Bitten

Day 1,

You never expect the world to and until it actually does. 

I am writing this I think to leave something behind, so I don't become one of the millions whose voices vanished.

When the first reports came out it was warmer out, I remember me sitting in Justin's car talking about our issues, our fears, our plans for the future.

How much we took for granted back then, even journals like this one were just a mundane task but now this is a little part of humanity to cling on to. 

The day the world ended Justin and I were sitting in the car, Kinda like we are doing now. We had the air conditioning going and I remember how cold it had felt on my skin compared to Justin's warm embrace as we sat together in the back seat. These were peaceful moments for both of us, his foster family wasn't cruel but it was obvious they didn't like him.

After my mother became a less than desirable topic we switched on the radio, I saw some weird online article about a mysterious outbreak and heard my mom watching fox news about the riots but I didn't put them together. I should have thought maybe I would have been more prepared for the journey that is now so different from how the world used to be. I mean come on even I didn't realize the world was messed up even when a strange man bit my sister at the park, on the radio the women was explaining how Buffalo General was filled with people due to the rises and how they all had strange bite marks.

It wasn't just Buffalo, either it was all over the country everyone assumed it was just politics or something. I mean even if the government connected the dots no one told us, regular people, anything about it. 

Then the alert signal came over the radio telling everyone to stay in their homes and something about staying vigilant and calling 9-1-1 if we saw something suspicious. Ha! What on earth were the cops supposed to do? They were too overwhelmed in the cities where the most food for the sick was. Even the military fell in the First 48 hours in Buffalo and I pray it isn't like that everywhere especially not Atlanta where we are headed. 

I remember looking into Justin's green eyes searching for some kind of fear for someone as skinny as himself he should have had more fear about the world but as I have come to learn feared nothing back then but now we fear the dead. My house was the closest so that's where we headed first and that's where we found my family. I don't think I am ready to write about that yet though this fever makes me weak and my wound itches and burns. I'll try to write every day until I am too weak to but I cling on to God and faith that when we reach Atlanta there will be a cure.

Day 2

We are out of gas today and Justin has gone out to siphon some more. We have parked in a garage where locale survivors have given us shelter. It's so quiet during the day for what used to be what looks like a populated area. 

The groaning outside the door at night keeps everyone awake and on edge, Maybe that is why Justin has been on edge. He hasn't slept much since the first night on the road. 

The things we have seen, the people we passed and didn't stop and help. I remember how happy she was when I pulled out a small box of animal crackers from the glove compartment. She introduced herself. I can't bear to remember much less write down her name. She then told us about how " the funny people" came to come and took her father. 

This must have been what her mom told her when the dead killed her father. She probably needed to know the truth. There was a lot of pop up camps in the woods down these backroads, not a lot of dead were around then. Seeing her reminded me of when I was growing up. I couldn't imagine growing up in a world like this one. 

After a while of taking and playing with this stuffed bear she called "Dolly'', she said it was named after her mother's favorite singer. The mother called the girl and as she reached for the girl I saw the bite mark peek out from underneath her sleeve. Justin then hopped back in the car and started to drive off. The two women screamed for us to come back.

I remember tears streaming down his paler than the usual paleness of his face. I looked up into the window and saw two of the dead come out of the woods. The women's screams must have attracted them. I mean the dead still look like people well minus those pale eyes and black veins so honestly, I don't know if they were even the dead or not. 

Justin at that moment told me " don't look" and I remember looking at the dashboard hot tears streaming down my face asking myself where God is? I guess I will ask him soon enough. 

The veins around my wound are turning black, Justin said it's a good sign we have seen people turn a lot quicker. He thinks It hasn't progressed too far to be cured and that my body is fighting it off.

The less miraculous part of all of this is that the guys who own the garage accidentally saw my wound as my long sleeves tend to roll up as I write in here. Now Justin and the two girls who own the place are having a heated discussion. 

I hope they let us stay and I can not spend my last days on the road. There is no cure or else It would all be back to normal now. 

I cling to my cross necklace and am not afraid to die, it is just leaving Justin alone which makes me fearful. Without faith this brutal end I'm about to face would have been scarier and a part of me still wants to live. 

Maybe one day after I'm gone things will return

back to normal, I know Justin holds on to that hope.

Day 3

The fever has started to increase more. 

I tried to bring up the fact that I am getting too tired for this journey with Justin but he keeps his eyes on the road and won't listen.

I stopped keeping track of where we are. I want to stop. I am still trying to muster up the courage to ask him to show me some mercy and stop me from turning into one of those things or people I still don't understand exactly what is going on. My body aches and hurts with every bump in the road. 

I know he blames himself for what is going but how was he supposed to know I wasn't going to make it all the way there?  

I wish we would have never left my body aches with every bump. 

There is something though I do not regret. I could never forget the people we met on our first night on the road, the night before I started writing this. 

I think I have talked about earlier how there were camps set up on the back roads? Well if I didn't mention it there were many of them. 

I remember my stomach growling as he pulled over the car. 

We saw a small tent and a dead campfire after walking ten minutes into the woods. We would later find out why these camps are not a smart idea. 

He started rummaging through boxes and taking some cans. I had this sad pain in my stomach wondering what if these people are going to come back? Will they starve to death because of our actions? 

I remember just as I was thinking that a young couple in their thirties stepped out of the tent. They were both on the heavier side. The was wearing the cross neckless I have on now actually. 

At first, the man was very hostile with Justin pulling a shotgun right at his chest. I remember such a moment of fear and adrenaline but then the girl was able to calm him down. I learned their name was Ted and Erica and they were headed back towards Buffalo from a Church retreat. 

As the sun was starting to set Eric and Justin went to collect more wood and me and Erica sat by the dead fire pit. 

I learned that she was born in Canada and that she and Eric met on a mission retreat. They said they just fell in love with each other from the moment they met each other and knew that the Lord brought them together. 

They were trying for a baby and went to this church retreat to pray that she would conceive. I told her where I was from and what happened to my family. 

We prayed together and for this first time since all of this started I felt comfortable. 

She said something to me that in my short time left I will always remember. She told me that no matter what we lose, we can't ever lose hope. She said God will carry us out of this. I couldn't tell her about the bite though even though I wanted to I tried my best to conceal it. I did not want to lose this quiet moment of peace. 

Once the men came back, they built a fire and cooked some hotdogs on sticks. Justin really looked like he appreciated that because growing up a child of the state you don't really get this type of childhood experience.

I woke up to the sound of growls and running footsteps. The campfire had drawn them right to us. About 5 came running at us blood dripping from the mouth and their white eyes bulging right at us. I was closest to them but they ran right past me. That's when Erica looked at me confused. I watched the dead creature sink its teeth into her neck. It was like it was all in slow motion. Justin ran towards the car to get the gun and Eric finished the rest off with the shotgun he aimed at Justin earlier. 

Justin came back to see me holding Erica in my arms. "You were bitten?" she asked me. I told her yes then she looked at me and said "Then I'll see you soon baby girl... we will be together with God," and at that moment I saw the light drain from her eyes. 

Now I am preparing myself to be with God and see Erica again. 

I pray to Jesus that Justin will understand. That he will do what he has to do when the time comes so I won't turn, I just wish I could have died at home.

Day 4

He has agreed to let me die. 

I have no fear. 

I trust that what God has for me after is better than this world which is surrounded by death and suffering. 

I just ask whoever reads this to pray for those I love and leave behind. I never thought that I would have to prepare myself to die. 

Thank God I found some make-up and I packed one of my nicer dresses. I don't know why I would do that, maybe part of me knew this would happen. 

At first, Justin wouldn't listen then we hit a bump in the road and I yelped out in pain. He can't even look at me because the black veins have now taken over my face. For the first time In awhile he looked at me, tears streaming down his face, He knew I was too tired to go on. 

I put coverup on which was half-hidden. The black veins on my face put on some lipgloss and mascara. I just don't know how Justin will do it, maybe I will close my eyes and pretend I am already dead. 

I am forever grateful for the mercy he will show me, I have so much love in my heart for my God, him and the family I lost. 

I should probably tell you what happened to them now. I should probably start at the very beginning. 

Once we heard what was going on we rushed back to my family's apartment and walked in to find it completely empty so we thought. I walked back to find my mother tending to my sister who looked visibly ill veins black on her face and sweating. 

In the beginning, no one understood what this disease was or what these people who got sick were becoming, Justin who as we know had a certain disdain for my mother sat in the living room, on the phone talking to his family. They told him to wait there until they figured out what was going on. He and I both knew what that meant. They were finally getting rid of him. 

He had only been with this foster family for a couple of months and now that he was 18 they let him stay for a month after so he can have time to find a place to live. They definitely weren't coming. 

The first night was rough, my sisters cried which I could understand fully now. Every part of you aches, and your whole body is on fire. It took her 2 days to turn. 

She is the blessed one when it comes to this disease. It has taken me a lot longer and I have yet to be put out of my misery. 

It was bad in the suburbs but not as bad as it was in the cities so that's probably why the military never reached us. 

The nights got quieter and quieter as the dead started to outnumber the living. I would hold onto Justin tightly during those 2 nights and how I want to now. 

Since I started showing symptoms I lock myself in the trunk even though he thinks it's unnecessary. 

Anyways back to what I was saying before, we would at night take turns caring for my sister. My mother one night then me the next, How painful it is to watch a child suffer you cannot put into words but it makes it worse if itis someone you love, This went on until the day my mother went out to get supplies l from the store down the street and never returned.

We waited a couple of hours for her to return until Justin took the car to go look for her. He came back empty-handed, with a traumatized look that made his face pale and his green eyes shine more. He still won't tell me what he saw that day but that was his first exposure to what was happening outside. 

That moment was my first heartbreak. Since everything changed but little did I know at that time another one was around the corner. Telling my sister that Mom was lost was one of the most heartbreaking things I had to do. Losing her made me deeply regret. Our fights which now seem so dumb. 

On the third night, I woke up to the sound of her struggling, to breathe. At that moment I held her little body not knowing what to do. Then her breathing stopped. At that point, I ran to get Justin from the other room to find her sitting up in bed eyes white as snow and veins black as a starless night sky. She then launched herself from the bed like a wild animal and before I knew it sunk her teeth in my arm as I tripped trying to get out of the room. 

A burn shot up my arm then a sharp pain as Justin kicked her head releasing her grip. l then shut the door and put a chair under the door handle to look her in there, I wept as Justin put a towel over my arm. 

Whatever she was, she was dead. I knew it at that point. I mean I felt her stop breathing. I remember us deciding what to do. Mercy was the only option, It's what God who sometimes I feel, isn't present with me, has shown us. 

Justin went into the closet and took out the little black handgun. He offered to do it but, this was my family and I knew I had to be the one to do it. When he handed me the gun. I was surprised how heavy it felt in my hand, it was like holding the weight of my sadness in my hand. I took a couple of steps back, palms beating like my whole heart was inside of them. 

I remember the leaping of my heart as he opened the door and she came crawling out after breaking her ankles. Justin left the room realizing this was an intimate moment. 

I will never forget the look of sadness she had in her eyes. It was like there was something still human behind those milky white eyes. I don't think I want to write about this anymore and the reader can probably guess what happened after that, After that, we put the pieces together and figured out it was the bite that did you in and decided to head to the CDC. Now we have stopped. 

I hope that whoever finds this journal can learn from my experience and when the world gets better that this can be a way for people to experience the world we live in. With my final written words, I commend my soul to Jesus and pray for the world to be better.