A MIRROR IMAGE

It was with great difficulty that I stopped myself skipping along the pavement as I made my way to work that morning. The sun was shining, the rubbish had been taken away the the streets washed ready for another scorching day. My jollity must have been catching, because the normally morose people I met on my daily pilgrimage returned my smiles. To my great surprise one or two actually said 'Good morning.'. I was quite elated, over night the solution to a problem that had eluded me for weeks, had manifested itself. Back to basics! The original ideas had been misplaced. The whole project would now be simple if we started. I stopped. My jollity evaporated. I couldn't, I wouldn't believe it. He was dead.

His face changed when he recognised me. He looked as if he'd seen a ghost. What right did he have to look like that? I'm the one who's seeing a ghost. Am I being haunted? I've done nothing wrong. He was trying to kill me when I shot him. “You were killing me” I said to him. He said nothing. I turned away, I was confused. I definitely shot him. I turned back to tell him he was dead, but he wasn't there. Panic seized me “He's dead I muttered”, “He is dead”, “he's dead” I said in louder and louder tones. A group of fellow pilgrims surrounded me. “Take it easy son.” said one old man “There's no-one here.”. “He needs help said a woman. I'm calling the police.”. “He's nuts” said another,”Call an ambulance as well.” I spun round. There he was at the back of the crowd. “There he is.” I said . “he knows he's dead.” Then the police came.

“You'd better come with me.” said the policeman “If you've killed someone we'd better get you off the street” I couldn't argue. That was sense. They put me in a car and drove to the police station. They all had worried looks on their faces and they were walking on eggshells when they spoke to me. They emptied my pockets and took my shoe laces. Then they put me in a room on my own. The lighting was good but there were no windows. So I sat there for what seemed like hours then a heavy set man entered the room. “Mr. Dawson.” he asked, I nodded “We have had a time of it checking you out, but as far as we can see you have not committed any crimes. Unless you consider the fracas you caused this morning as wasting police time. We are not pressing charges for that” I just sat there, then I said “But I killed him”. “As far as we can tell you have killed no-one. We know you were in hospital two years ago and I have spoken to the Specialist who treated you and he would like to see you again. I've got a car to take you to the hospital as I don't feel you will be safe on the street.”.

When we reached the hospital the policeman with me told me to stay where I was and went into the hospital. Half an hour later he reappeared with another man in a brown sports jacket and sandals. “Hello Jim” he said “It's still OK for me to call you Jim?” his voice raised to ask the question. I told him it was fine, but I had to ask if I knew him. “I hope so, two years ago we spent a fair amount of time together, but it seems that it was not enough” he replied. That sounded ominous to me. “Come on into my office and we'll see if we can sort this out.” he invited. I looked at the policeman and it didn't seem that no would be an acceptable answer, so I got out of the car and followed him towards the hospital . There were big glass doors and behind them I saw the ghost again. “There he is. What is this? He's dead. I shot him.” I almost shouted. I felt the policeman's hand on my shoulder “Steady. Take it easy Sir” I heard the words but a ran through the doors into the hospital, but he'd disappeared again. The man in the jacket and sandals caught up with me, “Come on Jim we'll go to my office and have a cup of tea.” “We'll take the stairs, I think” he said in a pensive sort of tone. He turned to the policeman “Thank you.” he said “I'll look after him now.”

In the office I had a cup of tea, and a few biscuits. I had begun to feel hungry. It was now afternoon and nothing had passed my lips since I left home this morning. I began to relax. Slowly I started to realise that I'd been in this room before. My head started to ache and I slowly realised that brown jacket and sandals was a Doctor. “Right Jim” he said “Tell me what's going on” . So I told him about being stalked by a bloke I knew to be dead. Sitting here in this office with a cup of tea it even sounded ridiculous to me, but it was a fact, I had killed him and he seemed to be alive, very alive. Then he asked “Jim do you remember being here before?” “Vaguely” I said “If I've been treated here , what was it for?”. He looked puzzled “You really don't know, do you? Then I'd better tell you.”

“Two years ago you tried to kill yourself.” I was aghast. Before I could say anything he raised his hand to stop my outrage. “ There is scar tissue on the top right of your forehead .” he was right I could feel it. I didn't know it was there. I mean I don't go overboard on myself. I wash, shave, shower and get haircuts but I don't preen. I suppose I just take myself for granted. “If you are so clever I asked what happened to me?” Then he told me “You had been having a rough time at work. Some problem you just couldn't solve. For moths you had been puzzling over it getting more and more worn down and frustrated until you couldn't take any more. How you got hold of a gun I don't know, but you did. You took it home and in your bathroom tried to blow your brains out. “Have you had a problem at work recently?” he asked. I had and then I proudly told him that I had solved it last night. “Ah! That explains your problem today. I think you haven't used a mirror since you left here two years ago. Have you?” I had to agree. “Are you willing to try something?” he asked. “What has that got to do with being haunted by someone I killed? “Let me fetch something from the stores and I'll show you.” he left me sitting there then he came in with a mirror. “Look into this and tell me who you see.” he more or less ordered.

I looked in the mirror and there he was the man I'd killed two years ago. “How?” I asked. “You hated yourself for not solving your problem.” he explained “So you shot yourself. What I didn't realise was that you shot yourself in front of the mirror and today when you had solved your problem You looked around for the first time in two years and saw your reflection in shop windows.”.