The Portal

It was a normal day, the day that I, Dr. Maniacal, found out I wasn't real. I was dealing with some (former) enemies of mine and was working on a new device. I had made many “projects” over the years, each more promising than the last. Or so I thought. Most of my inventions have been viewed as useless by the Board of Smart Scientists, a.k.a. the BOSS. One of my first inventions, the Returner worked well, it sent things back to where they came from, but people didn't like to be sent back to the hospital when they were accidentally hit by it. Which happened a lot. My teleportation device was fine unless there was more than one person or more than one anything in it at a time. If that was the case, the molecules of both objects/people got rearranged and made the objects or people all mixed up. The BOSS said there were many more, more efficient ways to get around. There were a few more that were deemed “unsafe” or “counterproductive” by the BOSS, but those don't need to be mentioned. 

The new device that I was working on would create a “tear” in space allowing me not only to go anywhere at will but also to travel to other dimensions. The BOSS told me not to go with experimentation, something to do with collapsing space and time, but I'm doing it in secret anyway. The machine is shaped like a big circular pincer coming out of the ground with little cones, the part that causes the hole into different dimensions to materialize, circling the inside. To the right of it, there is a silver terminal that I can use to navigate the multiverse. I will have to add to the map as I go since this is unexplored territory. The cones will create a split in space, using all the power I have amassed in my oversized energy cube, another thing the board thought to be useless since there were already portable ones that were easier to use. I would have used the small ones but since only a few members of the BOSS know about my larger innovation of the previous model, it would be easier to keep a secret. The cube holds all of the power I have accumulated over the past 6 months and should be enough for a few person-sized portals. 

I tested it for the first time 4 days ago and I'm still scared of it. When I first turned on the device, a large metal beast emerged out of it growling at me with a screaming person imprisoned within its glass insides. Though it quickly fled at the sight of my atomic pastry gun (another rejected experiment). It was a sleek silver raygun that fired green glowing donuts, tarts, and other pastries when I pulled the trigger. I am now ready to try again, having recalibrated the machine’s orientation within the theoretical multiverse. I say theoretical but I guess now it has been proven since I opened a portal to the metal monster dimension. Either way, I had it programmed to take me to another dimension.

After I was done all the final tweaks, I decided to test it again. I pressed all the keys and then pulled the big lever, laughing maniacally, “Mwahahahaha!” The cones started to spark with electricity and a glowing blue and purple portal started to open. I peered through and saw a big path with buildings lined up along it. A few more metal beasts were traveling the path, some going one way and some going another. Hoping they wouldn't see me, I turned into a storefront with a large window showcasing some books. I started to read the titles one by one. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, The Invincible Iron Man: The Birth of Power, and…. “Doctor Maniacal and the Portal to Nowhere!?!” I exclaimed, “What is this!?! Who has been writing about me!?!” I shouted at people walking down the street. Looking around I saw that people were giving me odd looks. They were all dressed strangely too, wearing cloak-like garments, with a hood, but the cloak was much shorter. I also saw pants made out of thicker blue material, and they were all pointing strange rectangular devices at me and my portal. 

I smashed open the window and grabbed my book from the display. As I lept back through my portal, I saw that people were now talking into the rectangles, almost frantically. I heard wails in the distance and saw people running towards me as my portal sealed behind me. I collapsed onto the floor of my laboratory, breathing hard. Taking a closer look at the book, I noticed that the cover showed me holding my atomic pastry gun, pointing it at a group of multi-colored blobs coming out of a blue and purple portal. I looked grim with determination but also scared as if I just learned something important. Thinking back, I couldn't recall a time when I experienced that. Or fighting big multi-colored blobs for that matter. When I was done reminiscing, I looked back at the front cover, wondering who wrote a story about me, of all people, for I was just one of the many scientists under the BOSS. I didn't think I was anything special. I noticed a few more words at the bottom of the book. It read, “Written By Ernest Warren.”

I read this over multiple times, contemplating what it meant. Did this mean I was created by someone? Well, we all are, but this seemed… different. I had to find this Ernest person, in the world of metal beasts. Frantically resetting the machine, I pulled the lever, starting it up. How hard could it be, I thought.

Turns out it was pretty easy. Bounding through the portal, I landed face first in a big wooden shelf, knocking books off and creating a general mess. I got up, dusted myself off, and looked around in wonder. I was in a building with rows and rows of shelves full of books. I saw some strange glowing devices lined up on a table, each with a metal box standing upright next to it and a board with many different buttons sitting in front of the glowing part. Some people were sitting and staring at theses devices doing different things. I walked up to an empty one and saw that the buttons on the board had many different letters and symbols on it. I pressed one and that character lit up on the screen. Maybe this device could help me find what I'm looking for, I thought to myself. I pressed the buttons corresponding to Ernest Warren watching as they appeared on the screen. When it didn't take my query, I started to hit random buttons in the hope it would do something. All of a sudden, the screen changed, “Ahhhh!” I yelped, drawing some weird looks from the other people. The screen changed and at the top, it read “showing results for ernest warren;’dl3\”. The first result read, “Ernest Warren is a bestselling author, currently residing in Sun Valley, Idaho…” This was great except for the fact that I had no clue what or where that is. I sprinted back through my portal, closing it behind me. I ran up to the terminal, typing in, “Sun Valley, Idaho”, to see if there were any results. There were three. One described it as a desolate wasteland with little life. Not that one. Another described it as a military base that occupied most of Idaho, and the third described it as a small town that had a famous author there. The other two must have been parallel universes that would contain the metal beast dimension, so I went with the last one. Powering up the portal with the dimensional coordinates as Sun Valley, Idaho, I noticed the power cube was getting low. This will be my last trip for a while, I thought to myself. I walked through the portal watching the landscape unfold before me. I was up on a hill, looking down on a small town that I assumed to be Sun Valley. I turned around and found that I was in front of a huge mansion that I took to be Ernest Warren’s. I walked up to the front door and knocked. A person dressed like they just woke up answered the door. 

“How may I help you?” He asked. Staring back at him, I asked,

“Are you Ernest Warren?” 

“Yes…?” He replied.

“Then explain this!” I shouted shoving the book in his face, “You wrote this, right?”

“I did, it was one of my best selling books,” he responded.

“So you wrote me? As in you created me from thoughts?” I asked. He looked at me confused, then all of a sudden perked up, my identity dawning on him. 

“H-how is this possible?” He asked. I pointed to the portal, which he also just noticed. I pulled out my atomic pastry gun.

“Who are you, so magical that you just created me by putting words on paper?” I demanded, prodding him with the weapon. Abruptly he started trembling even more than he already was, pointing at the portal I came from. “What is it?” I snapped. I turned around to look, seeing the blobs from the cover of the book starting to come out of the portal. 

“It’s them...” he said, crumpling to the ground. I stared at them in horror aiming my gun at it. As I shot one it expanded so there was a hole in its body and the shot passed right through. I walked up to it to see if I was able to punch it when I noticed something strange. It seemed as if the world itself was… glitching. At least the parts they touched. A thought dawned on me, Where did they come from? They couldn't have come from my laboratory, it’s too well protected… Oh no. They came from the portal itself. The BOSS was right, it would start the collapse of the space and time. Leaping over the blobs, I went right through my portal. I slid into my lab, aiming my atomic pastry gun back through the portal, as the blobs started to pour out. I was the only one who could stop this, seeing as I was the only one who knew at this point. With a look of grim determination on my face, I faced the oncoming horde.