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Christmas Fiction Funny

Christmas Chicks

The holidays are about traditions as well as happy memories. By contrast, this Holiday season will be dramatically different because of the Covid-19 pandemic. There won't be the kind of activities Kitty created with her friends and family years past.

Kitty would meet her friends the Friday before Thanksgiving for lunch and then plan their Christmas activities, especially the shopping. They called themselves the Christmas Chicks. They all had full-time jobs with lifestyles that mirrored their successful careers. A couple of them, including Kitty, were coming up on the age of retirement but trying to wait. Most of the Christmas Chicks, including Kitty, had grown children scattered across the country. The friends adapted to each new event and situation as their families changed. The chicks spent days helping one another find just the perfect one-of-a-kind gifts at specialty stores and boutiques. The reds and bright greens of holiday lights were laced along every storefront. Hearing the bells from the corner, Santas added unmistakable merriment. A couple of times over the years, it snowed outside while they shopped. Although it was terrible to drive in, the snow seemed perfect. Many of the stores played Christmas music, and Kitty couldn't help but sing quietly to herself. All their families were supportive of the Chicks commitment to making the holidays a happy and joyous time for everyone. Every year the Chicks would also donate to a local charity. Kitty was grateful to be a part of these traditions and loved having such good friends. After all their intense shopping was completed, the Chicks would have a wild and hilarious sleepover, wrap all the presents, drink lots of good wine, and eat pizza. Their commitment to one another was strong and based on years of friendship. They created thoughtful gifts wrapped with shiny foil paper, all tied with colorful, glittery bows, making the season magical.

The year 2020 started off strangely. First, a virus was discovered in China and created a peril Kitty was unfamiliar with. Then, as the weeks went by, it became apparent the virus posed a severe threat to society at large. It was airborne and highly contagious. 

Kitty was furloughed from her full-time job. Several of her friends in the Christmas Chicks club also lost their jobs. One of the Chicks contracted Covid and almost died. This shook the Christmas Chicks to the core. Their finances changed for the worse, and the Chicks missed being with each other and giving support and love. Kitty was concerned about the health of her children and their families, and they seemed farther away now. It felt as though people were adapting by going into survival mode. They were involved in a type of battle with an invisible enemy.

Kitty and the Chicks remained connected by phone, but it became less ideal as the days turned into months. Finally, there was a bit of light at the end of a very long tunnel because a vaccine was created. Then the virus started to mutate and continued to pose a threat. The Christmas Chicks were all older and at high risk. These facts continued to create obstacles. It was still too risky to shop for gifts in person or meet for lunch at a restaurant. Some of the Chicks got vaccinated, which provided initial protection, but some refused for various reasons. Kitty felt the world had turned upside down, and few things made sense anymore. The variants of the virus kept the world and Kitty's life uncertain.

2021 was coming to an end, and Christmas was far from ordinary. The Chicks were having difficulty getting their old jobs back or finding new ones. In addition, their financial status became dramatically worse. 

Kitty shopped online for about everything she needed, even groceries. Many of the items Kitty viewed as staples became unavailable with supply chain issues. Things like cooking oil and toilet paper were scarce. So often, she would place an order online, it would be confirmed, and then find out later in an email that it was either sold out or just unavailable. 

Buying Christmas presents online was financially stressful and not much fun. It was hard not to think about how things used to be and wish for them again. Kitty's best friend from the Christmas Chicks moved to live with her grown children in North Carolina. The other Chicks were careful about leaving home and not willing to take any unnecessary chances. 

This Christmas, Kitty, the Chicks, and her family decided to forgo Christmas presents. It seemed the proper and intelligent thing to do.

Kittys days are filled with more TV and sleep than she thought possible. Yet, her children remain healthy and call her every day. She is grateful for their concern.

The day after Thanksgiving, Kitty received a huge box delivered by UPS. There was no return address. This was the most excitement Kitty had experienced since the Christmas before Covid.

Kitty carefully carried the box into her living room. This seemed strange, but it was something different in her day, and she liked that. 

She hadn't ordered anything in months. Maybe someone from the Christmas Chicks sent her something exciting. The box didn't rattle or feel like anything recognizable moving inside. Kitty actually tried to shake it like she did when she was a child shaking presents under the tree.

She called her kids and her Christmas Chicks friends and asked if they had sent her something. They all said no. Kitty still held out hope; maybe one of them was being coy. Perhaps it was that specialty-lighted Christmas village she had wanted to buy several years ago on one of the Christmas Chicks outings. The box was big enough to hold some all-new crisp linens and a matching comforter she told her daughter about seeing in a Neiman Marcus catalog.

Kitty kept thinking about what could be in the box. She didn't want to open it because secretly, she hoped it would be a welcome surprise. Perhaps her friend from North Carolina sent it, or maybe that lovely older guy from InstaCart sent her something. He was always very kind and charming when he delivered her groceries. 

Kitty decided to wait until Christmas to open it. The box inspired Kitty to feel a little of the holiday magic she knew before Covid. She was rational enough to acknowledge how ridiculous this all had become with the box, but she embraced the silliness. 

Some nights while she watched TV, she would look over at the box during the commercials. Something was inside. Something was meant just for her.

No matter how she tried to delay it, Christmas arrived. It was time to open the box, and she knew it could be joyous or disappointing. Kitty made the choice any 72-year-old woman would make in her place. She decided to be happy with whatever was so freely given to her. Kitty turned on some Christmas music and prepared to open the box.

With one careful scissored swipe across the paper spine of the box, Kitty opened the box and finally looked inside.

It was not the magical lighted Christmas village nor the Neiman Marcus comforter. It was not a hundred pieces of chocolate from the adorable InstaCart man. But, it was, as it turns out, something much for valuable.

Inside the box was a 46 roll pack of Scott 1000 single-ply toilet paper. Oh, Joy!

Kitty laughed out loud for several minutes and discovered it was an order that had been lost months ago. 

The box served its purpose. Kitty took a shower and then decided to text the InstaCart guy wishing him a Merry Christmas. 

December 04, 2021 04:13

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1 comment

Amber Fox
01:36 Dec 09, 2021

This is great! Part of it made me sad with the Covid situation and Kitty not being able to be with her friends. Then you just twist it with a hilarious ending. I felt multiple emotions while reading this.

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