The Log in Your Eye

Greg was barely asleep beside his wife when he was awoken by an unexpected knock on their bedroom window. It was 3.02 a.m. He was supposed to be away on a sales assignment but had made an impromptu return after missing a connecting flight. He had left early morning and was due back in a week. After missing his flight, he had not bothered to inform his wife because there was a chasm between the two lately.

He had returned at 12.05 a.m. to find Becky dead drunk and asleep in the couple’s bedroom. Their sons, Eric, 7, and Brian, 5, were asleep in their room. He did not arouse anyone. He made himself a snack and ate as he watched CNN until 2.30 a.m. when he retired to bed.

Tap! Tap! Tap! Whoever it was knocked again on the window. The bedroom was dark but there was a security light outside. He drew the curtain slightly and peeped. Leaning on the wall was a figure donning a hooded black jacket and sunglasses. After a little while, he dropped what looked like a white piece of paper and tiptoed away.

Greg took his pistol from under the pillow and a searchlight and walked carefully to the back of the house. The unexpected visitor was nowhere in sight. On the ground beside the wall was a piece of paper. He picked it up and quickly returned to the house. He examined it in the bathroom. It was a note.

Hello, honey! I wrote this in my house before I came, just in case you didn’t open or your Mr. had suddenly returned. By leaving this note, it means one or the other scenario (or both) was pertaining. Love you, G.M.B.

The figure he saw was definitely a man. Was she cheating on him? He took a photo of the note with his smartphone and stashed it away.

He woke up very early and prepared to resume his itinerary. By the time he was leaving, neither Becky nor any of the kids was awake. He scribbled a note and left it on the bedside table.

I came back last night but you were dead to the world – the bedroom was reeking of mathylated spirits so I can’t ask you ‘why.’ I am resuming my trip but I thought I should let you know: Your friend, G.M.B., paid you a visit at 3.00 a.m. but you were too sleepy to open the door. I hope you will be sober enough at dawn to prep the kids for school. Greg.

Since the recent past, he would not have left her a note in normal circumstances. For six months since he took the new job as the regional merchandiser, they had had profound differences. She had always accused him of cheating. Despite his denials, the matter had run out of hand. Once he almost stormed out of the house, never to return for being accused of flirting with his co-workers, a neighbour, etc. He even explored the thought of doing what he was perennially accused of doing. But that is a story for another day.

They were both living in a thorny tree. Being autumn, the tree had shed hundreds of leaves ranging in colour from yellow to pink to gold. The shedded leaves had formed a spongy mattress below that beamed a golden glow. It was a soft landing for both – or either – if they decided to leap from the thorny environment they were in up the tree. Who would leap first? After all, there were also numerous thornless trees in the surroundings. Like baby orang-utans, they would have to learn how to bridge gaps between trees, if it was imperative. Unless, of course, they were able to de-thorn the tree on which they were both perched.

He went to work but could not concentrate. Who is G.M.B? - Gallant Madam’s Boyfriend? Did she find my note? Was she surprised? Why hasn’t she called him? He would revisit the matter at a later date, he told himself.

*

THE DISTRICT MAGISTRATE’S COURT – FAMILY DIVISION - PROCEEDINGS

Greg had filed for divorce and children’s custody in this court and the proceedings were slated for today.

Court Clerk: “You Honour, the matter before you is a divorce and children custody suit under the civil procedure code filed by Greg Duncan, the plaintiff, versus Becky Duncan, the defendant.”

Magistrate: “Are both litigants present in court?”

Greg and Becky: in unison, “Yes, Your Honour.”

Magistrate: “Counsel for the plaintiff?”

Counsel 1: “Your Honour, my name is Patrick Lewis. I represent the plaintiff, Greg Duncan.”

Magistrate: “Counsel for the defendant?”

Counsel 2: “Your Honour, my name is Gilbert Martin Brown. I represent the defendant, Becky Duncan. ”

Was this the GMB in the 3.00 a.m. note? Greg mused

Magistrate: "Very well. Please proceed, Counsel 1.”

Counsel 1: “Thank you, Your Honour! The jurisdiction of our prayers is premised on the authority granted to this Honourable Court by the laws of the land. The reliefs my client seeks are, 1. That a Decree of Divorce is granted against the defendant and their existing marital relationship is terminated; 2. That he is granted permanent, physical and legal custody to their two children; 3. That the evidence adduced in this Honourable Court notwithstanding, a DNA paternity test be carried out on the said two minors to further aid the proceedings.

Magistrate: "Any objection to the prayers sought by the plaintiff, Counsel 2?”

Counsel 2: “Your Honour, we object to item 3. It is not part of the filed plaint.”

Becky: “Your Honour, if I may be allowed to speak, I disagree with my counsel on the objection. I will consent to prayer three conditionally. If it pleases the court, I wish to disclose that my counsel, Mr. Brown, is our neighbour. I have always suspected that my husband and Mrs. Brown have been having an affair. And that, Your Honour, is the genesis of the problems bedevilling our family. Of their three children, ages 8, 5, and 2, one of them is a carbon copy of my husband. My condition is, therefore, that the three minors also undergo a DNA test.”

Counsel 2: “What! Your insinuation is preposterous! How dare you?”

Magistrate: "Please, please, counsel, address the Court. It’s a serious allegation alright, but we should not let our emotions overcome our reasoning.”

Counsel 2: “Your Honour, is it in order for my client to impute improper conduct on my family while I am still representing her?”

Magistrate: “Let us put it this way, counsel. This is a family court and we strive to arrive at the fairest decision for the sake of the families, especially the children. Although the proceedings have taken a completely different course from the usual one, I dare say that the end justifies the means. If your family is clean, you have nothing to worry about.”

Both litigants agreed to the DNA tests.

Magistrate: “In that case, and on the consensus arrived at, DNA tests will be conducted on all the five minors and the results tabled before this Court on July the 18^th, during the next session. It is so ordered. Court is adjourned.

*

THE DISTRICT MAGISTRATE’S COURT – FAMILY DIVISION – DNA RESULTS

Magistrate: “All the parties are in attendance. Without further ado, I call upon the expert to table the DNA results.”

Dr. Smith: “Your Honour, I wish to report to this Honourable Court that we faced no challenges in the DNA analyses, which were also conclusive. Both parties were represented by doctors of their choice. And now, the results: Greg Duncan’s family had two minors, ages 7 and 5. The first minor was fathered by Mr. Greg Duncan. The second minor was fathered by Mr. Gilbert Martin Brown. Mr. Gilbert Martin Brown’s family had three children, ages 8, 5, and 2. Minors one and two were fathered by Mr. Gilbert Martin Brown. The youngest minor was fathered by Mr. Greg Duncan.”

Magistrate: “In view of the twists and turns that have unexpectedly sprung up in this matter, it behoves all of us to rise to the challenge. I propose to give you a piece of advice – you are at liberty to accept or decline it – and upon your acceptance, I will suspend these proceedings until a later date. Rome was not built in a day and I don’t intend to give you a silver bullet. However, it can be a silver bullet depending on how each one of you handles my recommendations. You are in a dark room interspersed with black clouds and icy mist. The yonder is painted with gloom and very dim light. But trust me, all this is reversible. Sit down together and discuss not about ‘me’ but ‘us’. Light your best candle, individually and severally, and place it in the middle of the room. I give you one month. Court adjourned.”