Life Finds a Way

This is the kind of evening that just makes you feel alive. Just the right temperature, so comfortable you don’t even think about it. You just are. It feels like winter might finally be over. I mean, I love the snow, but there’s just something special about this time of year. The flowering trees are full of white and pink blossoms. The dull browns of winter are being hidden behind the green of new life. Animals and people alike are coming out of their winter dens to enjoy the new season. Everything is just so full of life.

           Kind of ironic, I guess. Life finds a way; isn’t that what they say? But then, people are naturally hopeful, aren’t they? Every season has its own optimistic spin on it, not just spring. Summer has parties and picnics and summer vacation. Fall has its cozy sweaters and pretty colors. And winter has presents at Christmas and hope for the future on New Year’s Day. In a way, it makes sense. We like to ignore the bad things in life as much as possible and only see the good. If we didn’t, there probably wouldn’t be so much wrong with the world. We’d see it and do something about it. But we don’t. No one ever does.

           I kind of want to yell at the trees. What right do they have to be so full of life? Can’t they see everything that’s wrong with the world? Don’t they see the cruelty, the hatred, the arrogance, the apathy? The trees stand tall and proud, showing off their colorful blossoms like they’re the only thing that matters. Hey, look at me! Notice me! Pay attention!

           Not so different from people, I guess. It’s the colorful ones, the loud ones, the pretty ones that get noticed. They get all the attention. But no one notices the skinny bare tree, the one whose branches hang limp and scraggly with only a few pitiful yellowish leaves trying in vain to cover its nakedness. No one pities it or helps it as it slowly dies. No one notices when it’s gone – an empty space where something once stood. No one will notice until something comes to take its place – a new, young, healthy tree. That tree will get noticed.

           It’s amazing what you notice when you don’t care anymore. I’ve walked through this park on the way to school and back home again every day, but I don’t know if I ever really looked at anything. There was always something else on my mind – tests, projects, grades, each fight I had with my mother. None of that matters anymore, though. For the first time, I can see this park for how it really is.

           I guess I’m as bad as everyone else, aren’t I? This park has always been there, a mere block away from my home, but I never noticed it. I used it – played on the playground as a kid, rode my bike through it, walked through it nearly every day of my life, but I never noticed it. I never noticed the subtle changes or the care that went into its upkeep. I didn’t notice when the benches were painted, but they clearly were, recently by the look of them. I didn’t notice when they put in that new swing set, but I know it wasn’t there when I was little. The old macadam walkway that used to be torn up in places was redone. When did that happen?

           At least someone noticed this little park. Someone saw that it needed some help, and they did something about it. Maybe there really are people in the world who notice, people who care. They’re just not a part of my life.

           Maybe if I were louder, if I sang from the tree tops like the birds, people would notice me. Maybe if I were pretty like the flower-covered trees, people would look at me. Maybe if I were fresh and new and full of life instead of this tired, worn-out, failure of a person I’ve become.

           The happy screams of the kids playing on the playground surprisingly aren’t nearly as annoying as they usually are. I guess it has to do with my new-found apathy. Eh, let them be happy. Let them run as fast as they can, jump as high as they can, scream as loud as they can now while it’s still acceptable. Let them actually be happy for a while, before responsibilities hit. Before people actually expect something from you. Before people use you for whatever you can give them and then drop you like a piece of trash when you’ve given them everything you have. Before they-

           Huh. What’s that kid doing? Looks like she’s trying to pull the blossoms off one of the trees. Leave it to kids to destroy something so beautiful. She probably doesn’t even know what she’s doing. She just saw something and wanted it, so she-

           She gave it to me. She gave me the flower. She didn’t say a word; she just handed it to me and ran off laughing. It’s a pink one. Kind of reminds me of the magnolia tree we had in the yard when I was a kid. I used to sit under it and play in the fallen blossoms like they were fall leaves.

           Why did she give me this? Why did she even notice me? She should have been too busy playing to even see me. What possible reason could she have not only for noticing me, but for taking the time to give me a flower?

           Maybe there really are people out there who see the world for what it is. Maybe that little girl is one of them. Maybe people like her can change it. That’d be nice. A place like this could really be something special with a few more people like that little girl.

           Looks like it’s starting to get dark. It’s interesting; night falls even on a place like this. When the dark comes, you can’t see the trees or their blossoms. The people leave; the animals settle down for the night. If I stayed here tonight after everyone left, it probably wouldn’t seem so full of life. It would probably seem like it was abandoned, like everyone decided that it wasn’t good enough anymore, that they got their use out of it and then left it behind.

           But that’s not the truth. When another warm, sunny spring day comes, they’ll come back. They’ll walk through the park. The kids will play on the playground. People will sit on the benches and read or people-watch. The birds will sing again, and the trees will still be blossoming in the sunlight.

           Maybe that’s the secret of life. Maybe it never really goes away. Maybe it just hides in darkness for a while. But the darkness doesn’t last forever, and when it’s gone, life is still there. Even in the winter, when everything looks bare and lifeless, when people stay indoors and animals hibernate; even then, there is life.

           Maybe that’s me right now. Maybe I’m not done yet. Maybe this is just my night time, my winter. Maybe my spring is coming, too. Maybe all I needed was a flower. Maybe it’s true what they say – life finds a way.