Imaginative Lost.....forever

No matter which way I turn, I am going nowhere, unless you count and recount the steps from where you were to were you are. I turned to the left then to the right, I turn north and then I turn south, then I turned east then I turned west, all to no avail.

It seems that no matter how I turned and where I turned, I was never sure where I had finally turned to or onto to. I was uncertain where I was at or whether I had actually even made any progress, because I was always going in circles and it was beginning to feel like I was trapped inside a maze or maybe a very confusing room.

I was surely lost inside of what I believed to be the outside, yet there was no indication that I was even outside, yet I was lost and not sure of my bearings or how I was even here, wherever here may actually be. I was not even sure why I was lost or how I had become unable to understand what I was hoping to find, after I was no longer lost.

I was becoming more irritated and even somewhat irrational, was becoming hostile to the thought I was lost and unable to decide whether I was alive or dead. I began trying to decide if I was going to continue to head back the way I had come down, or try a new plan, to decide what this whole matter was about. I then came upon a door, trying the knob and finding it surprisingly unlocked.

I, then turned the knob, slowly opening it outward and towards me, waiting for something to attack me or catch me off guard, when this did not happen, I entered. I entered, looking both left and right, wondering if there may be sounds, or noises, or being unsure what to expect, but was soon able to sense that I was not alone, not now or ever.

I then proceeded straight, and when my eyes were able to focus in the dark, I saw a stairway. I then figured it had to be going somewhere, but where I was not certain. I ran upward and came to a landing, that led nowhere. I then realized I was back where I had begun, which caused me to shutter at the idea, of my being trapped.

I was now certain, completely certain, I was lost. Being lost at this point, was causing my mental capacities to become more frail and making suddenly nervous and afraid. I was starting to sweat and soaked from this wetness that was accumulating on my body. Had I only noticed this, or was this made aware of my being lost. I was not sure what to believe right now.

I felt sure that I would make some progress, advance forward from where I had been before, even possibly discover whether I had moved from where I had started, in the beginning, yet to my surprise, I noticed many familiar signs and things that were where they were before too. I was increasingly become upset, as tears welled up and a few fell, that I must be dreaming, in a deep coma, where I was unable to wake from the coma, and believing I was trapped in my coma, possibly indefinitely.

I panicked at the idea, of being either in a coma, or worse as someone's cruel idea of a bad joke. I then returned to where the stairway had started, rushing through the doorway that I had entered, exiting the building. I turned left, running towards what I believed would be a new way out. I was stopped by a wall and fell.

I then turned left, then right, then north, then south, then running south, turned once more until I saw a bright light in the distance, was relieved it was even seen by me. How had I not noticed before.

I was feeling happy to no longer lost, when the light vanished. I was once more lost, but more so as the darkness overshadowed me. I looked upward, saw nothing, looked downward. saw nothing. No longer lost in the light, but lost in utter and hopeless darkness. I was beyond sanity and stability, I was beyond hope or even despair. I was now sure that my being lost was part of a diabolical devious plan.

I was unaware what had brought me here, what had made me do or think that I was not ever lost. To keep me confined and never knowing what was the comings and goings of others. To know I was human, or so I thought, and yet had become an experiment, or a test subject. I tried to scream, to yell out, hoping that someone would become aware of the dilemma. I was never able to hear me screaming, as no sound protruded from my mouth.

I looked around, then, only then, noticed I was not actually able to see, or hear, or touch and feel anything. I had only become aware of my being a doll and no longer a human being. If this was the end of one thing and the beginning of another, then it no longer any problem to me. I was lost for all eternity and with this "new" problem, I was never sure of what the outcome may lay before me.

I was neither here nor there, I was neither whole or half, I was only this, whatever this may have been at that very moment. It was not with my brain that I thought, nor with my eyes that I saw, nor with my abilities to do that mattered no more. I was trying to move, but had no way of moving, as my body was stiff as a board and set in one motion.

I had become some else, had become a hobby that was no longer in my own control, no longer mattered to anyone but the one who had made sure I knew this, even without the ability to think or do.

I was caught in the maze, lost to my own worst fears, never to truly know the how or what had cause me to become Imaginatively Lost....forever.