An Interview with Bigfoot

~~~~~~~~~The Times Intelligencer Journal~~~~~~~~

Thursday, August 28th, 2025

BIGFOOT FOUND

How a Hiking Disaster Turned into First Contact

Described as “Humble, Peaceful, Intelligent Creatures”

The Back-channel Treaty with the US Government

In Lifestyle: a Conversation with the Bigfoot at the Center of the Story

By James Spektator and Edith Afix

Around 9:00 AM on May 27th, 2025, a lone backpacker named Jim was walking the Horseshoe Trail in Redwood National Park. The path is a strenuous one, with several uphill stretches, and on this cool, misty spring morning, Jim hasn’t seen another human in over an hour. The foliage is dense on this part of the hike, the bright noontime sun dimmed by the giant trees which surround him. But Jim is an experienced outdoorsman, this isn’t even his first journey on this particular trail.

But even the best hikers suffer the occasional fall. For Jim, one misplaced foot on a patch of mud saw him tumble into a ravine. Jim landed awkwardly and in great pain. He quickly realized his leg was broken. He was miles from the nearest ranger station. Walking out appeared impossible.

Jim reached for his phone: the battery read “3%”. He desperately texted his girlfriend, then father, just a few words for each: “Injured on horseshoe trail, redwood.” Then he dialed 911.

Jim’s breath grew fast as he listened for the phone’s ring, the indication that he could still reach the wider world, that he wouldn’t die alone in the wilderness he loved. He almost cried out in relief when an operator picked up on the other end. But the connection was loose, Jim had to repeat his situation several times. When the call cut out completely, Jim was confident the operator had all the information she needed to dispatch a rescue team. Still, over several minutes, panic set it.

His leg was bleeding badly, scraped by rocks on his tumble down the hillside. What if he fell unconscious? Would a rescue team be able to find him? What if he’d given poor directions? He should text someone else, give more information, but the little indicator read 0%, and went dark just as he sent a text to his sister.

Jim began to cry. “I thought this might be my final view of the world, looking down up from a ravine to the misty slope above. I thought my last conversation would be with a 911 operator. Something about that cut straight to my soul.”

He cried out in despair, a simple, short “Help!” Jim didn’t expect anyone to reply, having not seen another human in an hour and unsure of the acoustics of the ravine in which he lay. Yet, from the mist, a figure emerged. Jim remembers: “I thought I must be hallucinating. They were huge and hairy, easily seven feet tall. It was like something out of a kid’s picture book… or a horror movie.”

The hairy giant came within ten feet. Then it did the most unexpected thing, it spoke in perfect English: “May I be of assistance?” it said in a deep alto voice.

Jim discovered it’s possible to run on a broken leg, at least for a bit. Adrenaline took over and he soon found himself stumbling along the ravine, and would have fallen over a sheer cliffside… if a pair of strong, hairy arms hadn’t caught him first. As the tall creature carried him up the side of the ravine and laid him next to the trail, Jim lost consciousness.

What happened next kicked off one of the most extraordinary tales in human history. For the creature that had assisted Jim was, in fact, a bigfoot, or “tree ape” of legend. This bigfoot’s name was Aarooroo, and she waited with Jim ‘til paramedics arrived.

The US/Bigfoot Treaty

What followed over the coming months was a series of interviews, meetings, and guidelines worked out between the elders of the bigfeet (surprisingly what they prefer to be called) and officials of California and the US government.

It turns out these intelligent creatures hadn’t been hiding from or avoiding humans. They were just living their lives well off the beaten path. As one Bigfoot elder tells it: “This is a big country. The forest is a big place. And sure, we’ve kept away from your cities and population centers. But we knew this day would come. We hope that we can continue to live in peace.”

The treaty, which will go live later this week on USA.gov, outlines the new relationship between our two species. The treaty, only four pages and fifteen hundred words, specifies how human/bigfoot interactions should go… and how they shouldn’t. The federal government provided the Times Intelligencer Journal with an exclusive preview of the document.

What the treaty stresses is that communication between our species should be “cordial, calm, respectful, and rare.” One negotiator who helped author the document, UN ambassador Claire Becoup, described the bigfoot delegation as “humble, peaceful, intelligent creatures. If we learn to respect them, they will respect us.”

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HUNT BIGFOOT

The key terms of the treaty relate to contact between humans and bigfeet. “Human/bigfoot gatherings should be tranquil and polite.” and “If someone seeks a meeting with a bigfoot or multiple bigfeet, they should petition their state or national government.” Perhaps the most ominous phrases from this section: “Do not stray from roads and paths in the Pacific Northwest under penalty of felony prosecution. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HUNT BIGFOOT.” This is the only section of the treaty in which all capitalization is used.

Other sections of the treaty outline what limited social interaction the bigfoot community expects. “One cross-cultural festival per year, likely in the autumn, can be negotiated.” And there are allowances for “Limited means of societal communication, perhaps through the internet.” The treaty includes no mechanism or timetable for how and when these exchanges might occur.

Early Reactions

Reactions to the rumored cross-species negotiation run the gamut: from joy, to shrugs, to annoyance and disbelief.

Academics, particularly anthropologists and evolutionary scientists, have shown the most interest. “A hitherto unknown species of intelligent ape! Who have their own culture! Who can speak English! I can barely resist the urge to buy a plane ticket and head over there right now!” Wendell Baker, an anthropologist at Oxford said after reading a preliminary report. “Every single person on earth should be excited about this!”

Unfortunately for Professor Baker, evidence indicates this isn’t the case. According to a Rollop Survey on rumors of government meetings with the once-thought mythical creatures, 25% of respondents were “excited” or “happy”, 13% were “sad” or “angry”, 4% were “confused” and 55% were “indifferent.” Street interviews have given voice to this lack of interest: “Why should I care if some ape has big feet and can talk?” One woman replied, “My husband has big feet and no one wants to meet him.”

Perhaps the strongest negative reaction came from the most ardent bigfoot believers: “It’s just another government bait-and-switch,” Malakai Nelson of the show Sasquatch Trackers said. “Get us looking in the wrong place. Get us thinking they’ve solved the issue of bigfoot. We know they’re hiding the real story.”

This is the most common opinion of the wider community of sasquatch fans: now that bigfoot has been found, met, and negotiated with, they don’t buy it. And with the terms of the treaty presenting legal hurdles to attempts at meeting bigfoot in person, this may not change anytime soon.

More to the Story

When the federal government releases the treaty next week, turn to The Times Intelligencer Journal for a full breakdown and analysis, as well as interviews, poll results, even bigfoot-themed crosswords and games.

For an interview with the bigfoot mentioned in this article, see Lifestyle E1

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Lifestyle

This Bigfoot Mother is Living Big Time in a Humble Way

The Times Intelligencer Journal earned an interview with the bigfoot who saved a man’s life on a Redwood National Park trail. Her name is Aarooroo, and she invited our Lifestyle writer, Andrea Dialo, to her home carved into the trunk of an enormous redwood tree.

Aarooroo is a stunning person, with inch-long chestnut fur covering her entire body with just a touch of grey around her hands and temples. Her voice is a deep alto with a slight lilt toward the end of each sentence. Her eyes are caramel in color; full of sympathy and the wear of a long but happy life.

The entrance to Aarooroo’s home lies ten feet off the ground, and I required her assistance to reach it despite the hand-holds. Her arboreal home proves as welcoming as its hostess. The walls are lined with furs dyed in vibrant reds and yellows. And copious shelves house a variety of pottery in darker shades bearing images of forest creatures.

There’s no internal heating, but the fur-lined walls prove insulating against the cool late summer air, and Aarooroo served up nutmeg biscuits and a root-infused herbal drink with just a hint of bitterness. See Food, G1, for the recipes.

Thank you for hosting me, and for agreeing to this interview. I love the way you’ve decorated the place.

Thank you! The furs are beaver, accumulated over forty years. The pottery came from friends. We regularly meet and exchange art.

May I ask what you prefer to be called? I’ve heard bigfoot.

Bigfoot, yes. That’s not too different from what we call ourselves. We know we’re big. And, compared to local animals, our feet are relatively the biggest part of us.

So not sasquatch?

No, that sounds gross. And “tree ape” is so clinical.

And for plural: Bigfeet or Bigfoots or…

Oh, definitely bigfeet. Bigfoots hardly rolls off the tongue.

You’ve been so open, and welcoming. We traditionally think of bigfeet as mysterious creatures who hide and keep away.

That reputation is well-earned. Despite our size and strength, we understand how vulnerable we are to human hunters and soldiers.

Where did you learn English?

Television.

May I ask about what started all this? You helped a hiker who was injured on a trail. Would you tell me about what happened?

Oh certainly. I don’t think I saved the gentleman, but I was happy to help. There have been imperiled humans on that trail before, and help has always come in time. But his cries sounded so sad. He reminded me of my own children, back when they were babies. I worried he’d fall unconscious and they wouldn’t find him. But when I went to assist, he ran away, and I panicked. I had to catch him and bring him to safety. And I couldn’t leave his side then, not when I almost scared him into even more danger.

When the paramedics arrived, you can imagine how surreal it must have felt for them. But they did their jobs. By the time they had him on the stretcher they were even asking me questions about what had happened. We all muddled through as best we could. Such professionals. But like I said, I couldn’t leave that man in such distress. I just couldn’t.

Because of your experience as a mother?

I think so. My children mean everything to me. I’m past the age of having more, and they’ve grown up to love what they do. I have one son who’s an artist. And a daughter who’s the best gatherer for fifty miles. Then another daughter who insulates homes: she redid this tree just a month back. Can you tell how warm it stays in here?

Oh yes. Very cozy but somehow not stuffy at all.

Yes. Yes! That’s a little flue system running through the north wall. Keeps the air flow. I don’t understand how it works. But I’m sad to say, my children were all a bit leery of my meeting with you. I’m hoping to prove that friendship with humans is possible.

Is it taboo to meet with humans?

Our society doesn’t have a hard rule about such meetings, but it’s always been discouraged. No one is angry with me though. I think we all knew this time was coming, that humans would find us or we’d reveal ourselves to you. We’re mostly glad things have worked out so far. Things could easily have spiraled out of control.

In what way?

Well, humans are so renowned for hunting. And for controlling other animals. We’ve seen your farms, the way you employ dogs and horses. We may be bigger but what your society is capable of…

Do humans scare you?

Sometimes. I mean, the treaty gives me hope. But at any moment there could be a wave of tourism to the area. A friend claimed he saw more humans on nearby trails recently… but no one’s come wandering deep into the forest yet.

I’ve also learned about a human word that’s strange to us: war. I’ve heard tales so wild they could hardly be imagined, about thousands of men sent into battle against each other, each man with a gun in his hand. How can such scale and brutality even be possible?

We can be aggressive. Many of our stories, books and movies, carry the message: “Humans are the real monsters.”

We have a similar saying!

Our people have so much in common!

We both see how dangerous you are!

Oh. But, do you think the treaty will work? Do you think you’ll be safe?

What can we do but hope? If we need to move deeper into the forest, we can do that. We stayed secure for this long, kept ourselves separate. I think we could do it again.

I hope you don’t need to!

Yes but… don’t you think they’ll come for us eventually? Hunters, or government agents, or “mad scientists”? Isn’t that what they do? If humans arrive with violence in their hearts… if they dedicate themselves to routing us out of our homes despite the treaty, I don’t know what we’ll do. There are human organizations who’ve been searching for us for a long time, though they’ve mostly looked in the wrong places.

I may have good news on this front. We receive letters at our paper, messages and so forth from citizens all over the country. And the prevailing emotions regarding bigfeet are… disbelief and indifference. Many wonder why anyone would care at all. Then other people think the government invented you guys as a distraction from “the economy.” Many think you’re a “hoax.”

They think we’re a hoax?

Yes. In fact, many of those “Bigfoot Hunter” types were among the first to claim you guys weren’t real.

That’s oddly comforting. But at the same time… I’ll never understand the human mind.

You and me both!

Ha ha ha!

Thank you so much for welcoming me into your home!

Thank you so much for brightening my home! I must admit I came into this interview apprehensive. I feel so much better now. Maybe there’s hope for all of us.

Read next week’s Lifestyle section for part 2 of the interview, in which Aarooroo and I discuss what it’s like to live in a forest vs. a city, the best mosses to gather, existential dread, and artistic ways to furnish a home.