Window Epiphany

Sitting by the window side and looking out at The Paradice especially at night has being my only moment of solitude and peace. The Paradice is situated inside the hell of high walls where I stay. I always resonate between these two places. In the day, I am in hell, and at night, I come to my window side to enjoy what it means to be in paradise by gazing at The Paradise. Ten years ago, when I was eight, I was brought from Togo to Nigeria to live with my Madam and her family as a help. Sissy, the woman whose name is  associated with exorbitant lifestyle, took me from mother and promise to take me to Nigeria so I could get better education and make money for my family--which consisted of my mother, whose body was a perfect reflection of abject poverty; my younger brother Tangy, who was all bony mass and white patches; and my sister, Tise, who just got weaned from breast milk as of the last time I saw her, which was the day I left Togo for Nigeria. Mother was widowed at a very young age. My father died in a car crash when Tise was just given birth to.I never got to know his person or personality. Mother suddenly became the breadwinner of the family. She worked hard until her buba started falling off her shoulders .Tanku and I were thrown out of school, so we started helping mother to sell her odds and ends by hawking around. We would hawk in the traffic, and sometimes, we would almost got hit by the vehicles. So, when Sissy came around, it was easy for her to convince my mother to allow me to go and work in Nigeria so I could earn on behalf of the family. My mother cried the day I was leaving for Nigeria--that was the last time I saw her tears for I have never seen her afterwards. Sissy took me and another girl to Nigeria and handed us over to Madam Cash, a massive figure. I never wanted to let go of Sissy's hand, but she promised to check up on me. Madam Cash was a scary figure to look at. She was resplendent and massive in her traditional attire. Three parallel tribal marks were drawn on each side of her cheek. Her voice was gruffly and almost masculine. It was she who took me to Madam.Madam and her family lives in a big mansion.She is of thin frame. Her husband is the one I call "Walking Belly" because of how protuded his tummy is. Sometimes, I envision how he makes love to his wife. They never liked me the very first time they set their eyes on me. Even their daughter, who is their only child, and my agemate, despises me. I do all sorts of chores in the house. I work from dawn to dusk. But I never get paid. I do not know if it is Sissy or Madam Cash who collect my money on my behalf without my knowledge or if Madam never pays them. Each time I ask, she berates me and sometimes, she ends up giving me severe lashes or she threatens to stop me from going to school. Walking Belly finds faults in whatever I do. He once broke a tumbler on my head and whipped me with his belt. Charity, their daughter, has been the little demon. She goes to the school that is full of the White while i attend Awekoro secondary school--the school where the classroom roofs have fallen in, where the sun beats on innocent heads during classes ,where the heavens release its vaults on us, where students show up bare-footed and where students put on patched uniforms.Charity speaks in an assent associated with the Americans. She has weak pair of eyes that are always covered in glasses.One fateful day, she burned my skin with a hot iron. 

" Eyitayo," she had called.

" Ma'am," I replied. I had been instructed by her parents to always regard her with respect by calling her " Ma'am". She threw her uniform in my face and instructed me to wash it. I ran off to get it cleaned. When it had been dry-cleaned and aired, I brought them back to the room. She was lying suprine on her bed, her head popped up with a pillow and reading her favorite book, The Fate of the Midget, when I came in with the dried uniform 

" Has it been ironed?" She asked.

" No, ma'am," I said.

" Why have you not done that?" She said, foaming in the mouth.

" Nothing," I replied.

" Don't give me that answer." A missile launched into the air hit me right in the eye. Charity's favorite book landed at my feet, all separated into pieces. She let out a scream.While I blocked my reddish watery eye with my hand, she was already up against me. One! Two! Three! Her palm collided with my cheek. She grabbed me by my dress and started scratching my body with her long nails. Giving up, she stormed into the sitting room to report me to her parents. Walking Belly flogged me before ordering me to iron the uniform.

Then the worse happened when I accidentally burned the uniform. I stood rooted to a spot.Everything seemed like a dream but Charity walked into the room to prove me wrong. She took the iron from my hanging hand and pressed it immediately at my back. I wailed in pain. When Madam and her husband came in, they were astonished.

" Why did you do that, Charity, dear?" Were the only words coming out of their mouths. She sent me off to my room afterwards. I wrenched my dress off and stared at the reflection of the iron imprint on my back in the mirror. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks. At that moment, I wanted my mother. I needed to get back at Charity and I wanted to go back to Togo.

The door creaked open and Madam came in with a bowl of iced water. She told me to apply it to the injured site and asked me to come to the kitchen later on to prepare supper for the family.

Madam is a lover of nature. She has a beautiful garden that the gardener tends every weekend. Colourful bougainvillae are present in her garden. A fountain is situated in the garden. The garden has a relaxation shed which Madam and her family use for their weekend resort. The waters from the fountain shimmer under the rays of sunlight. The garden is what I call "The Paradise". The Paradise is magnificent at night because of the magic created by the lights decorated around it. My window overlooks this garden.

Tonight, as I stare outside of the window, I no longer see the beauty in the garden. What I am looking at are grotesque images. Something like a white screen comes from out of nowhere to the garden. I see my mother dressed in an attractive outfits. She is smooth-cheeked. Tanku has grown taller. My sister Tise, has grown up too. They all look so attractive in their outfits. They are all seated in Madam's sitting room. Charity comes in with a bowl of food in her hand and places it in front of them. I recognize the bowl. The food has been poisoned by me.

" Don't!" I scream as my mother is about to take a scoop. She cannot hear me. She takes it and my siblings also start eating from the bowl. Minutes later, they all start to clutch their stomachs. They fall off their seats and stay numb on the floor. Madam, Walking Belly and Charity tower over their corpses and they all begin to laugh hysterically. As they look at my direction, the white screen goes blank. From the window where I watched the whole thing happen, the rat poison I hold in my hand fall to the ground. My hands shake as if they have a life of their own. I was going to poison Charity with that. I wanted to put Madam and Walking Tummy through agony by killing their only child. I got the poison from my best friend in school. I told her I needed to kill a rat which had been disturbing my peace. Of course, Charity has always been a rat. I collapse to the floor and weep bitterly. Tonight, I will not be taking my revenge; I just want to see my family.