“I can't sleep…”
The coolness of the night quickly seeped through the open window till someone previously lying on the bed decided finally to get up on his feet. A tall half-naked man shut it loudly and turned to the bed. The old wooden window was closed and even so, the wind was yet hoping to break into the room, coming in little by little through the gaps in the window.
“Why… damn it?” mattered someone.
A guy in his late 20s placed his right arm under his head as a pillow. He slowly closed his radiant gray and somewhat tired eyes and tried to clean up his mind. Half an hour gone and nothing changed. The dream seemed to let the guy go completely. He cursed in a half-hearted voice and sat up abruptly in bed. In a moment he reached up to the shelf hanging over the bed, took out cigarettes, and lit one of them in a single move. The moonlight began to break through the curtains, emphasizing the clouds of cigarette smoke. After smoking three cigarettes in a row he started to slowly twirl a metal lighter in his hand. The lighter looked expensive and likely made from high quality still with an engraving on the front side. Just two big letters, that weren`t visible because of some earlier damage. The memories of yesterday burst into the guy`s mind, causing a headache that gave way to eyelids. It made him want to tear out his eyes and never be able to see again. To see someone dying right in front of him.
“I should've saved more people... I had to help him... he was so desperate and broke.” The guy looked at his callused hands. After ten minutes of continuously examining his fingers, the bell rang. The loud sound caught his attention enough to pick up the phone.
"Yes, I'm listening," the emotionlessness in his voice frightened the caller.
“It's me. The guy's voice came after a second delay.”
“You. I thought you would call sooner or later.”
“Ty, I'm really sorry about the whole situation. I'm not sure I can find the right words to calm you down and support you somehow. The only thing I can say for sure is that I'm always with you, Ty. Whatever you need me, I will be there for you. And that... sure thing it will probably sound cruel but we understood what we were getting into when we chose our professions. You became a firefighter because you always wanted to save people. And you do, each and every single day, but we are not gods, and we cannot save everyone. I admitted this to myself three years ago when I started working in the emergency room. People die and will die, all we can do is try to do our best…” There was silence. No one said a word for a while. Then Ty turned his gaze to the ceiling and took a deep breath.
"Thank you, Roy," Tyler finally spoke up. - “You're right about everything you just said, and I'm well aware of it too, - he closed his eyes again. But today… was hell on earth. I have never been on a call like this in all my five years of service. More than a hundred people died because of that damn earthquake. I helped pull only a few adults and three kids out of the ruins and fire. And when I was sure that I could save their father, he was hit by a piece of rubble right before my eyes. And the last thing he did… he turned his eyesight to his daughters and thanked me for saving them, and then he was smashed. I think because of shock I stopped to hear and only when the chef pulled me over to safety I barely pulled myself together. And start searching for those small girls. My ears were ringing and my left shoulder was splitting with pain. I heard the doctor conclude that I had a deep cut on my shoulder as if a rock had hit my arm. However, I could not hear anyone still having the image of that man with his family in my mind. His face was all I could see before me until I arrived at the hospital. They told me to stay for a few days for bandages, but I couldn't Roy really. All the victims of the earthquake were taken to the same hospital as me, so I decided to be discharged the same day. The only thing that still worried me was those children who were left without a guardian and had to be somewhere around. So I ran to the reception and found out where they had been taken, and when I caught up with them, I gave them my contact and said that I would help them if they needed anything.” He stopped talking.
“Ty… you did the right thing. I'm sure those girls are grateful for saving them and your honest concern. Don't go so hard on yourself, please. Just take time for a “full” recovery and take care of yourself.”
“My help is not enough,” Tyler grumbled, but his voice got softer. Roy let out a breath and knocked on the door.
“Now open the door.”
Tyler turned in surprise toward the front door. Slowly, he went out into the hallway, trying to pull on a white T-shirt, and accidentally harmed his wounded left shoulder, afterward closed his eyes in pain. The door opened. Roy stood in front of him with a worn-out face, and deep blue circles under his eyes. Exhaustion was written all over his handsome face. All his clothes were wet from the rain and he was holding a small waterproof first-aid bag. Water ran down his short brown hair. After making a quick examination of the look of Tyler's left hand, he ran his right hand over his face to remove the dripping raindrops and then, without waiting for an invitation, quickly walked into the room.
"You've been smoking again, I was sure you quit ten years ago?" asked Roy, sensing the smell of cigarettes and taking off his sodden raincoat, he slowly sat down on the bed. He gestured for Tyler to join him and took some things out of the bag he had brought earlier. Tyler walked over to the window, opened it to let in some fresh air, and then sat down next to Roy. The sound of rain outside created a cozy atmosphere in the apartment.
"It's true, I haven't smoked a single cigarette in all these years." He looked up at Roy and touched a strand of his wavy hair.
“And the reason is you” - he look into Roy`s face. “I know you can't stand to be around cigarette smoke, so I decided to quit.” He played with Roy's hair a little longer and then got up and went to look for something in the closet. The guy pulled out a clean pair of pajamas and handed them to Roy.
"Please take off your wet clothes, you might get sick and I wouldn't want that.”
“Okay, but after I treat your wound. I was a little angry when I heard that you discharged yourself from the hospital. Because of the long list of arriving patients, I couldn't leave earlier, and when I did finally get to your room, the nurse said you had already left. So I changed my clothes and ran to your place, but I got caught in this stupid rain and now feel even more exhausted.” A wrinkle creased between the guy's brows, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and looked at Tyler wearily.
“Let's finish the bandaging quickly and I'll go home. By the way, you failed to convince me that your arm doesn't hurt. Take your shirt off. I heard you ouch before you opened the door.” Tyler laughed weakly and took off his clothes to reveal his toned, muscular body with a long, deep cut on his left arm. Roy's eyes narrowed, he took a small breath and moved closer to treat the wound. When he was done, he cleaned up and hid all the medical supplies, leaving the bag under the table by the open window. He made a couple of moves to stretch his back muscles thereafter shutting the window.
“Okay, I will change my clothes and take my leave you need to catnap after such a rough day.” Guy slowly took off his damp clothes and put on clean and warm pajamas, previously given by Tyler. “They still smell like you,” he softly looked into the grey sparkly eyes of Ty```s.
“Thanks for taking such great care of me Roy. I`m sure after your treatment my hand will be like new till tomorrow” he stood on his foot.
“Don`t be silly Ty, I`m not a magician.” After his words, he finally relaxed and put on a smile. “I will be back here tomorrow after my shift and treat it again, be at home.” The guy turned to the hallway but was stopped by Tyler's hand that he softly put on Roy`s arm.
“Stay with me today if you can.” Ty looked with care into Roy`s green eyes. “Tomorrow you can take my car on your way to work. Keys in the kitchen on the fridge. I feel it is a bad idea for you to back home now under this strong rain. You already look like you gonna faint any minute now and I would be worried if you go. Please let me take care of you too. I hope I don`t need to remember how important you are to me.” He came closer, enveloping Roy in his arms. Some time they stood still.
“Okay, I will stay,” answered Roy pulling Tyler closer to him.
End.
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