Red-eye Voyage

Nola was the first to break the silence. “These pea meatballs aren’t bad, hey?”

“So that’s what they are,” Roman replied.

“What I never understood is why—when no one can get meat anywhere these days—they are still called pea meatballs? And not just… pea-balls,” Bruno chimed in.

Jie snorted.

Marlowe, as usual, had an answer to this question before it was asked. “Pea meatballs hold the form of the once popular dish, ‘meatballs’, which contained ground meat of various origin rolled into small spheres the size of those we are consuming now. Modelled after these meatballs, pea meatballs indicated that pea was used as a meat substitute.”

Roman, caught off guard by a guttural laugh, nearly choked. “Thanks internet, I think we all knew where pea meatballs came from.”

“They were quite the choking hazard,” Marlowe responded, glaring back at them.

“I’ve never had a meatball,” Nola noted.

“Me neither,” said Jie.

Georgie finally spoke up, “Well you wouldn’t ‘ave, would ya! Two of ya look far too young to ‘ave experienced meat proteins at all. Ya’ve probably never even heard of gender.”

They were interrupted by an announcement from the in-flight intercom. “Thank you for travelling with OpenSpace, please enjoy your sustenance on the house.”

“Bit late for that, don’t ya think,” Georgie continued, their plate already empty.

“’Enjoy your sustenance,’” Bruno imitated robotically, “is that what it’s going to be like from here on out? Just sterile, automated, virtual assistants?”

“I’m told the colony has a wealth of human settlers to greet us,” Marlowe replied.

“Why do you call it that? ‘The colony.’ Why not just say it how it is. The Moon. A rock. With no one on it and shit-all for us to do,” snapped Roman.

“Almost no one.” Jie found it important to correct them; it sounded more meek than intended.

“What’s with all the gloom?” Nola asked, chewing a pea meatball, mouth open with a slight smile.

The other five turned to them.

“Why is no one else excited?! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, afforded to us for the first time in human existence!” Nola continued.

The other five continued to stare. Roman scoffed. “Well shit. We’re stuck with—and okay correct me if I’m wrong here—one of those that’re just in it out of… how do I put this nicely… curiosity.”

“Yeup!” Nora retorted with a gleeful smile. Marlowe noticed that they didn’t seem to be bothered by Roman’s judgmental tone.

“Well fuck me,” Roman looked around the table, “okay! Fess up. I’m probably not going to get far from you all up there so please just tell me now, who else is here because they actually want to be?!”

They were met with silence. Nola remained unperturbed. Bruno shook their head. Georgie raised their eyebrows, then burped silently. Marlowe continued to eat methodically, and Jie looked down with a sheepish expression.

Jie spoke first, “I’m… looking for my father.”

No one knew how to respond. More now than to Nola’s excitement, even. Gazes were averted.

After thirty seconds or more, Georgie ventured, “Look darlin’, there really aren’t many up there. I don’t like to be the one who tells ya… but if ya couldn’t find your pops on Earth…” they sighed, “well it’s unlikely they’ve been hiding away up on the Moon.”

“Oh,” Jie blushed, “no, it’s not what you think. My father is a phytologist. Plant scientist. They went up a decade and a half ago to implement the first perpetual food sources for future colonists.”

Looking for my father, Jie had said. “And… you haven’t heard from your father since?” Bruno asked. Their voice, they knew, came out tinged with guilt.

“Well… there are lots of reasons why they wouldn’t have been able to contact me. Early communications were very difficult. Initial colonists couldn’t transmit large amounts of data, and probably only included the essentials.”

Glances were exchanged, but no one spoke.

“Don’t do that,” Jie responded to the silent table, “I believe. I believe that they are waiting for me.”

“I’m sure that your father regrets not making contact with you,” Bruno said empathetically, “I’m sure they were doing their best.”

Marlowe noticed Bruno’s eyes well up at this statement. “Know something about that, do you?” they asked.

Roman rolled their eyes, “we’re not doing this, right? Does it matter why any of us— “

“Let them speak!” Jie defended.

Bruno’s gaze shifted around the room, while they considered for a moment what to say or whether to say it at all. “I don’t… I don’t think they want me there anymore. Not after all the pain I caused them.”

“Who… your family?” Jie asked softly.

Bruno nodded. “I wasn’t there for them,” their voice cracked, “when they needed me most, I wasn’t their for my kids…”

Bruno looked up momentarily; a patient room stared back. “My partner had become ill. That isn’t the start of the story, just where it starts to matter. They couldn’t work anymore. We were told it was terminal, and that we should spend the time that we had together, as a family. Only, we weren’t much of a family before then. We tried anyway. It was nice at first. We became closer, I mean, years together, but now we actually became closer, and we laughed like we hadn’t laughed since we first met. My kids… Sasha and Lira, they handled it like they knew exactly what to do and how to do it. They went to school. Kept up their routine. Made the most of their time at home with us and continued like it was all going to be okay. Knowing, that of course it wouldn’t be okay, and in a few short years they’d lose a parent. And nothing… nothing can prepare you for that.

“A few years is short. But, it’s not that short. And every day, I didn’t feel like I knew how to care for my partner, for my kids. I wasn’t the responsible one, I was usually the loose cannon one. And well… after a time, everything imploded. We didn’t have the funds to both keep our house and pay for treatments. So, we lost the house. I wasn’t working. I felt like I couldn’t get up and go off and do that, you know, but I… I also didn’t get up and take care of my partner. I mostly just didn’t get up at all.

“We were eating nutri-bars. Cheap nutri-bars that my partner, in the last months of their life, would order for our kids to feed them, while I went out and tried to forget that I lived at all. They supported each other. And I was… I was stupid, and I was helpless to stop being stupid. The worst part… the worst part is, I just, I can’t imagine if they’d gone, they’d died, and what if the kids were there, but… but I wasn’t, and that’s exactly what would have—

“But in the end, my partner, Tia, they were alright. Against all odds, they recovered. And I felt so numb. I’m not sure I was happy about it. Or even relieved. I just felt shame. My partner, my kids, they don’t want anything to do with me now, and I don’t blame them.”

Georgie spoke first, “Dear child. And ya think the best idea was to leave, to run to a place ya might never see them again?”

“I… I wasn’t doing any good where I was. Here at least, everyone has something to do. Something they need to do for the good of the group,” Bruno replied.

“Maybe your children will join you one day. Immigrate,” Jie added.

“Maybe.” Bruno smiled weakly, letting tears trickle into their mouth as they sniffled.

“Shit,” Roman added, as empathetically as they knew how.

Nola had a thought, “What’s the difference between colonizing and immigrating? We’ve all only ever been on Earth our whole lives. Are we colonists or immigrants?”

Marlowe, as expected, perked up at this question. “Colonists are the first settlers of a new land. Immigrants arrive at previously settled lands. At one time, both were considered discrete terms when Earth had distinct nations, with colonization facing widespread condemnation in later years, as some nations colonized already inhabited lands.”

“Isn’t that just invasion?” Nola replied.

“And hence, the widespread condemnation,” Marlowe retorted.

“Guess that makes us immigrants,” Nola concluded.

“I suppose so. Although the terms are used interchangeably in modern times,” Marlowe showed the first hint of a smile since boarding the shuttle at this chance for didactic conversation. “You asked who was here because they want to be,” they looked toward Roman, who was staring with boredom at the smooth white ceiling, “I am also here because I want to be. The pay is really quite good for a symbioticist.”

“A what now?” Roman wasn’t even trying to feign interest.

“A symbioticist. I foster relationships.” Marlowe replied proudly.

Roman laughed, hard. And then looked at Marlowe, whose calm fortitude was disarming. Roman smiled, “So you’re like, HR?”

Then it was Marlowe who cracked up. “Actually, yes. But with more psychology.”

“Betcha got some fancy bachelor’s degree for that, huh?” Roman asked, teasing.

“Master’s,” Marlowe corrected, “and what about you?”

“Me? Oh, I barely did the mandatory parts,” Roman retorted, resetting their jaw and leaning away from Marlowe by taking their elbows off the table.

Marlowe simply smiled. “I didn’t mean schooling. I meant, why are you here? What’s waiting on the Moon for you?”

“Nothing’s waiting on the moon for me,” Roman responded, their body language stiff as a plank.

“…and yet nothin’ is left behind,” Georgie chimed in, “I know that look, it’s been on my face more than a few times.”

“Something like that. What’s different about a shitty dead-end job on the Earth or a shitty dead-end job on the Moon, anyhow? At least on the Moon, it counts for something,” Roman said, their words harsh, their shoulders softening. They glanced at Bruno, whose expression was comforting.

“’It counts for something,’” Marlowe leaned forward to meet Roman’s gaze, smirking, “it almost sounds like you’re here because you want to be?”

Georgie chuckled, “Everyone seems to ‘ave a reason to be here! Something to head toward. It’s lookin’ like I am the only one with the reason to leave.”

“And what’s that?” Bruno and Jie said almost simultaneously.

“They need colonists up there. Or immigrants. Or whatever! And for me, it’s either sit behind bars down Earthward, or have half a life up there,” Georgie said casually.

“You’re a criminal?!” Marlowe blurted out.

“You’re on the run?” Bruno clarified.

“Oh yes, and I am commandeering this shuttle,” Georgie spoke slowly and with conviction.

Bruno jumped up. Marlowe felt the blood drain from their face. Nola tried their best to look invisible. Roman tilted their head like they were getting ready for a fight; trying their best to convince themself, mostly.

Only Jie was snickering. Then chortling. Then laughing quite loudly at an otherwise silent table.

Jie looked at Georgie, and Georgie broke. Georgie had one of those thunderous laughs. The laugh that makes everyone feel that their laughter, however booming, or high-pitched, or strange, is okay. And so, they all laughed.

“I mostly just stole from a lotta rich people,” Georgie added finally, “so they send me somewhere no one with any money would ever wanna go!”

“What do you think it will be like?” Nola asked.

“The ads say a welcoming new home.” Jie replied.

“Yeah,” Roman snorted, “but the ads are bullshit.”

“It looks like a desolate wasteland from here,” Bruno said from the window at the bow.

“I’m sure the people are welcoming. Still, it is a desolate wasteland,” Marlowe admitted.

“How can something so beautiful be desolate?” Nola considered.

“It’s not desolate. Even if I don’t find my father…” Jie started.

“We’ll be there,” Roman and Marlowe said, in perfect harmony.