A simple word

Goodbye.

It’s just a simple word, but he’s never understood how difficult it is to actually say it until now. Until now, he’s never had to say goodbye to someone. 

Now, he’s been confronted with the hardship of it all. How every second that isn’t being used only leads to less time. How any inconveniences can only give you less time to do what you’ve been wanting to do, yet still dreaded. How saying the difficult yet easy word meant that this is the end.

He tried to keep a smile on his face anytime she's around, one that doesn’t resemble a saddened one, but it was difficult when the only thing that was on his mind was an objective to tell someone he’s loved the simple word “goodbye”.

On his final day, he tried to commence the goodbye conversation, but he found it unbelievably difficult when everyone was there as well, partying with loud and horrible music in the back. 

“Hey,” he began before getting cut off by some old friends of hers. Her attention went from him to the others immediately. A sigh escaped his lips. 

“Can we talk?” He says once he managed to catch her with no one else, but he was quickly cut off by her friends who whisper something in her ear, followed by a giggle. 

He wasn’t even able to let a word out before a bunch of popular guys shoved past him and she quickly moved on to go talk to some others.

There were a few moments where he said goodbye to her, but the blaring music had made it impossible for her to hear.

He hated this. 

He hated this so much it was crazy to him.

Over and over. He was interrupted over and over and he could barely manage to keep it together as anger boiled inside him, but he reminded himself that it was not her fault. It was no one’s. Only his for waiting till the last second to say the dreaded word.

“Goodbye,” he reminds himself with a clenched fist at his side.

But as much as he didn’t want to, a feeling of sadness swallowed him whole as he realized his time was slipping away. He groaned and took note at how horribly everything was going.

His final moment with her was lost as he walked over to his car, ready to head home and leave.  

The sound of his car starting set a horrible feeling in his chest, and the quiet radio in the back only annoyed him. He mumbled a curse under his breath as his sight became blurry.

He started playing scenes of him just waltzing inside and yelling out goodbye, but that was awfully stupid. He shut his eyes slowly for a second before he began pulling out.

He immediately stopped as soon as he saw her running outside of the place. A huge smile was plastered on her face as she walked over to his car and tapped on the window when she got there. 

“I didn’t get to say goodbye!” She said, a little loudly. He chuckled softly, a tint of sadness behind it.

How stupidly ironic was that.

“I’m sorry,” he began, fighting the knot that was growing in his throat quickly.

“You were busy all night. I was trying to tell you something important, but I couldn’t,” he chuckled again to ease any tenseness that was inevitably gonna happen. The girl's smile drops quickly, guiltiness overtaking her emotions. 

“Really? I’m sorry, truthfully. So much was happening and I-“ she began to ramble, a habit she had that he never really grew tired of, but he had to cut her off this time.

“I’m leaving. Tonight, I’m leaving and I’m moving to a different state. I’ve been trying to tell you goodbye all night, but I probably should have another time. It was kind of hard though,” he rubbed the back of his neck as a nervous smile crept onto his face, “It hurts really bad having to, so I waited till tonight. So, goodbye I guess.” 

Her reaction was confusing. From her eyebrows raised and pinched together, to her biting her lips and looking up as if she was thinking. 

She didn’t say anything for a while, which was anxiety-inducing, so he cleared his throat. 

“Can you get out of your car for a minute?” She asked quietly. He processed the question for a minute before getting out, patiently waiting for whatever came next.

Which was a hug, and a kiss on the cheek. 

“You can’t say goodbye while you’re sitting in the car,” she whispered into his neck in a shaky voice. Her arms remained around him, and he couldn’t help but hug her back. 

“I’m sorry,” he said as he rested his head on hers.

A silence fell between them as they rocked side to side. The only things that could be heard were crickets, chirping the night away, complemented with the girl's quiet sniffles. 

He looked up into the star-filled sky, trying to fight back tears that were threatening to spill at any second.

This went on for a little while before he broke the hug, really having to go now. 

“This is it then,” he smiled weakly.

“I’ll miss you,” she said quickly, “please text me whenever you can!” 

“Of course,” he nodded.

“Make sure to stay safe, and don’t forget about me, please.” She said after, almost like a plead. 

“I’d never,” he responded almost offendedly, “Is that all?” She nodded before giving him another warm hug. 

“Goodbye,” he muttered.

Finally, he said it. After days of worrying, he finally said those words. He’s happy he did, but he hates having to do it. Having to leave her and knowing they’ll rarely see each other. 

But, he finally said it. 

The feeling of incompletion was no longer lingering in his mind. He was glad for this, really.

He finally said it.

He finally said that word he dreaded.

He finally said the simple word that caused so much pain and unnecessary emotions.

Goodbye.