Blind Courage

Blind Courage

             My heart pounded painfully against my ribs, and my blood roared in my ears. It was difficult to drag air past my parted lips to ease the building pressure in my lungs. Each step I took was one step further away from the safety and comfort of my home and one step closer to the dangerous, unforgiving world. I stumbled onward down the forest trail. It would take me to the road which in turn led to the town full of people who despised my existence.

The sharp CRACK of a stick under my foot froze me in place. My breathing quickened, and my heart felt as if it was going to beat itself out of my chest. I tried in vain to hold back the onslaught of memories that washed over me. Crack! Crack! Crack! The sound of the whip echoed through my mind, sounding so real I instinctively reached back to touch the scars lining my back.

“I’m going to whip the demon out of you, Demon boy.” The sneering words sounded so real I cringed back into a tree. I slid down the tree, collapsed to the forest floor, and let memories of the past wash painfully through me.

             It was only two years ago when I was kidnapped and beaten for being born blind. I was raised by my mother outside of the little town where we bought supplies. She had grown up in that town but had been excommunicated for conceiving a “Demon’s Spawn” as everyone liked to call me. I grew up only interacting with my mother. Everything I know was taught patiently to me by her. I learned how to walk around by using a stick my mother carefully carved for me from a branch of a tree. For years, I asked her why I couldn’t interact with the kids I sometimes heard running through the forest, laughing and playing far off in the distance, and why the kids who did get close enough called me a demon’s Spawn.

I can still hear her sweet voice gently consoling me as she wiped a tear from my cheek. “my sweet boy, it is because everyone in the town is too scared to except when something is different from them. It is nothing you have done; it is just people being closeminded.” I had felt so lonely for so long. I wished for more… more of what, I wasn’t sure.

             Two years ago, I had begged my mom to take me with her to pick up supplies, and she finally relented. I was so very excited. I helped her carry armloads of our home-grown vegetables that we used to trade for necessary supplies.

From the moment we entered the town, we were followed by angry murmuring. “That boy shouldn’t be allowed to take a single step into our town.”

“He’s evil, isn’t he?”

“Why is the demon child here?”

I was so happy to be in a new place; I didn’t pay attention to the whispers. I was excitedly babbling to mom about all the fantastic and questionable smells when everything went wrong. I went to take a step and my foot caught on a crack in the road. I went flying into a fruit seller’s cart, and all the contents spilled on to the ground.

“I am so sorry! I am so sorry! We will find a way to pay back all your fruit.” Mom apologized profusely to the fruit seller, but it was fruitless.

I sat up and rubbed the back of my head. I felt terrible for causing so much chaos. The fruit seller’s shouting was making my head throb. “WHY DID YOU BRING THAT DEMON SPAWN HERE TO CAUSE SO MUCH DAMN TROUBLE!”

Mom was stammering out a response when a strong hand wrapped around my arm and roughly poled me to my feet. “The boy will be coming with me.”

“Please, don’t take my boy. He didn’t mean to cause anyone harm.” My mom sounded like she was going to cry.

“I didn’t mean to knock over the fruit cart.” I told them softly. A sharp pain erupted on the side of my head.

“Don’t hurt my boy!” Mom screamed.

“If you know what is good for you, which, you’ll stay back!” Another voice said angerly.

“Let’s go, boy.” The first speaker dragged me forward.

“Where are we going?” I asked. Another sharp pain erupted on the side of my head. I learned to be quiet after that. The sound of my mother’s cries slowly fated into the distance.

             Soon, the smell of delicious food and fresh vegetables faded away and was replaced by the smell of horses. I know this smell because a horse once trotted pass my house and mom told me what it was. There were many other smells I couldn’t identify, but they were all yucky. The bruising grip on my arm was starting to hurt, but I didn’t dare say anything for fear of being hit again. Several other sets of footsteps were following along behind us. How many people hated me for being myself?

“You should have stayed away from this town,” one of the followers said into the tromping silence.

Fear started to set in. I didn’t know what these men were going to do to me, but it didn’t sound pleasant. A few minutes later, I sensed walls on either side of me. The man with the iron grip on my arm shoved me to the floor. All of the men laughed and one of them delivered a vicious kick to my side.

“You are going to receive the treatment you deserve, Demon Boy.” The men closed the door with a SLAM of finality and left me there, curled on my side and trying to hold back the flood of tears.

             I just didn’t understand. Why did I have to be born so different from everyone else? I just wanted to go back to my safe, little house and laugh with my mom. The fruit cart had been an accident. Why hadn’t anyone believed me? I don’t know how long I laid there, curled into a ball and crying. I eventually fell into a restless sleep.

Crack! Crack! Crack! I startled awake. “Ready to play, little Demon?” The voice of the man who had dragged me here sneered.

“Please don’t hurt me anymore,” I begged them, knowing they would not listen. “I just want to go back to my mom and get some food.”

“Don’t worry, Demon boy, you will see your mom again, after I am done playing with you.” Pain seared across my back.

I cried out but the man just laughed. The pain came again. All I could do was curl up even tighter and scream into the fist that I jammed into my mouth. The thin t-shirt I was wearing did nothing to dull the stinging pain.

“This is the treatment you deserve, Demon Boy. You should be thanking me for trying to beat the demon out of you.” Not really knowing what he meant, I just buried my face in my arms and screamed and screamed as the lashing continued. I could feel my skin being ripped off with every lash the man inflicted. Soon, I couldn’t even hear what the man was saying anymore. All I could hear was my screams and the crack, crack, crack of the whip. Slowly, everything faded into a dull, numb void, and I lost consciousness.

I woke up a few times over the next few days to men kicking and beating me, but it felt like it was happening to someone else. I just kept fading in and out—never able to hold on to full consciousness.

I woke up in my house feeling broken in every way possible. Mom was hovering over me, gently washing me with a cloth. Pain flared every time she touched my body. My mom had found me on her doorstep three days after I was taken away from her.

I was dragged from my memories by an angry bird chirping right above my head. I shook myself, grabbed my stick, and continued down the trail. Mom had passed away about five months ago. She had grown sick and worsened quickly. We didn’t have the money to get her help, and one morning I woke to find her body on the couch, cold and unresponsive. I buried her in the woods with as much love and care as I could convey. She had sacrificed her life of comfort in the town to love and care for me. She was the only other soul who had accepted me, and now, bless her heart, she was gone.

I had lived off of left-over supplies until now, dreading the time when I would be forced to go to town. That time was now. It was either face all my fears at once, or starve. I hadn’t taken a step outside the house sense that day two years ago. I couldn’t step outside my house without my heart trying to beat out of my chest. I couldn’t hear a loud sound and not curl into myself. That is why I came to an instant stand still when voices caried to me on the still air.

“Men, we are going to have fun tonight! This town does not have any form of protection nearby. It will be simple to take over.” A large group of people cheered. Fear gripped me. Should I go and warn the towns people?

“They never cared about you so why should you care about them?” A voice inside my head reasoned, but mom always told me that if I lowered myself to the level of others, I wouldn’t be any better than them.” Even my mom’s words struggled to push away the death grip of my fear. It would be hard to take a step back into the town that had inflicted so much pain on me. But, as much as I hated those people, I couldn’t just stand by and let them get killed. My mind made up, I hurried down the trail and came to the road.

             I ran the half mile to the town and fearfully followed the first voice I heard.

“Excuse me.” I said in a small voice.

“Why are you here, Demon Boy?” The voice sounded like one of the men who had beaten me two years ago.

I swallowed my fear. “I am here to warn you. Bandits are on their way. They will be here soon and you must prepare.”

The man just laughed.

“What do we have here?” The sneering voice of my kidnapper from two years ago asked. I shivered. I would never forget that voice.

“This boy is claiming that bandits are coming.” The other man laughed again. A small crowd had gathered to observe the exchange and heap ridicule upon me.

“I don’t believe the blind Demon Boy.” A voice shouted from the crowd.

“Come on, Demon boy, just leave and stop bringing trouble to where you are not welcome.”

Anger surged in my chest. I shouldn’t have come to warn these ungrateful people. For once, mom had been wrong. I started to turn away but a heavy hand landed on my shoulder.

“Did you not learn your lesson from the beating we gave you two years ago, Demon Boy?” One of my captors whispered in my ear. Fear shot through me.

“I am just trying to warn all of you about the bandits who will be coming to rob the town.” My words fell on deaf ears.

“I think this boy is trying to mess with us. How about we show him what happens to those who try to mess with us?” That statement was met with laughter from the crowd.

“All of you are cowards! Why do you hate me for being different? I am trying to help you, yet all you do is hurt me. Just know, I tried to warn you!” I shouted as I was being dragged off.

“Did you just threaten us?” One of the men kicked me to the floor.

“I am just telling you the truth! I am not trying to threaten anyone.” I struggled to crawl away. Each blow hurt more than the last. I tried to bring my arm up to protect my face, but it just got stomped on repeatedly until I heard a terrible snap. Tears poured down my face. Finally, a vicious kick to my head knocked me out cold.

             I came to on the forest floor. Terrible sounds assaulted my ears. Women and children screaming. Men laughing. The smell of blood was thick in the air. I curled up like I had done some many times before and sobbed. I cried for myself, for my blindness and the unfairness of it all, for my mom, and for the women and children in that town. I tried to warn them, I tried. But it hadn’t made a difference in the end.

I laid there until the sounds faded away, and I was surrounded by blissful silence. I didn’t have the energy or strength to even move, never mind return to my house, so I just laid there in my pain and my gratitude that it was all over for me.

I was awoken by a soft voice. “Hey, honey. What is your name? What happened here?” There were so many questions, but I just didn’t have the strength to answer them. “It’s ok, sleep child. We will take care of you now.” I blacked out again after those words.

The next time I woke up I was in an unfamiliar place and there were too many sounds to filter through my tired brain. I stretched before I remembered the terrible injuries I had fallen asleep with. To my surprise, I felt almost no pain. Shock coursed through me at how much better I was doing. Had someone other than my mother actually helped me?

“Hey there, child. I am glad to see you are awake. I am Doctor Goran, and you are in good hands now. I am so deeply sorry at how much you have been through. You must be so tired and scared, but please don’t worry.” She put a gentle hand on my bandaged forehead. “Through my examinations, I have discovered you are blind. If you need anything, anything at all, just ask me or one of the nurses and we will help you. But for now, you should rest. You have been through so much.”

I smiled softly to myself. She had no idea. She left the room and I gazed toward the ceiling. One thought drifted across my tired mind. She knew I was blind but hadn’t called me a demon. Maybe I was in a better place and in better hands, as she said. I was very confused at how the world worked, but I was also so very tired. I relaxed into the silk sheets to rest as instructed and fell into a deep, calm sleep.