
“Nebraska.”
“Pardon me for prying, but do we not live in Nebraska?” This man did not make sense to me!
“We do.”
“So then you hail from here?”
“I suppose so.”
“Well then, where are you headed?”
“Nebraska.”
What? “If you are from here and you’re going here, then why do you need to stay at my house?”
“I told you; I need to get to Nebraska.”
“Oh, do you mean a different city?”
“Yeah.”
“Is it close?”
He shook his head.
“Um, all right, I suppose you could stay the night.”
“Can I stay more than one night?”
“Well, shouldn’t you be going where you need to go?”
“Nah, I’m just lookin’ for a job; it’s nothing urgent. ‘Sides, I could use some rest.”
“But didn’t you start from-” I didn’t even bother. “Never mind.”
Should I trust this confusing man?
“Are you the only one who lives here?” It was his turn to ask a question, and I thought that was fair, so I answered.
“No, I share the place with a few of my colleagues.”
“You look young to be working already.”
How rude! Twenty-two was not that young! I didn’t reply.
“Say, are your colleagues here right now?”
I hesitated. “No, they’re away.”
“For a while?”
I shook my head. “Only until, oh, never mind.”
“Come on,” he insisted, “you can tell me.”
“They will be gone for a short period of time.”
“Well, then let me stay. You must have plenty of room.”
“How much will you pay me? After all, you want me to give you food and shelter. I must ask for payment,” I said.
“Oh, well, I wasn’t planning on giving away any money.” He scratched his chin.
“Then I’m sorry, but you will have to leave.”
“No, no, no, I’ll pay up. How much do you want?”
“How many days will you be here?” I countered.
“I suppose just a day so that your colleagues won’t be mad that I’d used one of their rooms,” he figured.
“I will be letting you stay downstairs, not in one of their rooms,” I told him.
“Okay, but still. One day. I’ll leave tomorrow at around lunchtime.”
“Fine.” I nodded. “So then you’d like three meals I suppose? One for lunch today, one for dinner, and one for breakfast?”
“Yes.”
“And will you be using any electricity or water?”
“Uh, yes, I suppose so.”
“Okay, that will be two-hundred dollars.”
“Two-hundred?!”
“Yes, sir.”
“Gee, I don’t think I can afford that.”
Yes, my plan worked! “Oh, then I’m afraid you’ll have to leave.”
“No, no, no, I’ll stay. Here.”
He handed me two hundred dollar bills.
That seemed strange to me; who has two hundred dollar bills in their pocket?
Not like this wasn’t already weird or anything, but I was very suspicious about this man.
“One more question before I show you where you may be,” I stated.
“Yes?”
“What is your name?”
“Dexter.”
“Dexter what?”
He did not reply.
“Let me just put the money you gave me away, and then I will show you where you will be.”
I let him inside and closed the door behind him. Then, I hurried into the kitchen and put the money into our cookie jar which wasn’t full of cookies, but rather our cash.
“Okay,” I said, “let’s go down now.”
He nodded.
I turned the light on for the stairs and led the way. When we reached the bottom of the flight, I turned on the light for the basement.
“The bathroom is straight ahead, and the guest room is to your right. I will bring you dinner at 5:30.”
“Thanks.”
I turned to go, but something caught my eye. As Dexter took off his vest, I noticed that attached to his belt was a satchel. I couldn’t help but wonder what it was for.
“Is there anything else? Because if not, I would like some time to myself.” His voice sounded abrupt, so I shook my head.
“No, I’ll be going now.”
I climbed back up the stairs until I reached the kitchen again.
Suddenly, I wasn’t feeling so good. In the pit of my stomach, I felt that I’d made a big mistake. Was it that I let Dexter in? Or perhaps that I’d given him information? Whatever it was, I didn’t feel right about it.
This feeling continued to concern me all the way until bedtime and through the night.
********
In the morning, my alarm woke me up. It was 8:00.
I yawned and stretched. I did my morning chores—got dressed, brushed my teeth, made my bed, and went downstairs. I found Dexter in the kitchen, sitting there.
“Oh, good morning,” I said, a little bit surprised that he was up that early.
He nodded at me.
“Um, so I usually don’t do anything fancy for breakfast, so you can just get a bowl of cereal or a yogurt or bagel or something. You know, just whatever.”
“Thanks.”
“Did you sleep all right?”
He nodded.
“Was dinner fine?”
He nodded again.
“Spaghetti is one of my favorites, and I thought you’d like it too.”
“It was good.”
“I was intending to make you a sandwich and some vegetables for you as a pack lunch. Is that all right?”
“Yes, that should be easy enough to eat on my way.”
The feeling was back again. In the pit of my stomach, I sensed that something terrible was about to transpire, but I couldn’t figure out what!
“Could you make my lunch now so that I can just head out whenever I want?”
“Oh,” I was surprised, “sure, if that’s what you want.”
“It is. Thanks.”
He grabbed a bagel and a banana for breakfast and the sandwich and bag of vegetables for lunch and headed back downstairs.
I shook my head. That man was odd!
I went to the stairs of our front yard and found the newspaper sitting there. I took it inside and started reading.
To my surprise, I saw a headline that caught my attention!
THEIF ON THE LOOSE. FIRST NAME DEXTER LAST NAME DEXTER. ODDLY DRESSED, PARTLY PRO-LIKE, PARTLY COMMON. LAST SEEN ROBBING A BANK IN NEBRASKA. PROBABLY STILL IN THE AREA. IF LOCATED, NOTIFY THE LOCAL POLICE.
Oh, my goodness! That was definitely the man I’d just let into my house!
I heard the doorbell ring again and was overjoyed that it was my colleagues.
I filled them in on everything, and they were equally worried.
“Hey, is that him down there?” One of my colleagues pointed to the bottom of the stairs by the garage.
It was! “Yes! What on earth is he doing?”
It suddenly hit me! I’d showed him where we kept our money!
I darted into the kitchen and opened the cookie jar; it was empty!
“He’s stolen all our cash! We have to stop him!” I cried.
We all streaked out the door and ran to catch up with him.
While my colleagues caught him by surprise and grabbed onto his arms so that he wouldn’t escape, I let my anger pour out.
“You just wanted to stay at our house to rob us! You took all our cash, and we want it back! And, we will notify the police that we’ve caught the thief called Dexter Dexter!”
He hung his head as we pushed him into the car and drove to the police station.
The officers took care of him then and thanked us for catching the criminal.
I exclaimed, “No problem, Sheriff. And let’s just call that a lesson learned: I will never again let a mysterious stranger into my house!”
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1 comment
Shut the fuck up
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