R.E.M. Travels

"Hello citizen 224587321 Graae Onyx."

"Hello Ontario. Ontario message count please."

"5 new messages."

"Play messages."

"Seneca Salt from K-Syndicate alerting Graae Onyx that after processing, a total of -67,456 jilingbits have been recorded. Your lifecare account is critically in danger of flatline."

"Dear Graae Onyx it has come to the attention of Zenith Pulse that you are only 12 simoleons above baseline. A 10 simoleon count is required to keep your account from expiring."

What?! I could have sworn I had plenty of simoleons saved up.

"Graae it's your turn to man the grill Saturday at the coterie braai. Don't be late."

"Graae Onyx your current spondulick amount is 5,764. You will receive an updated message in 14 days."

5,764 spondulicks. Ok not bad, not good, but not bad.

"Call from Wonder 9. This call is to inform Graae Onyx that only 29,761 pelfs remain for use."

29,761 pelfs left. Sheesh what did I spend all my pelfs on?

Cripes! I didn't know I was this broke.

Looks like my sabbatical is finito. Gotta call Grease Face Jimmy and get set up again. I can't stand the guy but he's the best in the business.

I own a portal surge company. People pay me to flinch (jump) to other worlds. I'm a third generation dreamporter. Dreams are stories and images that our minds create while we sleep. Commonly they are thought to represent unconscious desires, wish fulfillment, and personal conflicts. Mine are more unique in that they also allow entry into other worlds.

It's not exactly legal, hence, the need of Grease Face Jimmy's services. I dream and portals to other worlds open up. When a 'emptor'(customer) wants to flinch they first have to have a physical done, a menval, a criminal background check and lastly they have to pass a polygraph test.

When they pass all four grades, then they are hooked up to EMMA (electro magnetic mind alterer). They then lie in a small capsule load . I too am in a capsule load; but I am not hooked up to EMMA like the emptors, instead my dreams are fed into EMMA through a conscienceness microfibre film. On average I dream three to six times per night lasting anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. After my dreams begin the 'emptor' is able to view and choose which alternate world they want to flinch to using my dream as a surge board through the portal opening.

Once they are on the other side they have exactly 24 hours in the alternate world before my dream expires. When my dream does expire the emptor is immediately relapsed to his or her true world.

There are many reasons people flinch. They want a break from the life they are currently living. They want to experience life as a foreigner. They met a fellow flincher and began a relationship. They take vacations, attend conferences, weddings, sports events, go to an exotic dinner.

My emptor's list includes people from all walks of life. Elites, business execs, married couples, grandmothers, college kids, politicians, blue collar workers, etc.

The cost is 37,999 merlon paid up front in full or a 30 day bi-pay. Which is then converted into multiple currencies and dispersed into my bank accounts. I work Monday's through Thursday's from 10.pm. until 6 a.m. My 'PS' quality is so great I have people who don't mind being on a waiting list for up to 6 months. 

The pay is lucrative, very lucrative. That's why I'm scratching my head right now, not understanding why I'm so broke. I'm going to get a financial manager this time I swear.

"Whattaya want ?"

"I need a vamp Q11 deluxe."

"For when?"

"Let's see I want to start on Tuesday so that's what, three days from now."

"Let me see what's available."

"Ok. Sure."

"Arrright I gotta pop at 3:30 on Tuesday."

"I'll take it."

"Thattalbe 46.6 keptors with a 30% overhead."

"Whoaa 30%? The last time I got set up it was 17%."

"Inflation."

"Damn...that's a steep jump."

"Take it or leave it."

"Do it. But I need a 5 nomit flex on the overhead."

"Ratking get the paperwork ready for this cat's-paw."

Next I head to the store. I have to stock up on my dream diet. Cheese, turkey, peanutbutter, jelly, bread, bananas, and apple juice. My dreams are more vivid and colorful when I eat those things. I avoid coffee, cookies, cakes, pasta and chocolate.

I pull in front of Mavea's Gym. I need to bust out two 45 minute sets of hypercals. Working out is vital. Portal surging can make you soft if you don't exercise.

On the drive home I have Ontario check my emptors list. 

"Madesin L. She's a repeater. This will be her fourth flinch. She's never gone to the same world twice. Last time she flinched to Regulus Land of Giants."

Wonder where she'll go this time.

"Thad Y. A 30 something underwriter for Maylis Management. Thad is a FTF(first time flincher)."

"Ontario note to make make an appointment with Maylis Management for a financial coach please."

"Noted Graae Onyx."

"Coco B. another repeater. Coco likes to flinch to Thrypor. He has an alien girlfriend there."

There be hell to pay if his wife ever finds out.

"Sanax U."

Now here's a surprise. The last time Sanax flinched to Vahmyrah, he had an allergic reaction to some food he ate there. He tried to get a refund when he came back. No dice. You either take your own food or eat the food on the world you flinched to at your own risk. I pulled up his codex card to show him where he'd signed his citizen number and inked his knuckle print in agreement.

"Malloret E."

Malloret is a land contract attorney. He's taken his annual vacations at Herserdius Point for the last 5 years. On Herserdius there is only six hours of day light. Malloret says he's able to catch up on his sleep and still enjoy his time off.

"Cerlig F., Yagnus A., Kedfi D., and Gevaron P. are college student repeaters. They're headed to Sigmizet for spring break."

"More FTF's."

"Fytira T. 56 year old dula/midwife.

Robip J. 27 year old hyperdrive mechanic. 

Haick C. 40 year old motivational speaker. Dontui W. 33 year old culinary arts student."

"This is your percap line up Graae Onyx. Shall I continue with percap II lineup?"

"Thank you Ontario that will be all for now. I'll review the rest of my percaps another time."

After a dry rub and eucalyptus steam shower; I sit in my blue orb room and meditate.

It was best said by Desiderius Erasmus a Dutch philosopher. 'There are some people who live in a dreamworld and there are some who face reality and then there are those who turn one into the other.'

In my own way, on a small scale, I make it possible for those who want to turn one into the other.