A never proposed proposal

Sam's luck in love was never with him.. it won't be wrong to say that timings have always been against him.. he was a not too handsome- not too charming guy , that always restrained him to express his feelings easily to the opposite side.. Also his first love experience was also terrible.. he had his first love when he was in his 10th standard.. before that fantisizing was the only thing that he was upto... But that was may be the first time he was actually wanting to be his fantasys to be real... May be teenage is that time when you had those kind of feelings which you can't describe but only wish to be true.. but the day he decided to tell the girl it was found that she was already dating someone in the same school... Somehow it broke Sam's believe in love... Many tried to understand him that it was an infatuation , he will get over it soon, but after that he always tried to avoid such situations.. but there is a say that we can't deny which has already been destined. Same which happened to Sam too.. It was his first day in highschool when he met,Emily.. she was breathtakingly beautiful and Sam couldn't take his eyes off from her.. he knew nothing about the girl, but the way his heart was racing that was truly a new feeling to him.. he didn't know what love is but may be he was about to know.. As said earlier it was pre-destined so their friendship didn't take much time to get stronger.. Sam came to know alot about Emily, about her family,her livings, hobbies but one thing that kept him worrying was her sudden absences from school... everytime Sam asked her about the reasons ,she used to come up with some random excuses, which were very disbelieving to Sam.. it was during summer vacation when they came close.. they used to go to picnics where Emily would make Sam's favourite Chan burger, they even did fishing.. someday they would just ran away from home at night and spend their nights in the garden under the moon.. someday they would just do paintings... Sam was never good in painting nor he was interested but he did all these things just to be with her . Just to spend more and more time with her.. Emily also loved Sam's company. She even used to cancel her girly outings so that they could be together.. Gradually Sam realised that his feelings for her were getting stronger, he is being more caring , possessive to her.. at the same he also felt that Emily also have some sort of soft corner for him.. but somehow they both remained silent about their feelings until the day Sam decided to confess to her... It was 11th of August.. everything was beautiful about the day except the ending.. Sam was way more than happy, even did a booking in Emily's favorite Cafe.. he even asked her to wear her favorite red dress... and also dreamt all day how beautiful she would look wearing that dress...everything was so good.. until he had a call from Emily's house.. that call ended everything.. every dream, desire... Emily had been admitted in a hospital, she had fighting with tumor since last year.. Sam couldn't believe his ears and ran to see her.. but it was too late.. she was already gone.. he didn't even got the last chance to express his feelings, to love her even to tell her his feelings...later that night Emily's mother handed over a diary of her.. which made him more weak. Every page of the diary had their stories.. she wrote everything that they did together and how special that made her feel.... Even it was written that she loved Sam too... But as she know her future she chose to stay silent... Now 2years later standing in front of Emily's gravestone Sam was re-living his past... It is the same 11th of August, and it is the same him who still love Emily the same way he loved her 2years back... He didn't have any regret that his love was unrequited but one thing he wish to just tell her how much he loved her ... How much she mean to him.. how only because of her Sam started believing in love.. but may be this was what was supposed to happen ... Something to which humans have no control.. something Sam could never stopped....Maybe this was supposed to be a never proposed proposal...

In our generation Proposals have many definitions... Many of us want to propose our real life crush, our reel life crush... There is also alot of conditions to love someone.. even if we get into a relationship we give them conditions, we basically make a deal where even at some point we try to change the person entirely just like how we want them to be.. the main thing is we expect .. we expect to be loved by the same as we do... We expect to be undersood... We expect to be pampered... More over we expect to be accepted by our loved ones... But there is only few people who can love selflessly .. without having any expectations.. same happened with Sam too. .. May be because of this same reason he was unsuccessful in his first love.. because he expected to get his love back.. he too can had a good ending ... He too could get love back from Emily.. or may be he could have easily moved on.... Without thinking about his past... But he chose to hold back.. he chose to stay with his past.. may be this is what love his .. it is about to give love without expecting.. may be with out expressing in words we actually express alot .. may be without rushing into a relationship we can be practical with it. May be love is not meant to be all about acceptance or all proposals are not meant to be proposed...