"In Search of Home"

Desmond is loyal, patient, kind. Desmond listens, he holds you, he wipes away the tears. Desmond is everything you could wish to have in a best friend. Desmond is a good boy, middle-aged- seven years old in human years. Desmond is also a black Golden Retriever. His buddy is Arney- a white human male, single. They live in a house that is small, but perfect for the two of them. Desmond grew up with Arney- he’s known him since he was a little pup, the runt of the family. But Desmond hasn’t seen Arney in two days, and this confuses him. They have a schedule: four o’clock post meridiem, Arney arrives home; Desmond runs to the door and Arney sits on the floor with him and they laugh and play for a period of around five to ten minutes- this depends on Arney’s mood. But yesterday, instead of Arney coming through the door, Arney’s annoying sister entered inside. Desmond does not like Arney’s sister because she only feeds him food and lets him outside to go to the bathroom- and watches! She barely pets him, only “courtesy pets” to acknowledge his existence- as if he were stupid enough not to know what she was really doing. And when Desmond jumps on her, she yells at him to “get off” of her, as if he was attacking her. Then today, the sister came back and took Desmond away from his home. He was excited and willing at first because he thought he was going to see Arney again, but instead, they arrived at this strange house where the sister unpacked every item of Desmond’s. And he knew he wasn’t going home, not for a while, at least. 

Four nights pass in this dim house that, even with light, keeps a constant blue overtone to it. The sister has a husband, but they don’t really talk, all she does is cry. The husband is always at the “office” or on the phone and there is an incessant screaming baby that somehow both the sister and husband seem to easily ignore. That baby is definitely the sister’s because Desmond does not like it and it does not like Desmond. It’s creepy because it has even less hair than the sister and husband and has no teeth. It also sneaks up on Desmond and tugs at his ears and tail- abuse! Tonight, as every night, the sister is crying on the floor of her bedroom, the door slightly ajar. But unlike every night, Desmond comes to comfort her. She is resistant at first, timid, but she leans into Desmond and holds him and cries. She clutches an old t-shirt that smells like Arney. It works because she settles down and releases him and he licks the tears away from her cheek and she does not yell at him or shrivel her nose- she smiles. Then Desmond walks back downstairs and a sliver of yellow emits from a crack in the door. The husband must not have closed it all the way. This is Desmond’s chance and he has to go now since he hears the sister coming down the stairs. So he runs out. He runs as the baby cries again, the husband still talks on the phone, apathetic, but the sister runs and calls after him, but he doesn’t stop. He has to find Arney again. He doesn’t know where he is or where he is going, but he runs down the onyx streets, blending in with the shadows, only visible in the lamp posts’ dim orange light. 

After running all night, the sun begins to peek its head over the horizon, and Desmond decides to rest and think. Then he remembers the woods. The woods is where Arney and Desmond would play hide and seek- maybe he is playing right now and Desmond has to find him- but Desmond was never any good at the game because he didn’t want to lose Arney, but now he’s lost. He should have watched him more carefully. So, Desmond runs to the woods, not sure of how he finds it, but he does. He runs in and out of every tree, looks under every hiding spot, calls Arney’s name, but nothing. Then Desmond remembers the lake. The lake is where they would play catch in the water. It is a nice lake, too, because it is secluded and not many people know of it. Maybe Arney fell asleep on the beach again, or maybe he is floating in the water to get his mind off of everything. So, Desmond runs to the lake. But Arney’s not there either. Desmond looked all along the shore, he swam to see if Arney was further out in the water or sank. Then Desmond remembers long drives. Arney loves long drives on those everlasting empty roads next to the fields that stretch out until they blend with the horizon. Maybe Arney is driving down one of those roads or maybe he pulled over just to sit and stare at the perpetual, vast vacancy of the fields. But Arney is not there, either. He barks Arney’s name again, but no response, no sign. Desmond had checked the sister’s house over and over again during those four days, so he isn’t there. either The last place Desmond can think of is home. So, he runs down the twilight street in search of Arney, but it’s hard to see and it’s rainy and then Desmond sees a flash of light and the honk of a horn and he tries to move away, but it’s too late. 

Memories flash through his mind from when he was a tiny puppy to now. And then Desmond remembers what happened. 

Six days earlier: Arney and Desmond were on a nice, long drive down one of the perpetually empty roads. Arney was smiling and driving, Desmond was in the passenger’s seat with the window down. It was sunset and twilight and no lamp posts were alongside the road. Arney was getting tired, having stayed up really late the night prior preparing for a work presentation. He wasn’t staying on his side of the road, he was cruising in the middle. But it was okay because the road is always empty. He was happy and calm, so he leaned his head back, he closed his eyes, he eased his hands up and away from the steering wheel, he was in a utopia. Then a car came rushing towards them, Arney tried to swerve, but was not successful enough. Desmond crawled out of the car, sideways on the road, and tried to keep Arney awake. He licked his face and he smiled. 

“Desmond…” And he closed his eyes and the ambulance came and they took him away, leaving Desmond behind on the road. So, Desmond walked home and waited for Arney’s return. 

Desmond’s wet, black body lays on the road. And it’s hard to tell if it is a tear or the rain, but Desmond has a look in his eyes, a kind of smile. And knows when his spirit floats up, he will run, jump, dance in excitement, thrilled to finally see Arney again. And Arney will see him and he will see Arney and he’ll jump up on him and he will sit on the floor like a good boy and laugh and cry as he pets him. Desmond knows he can’t live with Arney; that wouldn’t be a life. So, he lets go.