She missed the boat

“It’ll be easy, ‘e says. I'll go ahead to set oehp ooehr 'ahme, den you can meet me dere,” Thomas is holding on to his bride's hands. They are setting at a plain wooden table with ladderback chairs drawn up around it. They are alone in the room, for once the parents and multiple siblings have made themselves scarce. A log in the hearth snaps loudly while the black pot over the fire simmers gently. Shadows dance on the log walls from the lantern on the table, the stone flag floor was swept clean. Mary had recently swept all of the dirt from the floor into the hearth, as it was not Monday.

"Who'll bring de fire?" Mary asked Thomas. She was referring to the hearth fire that her family had kept lit for hundreds of years. A special prayer was recited each morning for the house and its inhabitants. The fire was a symbol of life and living. By careful raking and taking care of the ashes, their fire had remained lit for generations.

Thomas was determined to get to America. He had heard about job opportunities. There was so much disease here. People were dead or dying from starvation and he just couldn't bear to stay any longer. He had to leave and he was taking his bride with him. He just couldn't take her with him right now. There wasn't enough money for them both to go. Once he got to America, the land of plenty, he would have a job, make his fortune, and bring her over in style. It would be perfect! Mary just needed to believe in him. He knew he was asking a lot, that he was going to send for her. He was just going first.

"I've gaht de fire. We've gaht de fire. right 'ere," he pointed to his heart and then to hers. "Dis is all we need."

***

The two women sat staring at the letter on the kitchen table between them. It arrived in the morning post. 

Dear Mary,

Enclosed you will find a prepaid ticket for your trip. I will be waiting for you. There is much talk of sickness on board these ships, as I am sure you have heard. Please be watchful of who you are near. Mind that you eat properly to keep up your strength. If anything were to happen to you my heart would be forever broken.

All my love,

Thomas

“'e wants me ahn board de next shep,” Mary said.

She couldn’t look at her mom for fear of crying. How could she leave her mom? How could she leave the only home she has ever known? How could she leave her family? When Thomas had asked for her hand in marriage, her father had happily agreed. No one had expected the desire to move to America shortly after. If her parents had known she had to leave Ireland and them behind upon marriage, would they have still said yes?

Mary’s mom reached for her hands, “A wahman's place is wit 'er 'oehsband. And a 'oehsband's place is wit 'is wife. You’ll go when you are ready to go. Now dat bread isn't goin to make itself.”

***

Thomas saved every penny he could from each paycheck. He was determined to bring his bride over as soon as he could. The small apartment wasn’t great. But it had a living room, kitchen, and bedroom. She would know how to make it into a home when she arrived. He’d heard of some folks moving on to a place called Lancaster up North of here. Maybe they wouldn’t even stay in New York City for long once she got off the boat. It was much too crowded here anyway for his liking. 

His last letter had included passage for a ticket along with instructions. Today was the day he was going to be reunited with his bride at long last! It had been a long year of waiting, but patience won out! They would ring in 1858 with a fresh start in a new home. 

*** 

"She wasn't ahn de boat," Thomas said. "She wasn't ahn de boat."

His friend was having a hard time deciding whether to continue teasing or just to buy his friend a beer. The disheveled heap on the stool next to him was expecting his bride to be by his side right this very moment. He stared at his inconsolable friend.

"All dese mahnths o' waitin," Thomas said.

She should have braved the Atlantic. All the months of waiting and anticipating were supposed to be over today when the ship docked. The ship came into port from Ireland, families, couples, young youths seeking to find their fortunes slowly made their way off boat. 

He stood, staring. None looked like his beautiful bride. None had her beautiful red hair, her bright smile, her sway of hips; no one called out his name. He searched for her green eyes among the crowds, but found none familiar.

Thomas had stood on the the dock, with his hat and a bouquet of daffodils clutched in his hands, waiting for her to get off the ship. Yellow daffodils that were his Mary's favorite flower. He bought them special for her that morning, knowing that the cheerful blooms would also remind her of home. Now the petals were wilted, crushed, and stuffed into his coat pocket.

“Dat's too bad, mate. Maybe she was lahst at sea? Maybe she met sahmeone else? maybe I shooehld stahp talkin now and boehy you dat beer.” 

 She should have been here. Today.

My Darling Thomas,

You are such a kind, decent husband who I know will understand why I have sent my brother instead of me. My parents agreed that this would be best, to make sure that all is well and safe for you - for all of us, when I arrive. He will also be there to help you earn more money so more family will be able to go to America too. I know you will understand and be sweet. This is why I fell in love with you.

Yours,

Mary

He had sent the letter and the brother on to his small apartment. Then he met up with a friend to commiserate over a pint. When is the next ship coming in from Ireland? Next spring, if the weather allowed? 

“At least you'll 'ave plenty o' time to set aside mahre pay fahr de next tecket,” his friend encouraged. This was true. Maybe he could even save enough to upgrade from steerage. Maybe. 

***

“She messed de boat. She messed de boat? She messed de boat? 'ow ded she mess de boat?" He stood staring at yet another brother on the New York dock. “What, exactly, ded she say to you? 'ahld dis tecket and I'll be right back?"

Thomas could barely open the letter as his fingers shook, from fear or shock, he wasn’t quite sure which. She had sent yet another letter with another brother. It would be months before he saved enough for passage for her to come again. What was that fool woman thinking? Did she hope to have her whole family over here before she came? That was a tall order. There were quite a few of them. He’d love to have his family here also, starting with his bride! 

Dear Thomas,

Please don’t be angry with me. I am just so frightened to cross over that dark water. I know if you were by my side I would find the courage in my heart to set foot on that boat, but without you, I am lost. Here, I have my parents who tug at my heart strings and make me feel grounded in every way. Even now my mother is calling to me to come peel the potatoes for dinner. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for not being on the boat. I do love you with all my heart.

Yours,

Mary

***

After the relentless, turbulent waves, there before them was the shore. Thomas held Mary’s hand tightly in his own. Ahead of them Castle Garden grew bigger and more beautiful with each surge of the boat. Each wave carried them closer. He pointed to Lady Liberty and tried to ignore the tears on Mary’s cheeks. 

“Dahn't be daft. You dahn't 'ave to ignahre me you know,” Mary said. “I'm joehst wahnderin if we 'ave to tell de immigration people if we are two people ahr three?”

***

He had to take the trip over there to get her. She would not get on that ship without him by her side. It was a fine Spring day when they landed at Castle Garden in the spring of 1860. It had taken a few extra years, a few extra dollars, and they had a few extra family members alongside them, but they had moved to the United States. They had left the potato famine behind, but not their love of potatoes and their love of family. Above all, it is always important to remember to not leave behind the ones you love.