Some people don't think before they wish the reason I say this is that I knew someone who got their family killed now, these were nice people but the daughter had anger issues she didn't get physical she just said horrible stuff if she didn't get her way. Before I tell you the story, I should tell you how I met them. One day I was going for a daily walk and as I walked back home when I was about half a block away I saw some unfamiliar people moving in. I walked up to the family as the daughter was throwing a fit, saying “I don’t have to help, you don't matter to me bit-” after that last word slipped out her mouth, her mom as I assume was wearing a horse racing shirt and blue jeans smacked her straight in the mouth. I approached the family and asked if they needed help the mom replied with “sure sir, what might your name be”
“Howard, Howard Lombardi, what about you, miss,”
“I am Kathryn, my husband over there, the one wearing a Hawaiian button up and cargo shorts is David and my daughter the girl i just slapped is Skyler, we are the Wilsons,”
I replied okay and continued helping. As some workers and I placed the last boxes down I said “I’ll see you guys later” as I said that they requested I sit down and have a drink. I replied “sure, why not”. As we sat on their couch, we got to talking suddenly, Kathryn asked, “are you married”
I replied, “not anymore my wife died in a car crash,”
“I’m sorry,”
“It’s fine, how long have you guys been married?”
“12-years about to be 13,”
“That's nice,”
“It really isn't” David playfully said. As we sat there, talking, her husband fell asleep, so I left, and they went to bed.
Before I go on, I should tell you about the daughter. I don't want you to think she was an awful kid, She just had problems like PTSD because when she was younger she saw a man get shot and the depression and anxiety didn't help, so she says some hurtful shit. A week or two after they moved in Skyler was helping me with some gardening and I got to know her. The next day she came up to my house and offered to help with mowing my lawn and cleaning my car I told her I would have to talk to her family, so we walked to her house and I said their daughter came up to my house offering to help with yard work and cleaning my car her mom said “come in, and we’ll talk about it” we all sat down and Kathryn asked Skyler if we could talk alone, so Skyler walked away, and we talked. The mom politely told me Skyler has problems, and I replied “they can't be that bad and it might help her” then she proceeded to tell me that Skyler has PTSD (she told me the same shit I said at the beginning) after that we continued talking about how it could help her, and we agreed that she could work for me.
The next day was the first day she helped me with cleaning my car, and she walked away mid job I'm not one to argue so i just finished the job and consulted her parents, and they said, “she told us she finished your car”
“Well sorry to come to you with this, but she walked away mid job and since im not one to argue over stupid shit I thought I’d let you deal with her”
“Well, thank you for not arguing we really appreciate it”
“You’re really welcome now y'all go on and have a good day”
As we both parted ways I went home and turned on the news and heard a man stole from a church (what has this goddamn world came to) I thought to myself on the couch, but a very particular news story caught my eye it was about a killer who calls himself the wisher going around Maine and if he heard someone say “I wish this person would die” he would kill them that night the reason it caught my eye was because they said he was mainly killing in Maine, but his most recent kill was in Greyhaven, not too far from where I lived. For the next week or so, I was stressing over this killer, killing that kind family even though Skyler wasn't the nicest. She kinda had a good reason, but one day I went down to see if they heard of the killer. When she opened the door, the look of despair washed across her face
“What's wrong” I asked concerned
“Come in, so we can talk” she said calmly
So I walked in, and we sat down on their leather couches
“What’s going on” I asked frantically
“The guy they were talking about on the news, the wisher is the worst thing out right now because Skyler tells us that she wishes we would die but it's more worrying since he could be here at any time” she said in a scared and worried tone
“Don't worry, I'll be sure to keep you guys safe,” I declared.
For a couple months or so, we were all worried until the day came.
One day Skyler came running up my road frantically when she reached me she gave me a hug “their dead, their both dead because of me” she cried as tears ran down her face
“what , who. Come in, and we’ll talk about it”
So we went in and talked
“M-My parents their dead” she stuttered
“How Skyler explain, explain what happened” I shouted
“O-Ok, last night my parents and I got in an argument and I wished for them to be dead and this morning after I had a dream of them dying in a car crash when I woke up and went to their room crying no one was there but I heard someone downstairs in the kitchen, so I ran down and there was this man wearing a white ski mask, but it was a part of his skin, and he was wearing a black suit in the kitchen standing over both my parents' bodies, as I tried sneaking away, he ran up to me and grabbed the back of my shirt and said be careful what u wish for than I ran over here” she told me as tears ran down her face I gave her a hug, as I gave her a hug I felt something stab my back as i fainted a sinister smile ran across her face as she told me while i still had consciousness
“The reason he hasn't been caught is because he's a demon, he can't be caught only ones with a power called the wish can summon him and i had to kill you to keep the power and fulfill the prophecy” and as i died the last words i heard were
“His name is Azoth”.
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5 comments
Critique circle You have a problem with run on sentences. I don't know if it is deliberate, the style of the 1st person, but it is hard to follow. Your first sentence is functionally four sentences with no periods between them. Start a new paragraph every time you change speakers. Their and they're mean different things. Check which you want because spellcheck won't generally catch that problem. You have a decent story concept, but the grammar problems make it hard to keep track. At least once, I got confused about who said what and ...
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thank you for the critiquing i will proudly work on any issue that happens to be in this story
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Wow, that’s powerful. I’d like the ending to be expanded on a bit. I had a hard time following her reasons for killing him, but overall a great story!
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thank you for the feed back i will work on the ending a bit. i have never really particularly been great at endings.
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Great job loved the story
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