A new chapter

She suddenly woke up that morning or it is more appropriate to say that she never slept last night. It had been going on like this since last month. How could she keep her mind to rest when there was so much going on around and inside her. Her life had been turned upside down in just one night and now she was left all alone in this cruel world. Her father her only family in this wide world had died in a fatal accident. She was in a shock after she heard of the unfortunate incident. The smell of the hospital made her feel nauseated as she ran desperately through the corridors hoping that reaching earlier would save his soul from leaving his body. But she failed at her attempt to look into his living eyes one last time. To take his face between the palm of her hands and to caress his hair as he smiled looking fondly at her. She missed all those moments which could have been her lifetime memories. Her heart felt heavy with guilt. Guilt of wasting so many years of her life in keeping the grudge against his own father. Guilt of not understanding his perspective and his situation. Guilt of not spending more precious time with him, listening to the tales of his childhood mischieves. 

She had never been close to her father. He and her mother seperated when she was ten. All her life she used to think that he was an egregious person but after her mother Lilian died of throat cancer when she was 19 she was forced to live with her father. Living with him in the same house made her realised that she was the absolute reflection of her father. She understood that he too had suffered in the hands of a cruel fate. She began to realise that they both shared similar pain apart from the same blood which ran through both of their veins. And when they were starting to bond , he too was snatched from her just after 3 years of living with him. 

She was not able to process this . Her mind always kept repeating the same scenes again and again in her mind. His body as cold as ice and his once so bright face paler than the moon . All these scenarios haunted her all the time. How much she wanted peace and to cry all the tears out but she has not shed even a single tear. She was frozen in that moment with her father. Her days seemed longer, they seemed never to end. All the joy and bliss she had were sucked out of her. She had once again forgotten how to love and how to be loved. There were so much emotions buried inside her that she was not capable of fathoming them. 

She rose up from her circular bed and removed the pastel curtains of her window. It was a bright sunny day after a month of heavy rain. A faint smile formed on her face as the golden sunlight filled her room. On that sunny morning she realised the hint nature was giving her. She stepped out in the radiant sunshine with a glimmer of hope inside her heart.

After that day, she never looked back. She realised that she is what she is today because of all those memories. Her pain was carved into her soul and those scars made her beautiful. She realised that our memories are meant to strengthen and our past is a guide for our future. She learnt to live with moments hidden inside her. She realised the ephemeral yet eternal nature of this magnificent world. Her experiences gave her the courage and resilience to stand against any storm ahead of her. She learnt that to love is the best thing a human can do.

Now 10 years after all of this she was sitting on her terrace watching the sunset. She smiled at the realisation that the same sun that is setting here is rising somewhere else. To show light to someone who is lost in his way.

Now readers, I am that woman and as I am writing this there is moisture in my eyes and there is a bright smile on my face. I have learnt to live with my past and with my flaws. I have found love in the heart of young children whom I teach.

Today I want you to know that you are not alone. Your grief is your power. Your sorrow is your strength. Your guilt is a chance for you to reshape your life. And your empty heart still has a chance to be fulfilled with love and affection. Someone in this enormous world is waiting for you to show them the light. To hold your hand and to feel your warmth. They are waiting for you to show them how pain is a blessing and how it can change hearts. To tell them that all those sufferings they have been through has only increased them in their beauty. That their anxiety is real and so is their grief. They are waiting for you to hug them in their worst and to celebrate with you their small victories.

As for me I found that person eight years ago in my university. He was the one who understood my pain. Who loved me at my worst . Who caressed me and saw the beauty in my scars. His love has given me strength. His love has given me support to stand up on my own. His existence is the reason of my living. His radiant face to me is precious than the moon. His warmth has helped me to step out of my cold past. I still cannot fathom how someone is capable of giving so much without demanding anything in return. He has taught me how to love people without judging them for their imperfections. I feel blessed to have him in my life and I pray for everyone living on this earth to find love . Be it in a person, a pet or something else.