Thaw

           “I really wish someone will start talking so everyone won’t hear me fart,” James said to his family members.

           Everyone looks to James in disbelief, then they either chuckle or start laughing.

           “Always the one to break the ice,” James’s father, Bruce, said, giving his son a stern look, which quickly turns to an expression of gratitude.

           James figured the show will have to be started by him. In the past it would be mother, Loraine, starting it off, but after the stroke she says little anymore.

           James looks over at her from across the table and sees a small smirk. He looks at the smirk as her telling him he did an excellent job. Effective way to boost his ego since James did not have the greatest self-esteem.

           James looks around the table at his other four siblings, who were going back to their stony silence and wonders what happened to this family.

           Recently, the room would be loud with chatter and laughter. Everyone got along and talked of the adventures of life. Though everyone had their differing views, they all still got along as a family. Family is more important than any view any of them had.

           Two events happened simultaneously that changed everything. First was mother’s stroke that told everyone that mom might not be around for much longer. Everyone grasped onto the memories of their mother tighter. No one pondered that one-day mom and dad will be gone. Yes, she is still here, but going from the one leading family gatherings to hardly being there took a drastic toll on the siblings. Life is changing and not for the better.

           The second event is the dreaded pandemic. Emotions shot through the roof and a couple of years later they have not landed yet to tuck away into our safety net of our souls. Emotions are still running high, so common decencies for your fellow person have gone out the window. Differing views have gone to the extreme, so there is no longer a civil discussion. Instead, this family sits at the table in complete silence. No one wants to say the wrong word that will get another upset.

           Hell with that,” thought James. “We need to bring back fun in this family. Need healthy dialogue between us all.”

           “How is life treating you, Nick?” James asks his oldest brother, who is at the end of the table.

           Nick, who was looking down at his plate like he was wishing more food to pop up, looks up at James with a surprised look. It quickly turned into one of annoyance, since they all knew of his issues in life. First, he lost his wife when she ran off with another woman, then his minor drug problem became a large one. With the help of their father, he was improving, but still had a way to go.

           “Why would you ask such a question?” Nick asked James, piercing him with his blood-shot eyes.

           “Because I believe life is looking better for you,” responded James.

           “Are you kidding? Are you playing with me? Trying to be your regular jokester?”

           Recently, James would have replied with a snarky comment that would have made the air hard to breathe as the flames licked away the oxygen. But now he felt like he has realized and was tired of this way of living. Time for a coming to Jesus’ meeting. And boy oh boy, do people need it big time nowadays once they get off their high horses?

           “No joke on this one, Nick,” he said with a sincere look. “I see improvements in you, and it will only get better if you keep on going down the right path.”

           “Doctor James has entered the house,” his younger sister, Gayle, spoke up, bringing a couple of chuckles.

           James ignored her as he continued to look at Nick, hoping for a reaction. He prayed for one that will move his brother a step closer to the light.

           A lopsided grin appeared on Nick’s face. “Do you think so?”

           James wanted to leap up and have everyone heap praises on him to boast his ego once again, but he put his hand on his brothers. “I do not think so. I know so,” he says as he looks into his brother’s eyes.

           The grin turns into a smile.

           James could practically hear the crack of ice in the distance.

           “What has changed with you?” asked Mike from across the table to James.

           “I have a better outlook on life,” he responded. “Instead of the gloom and doom on everything. I choice to have hope.”

           “You had a dream?” his sister, Beth to his right, asked.

           “Nope. It was more of an observation as I sat on a bench in a park after a dreadful day and seeing how people were reacting to each other. Not as friendly, but I am seeing breaks in the ice. I am seeing more smiles. I am seeing more bonding. We are slowly coming back together.”

           “Great to hear, but you don’t see it on the news or much on social media,” said Beth.

           James looked at Beth, knowing she was hardcore into social media, and saw how her attitude took a turn for the work as she delved further into it. The darker areas of the media that loved to point out one’s flaws. Anything to boost their miserable self. It becomes such a lifestyle they become numb to it, and do not realize they have become toxic.

           “You need to look in different areas,” James said. “Or take a break. I know there is a cheerful, fun-loving sister in there. I have experienced it many times in the past. Staying cooped up in your apartment gave you more time to check out the vileness of society. People nitpicking about others. So little praise.”

           “I praise people when they deserve it,” she said.

           “Praise them as much as you can. Anything to lift people out of their funk.”

           “People will think I have gone crazy.”

           “Crazy effectively. You will become contagious and remembered as one who lifted people up.”

           “You have become quite the motivational speaker,” his father said with a smile.

           James tried not to picture patting himself on the back. He just wanted things to change for the better. It might not even be normal again, if it was every normal, but get close to it. He wanted to make a difference. To boost his esteem since it was beaten down for so many years. James sat up straighter as he felt like he was now better than before the two tragedies. He now believed tragedy can bring out the good in people.

           The conversation picked up around the table little by little as the ice cracked more. Anytime something negative is spoken, James would throw in a joke to wash away the negativity.

           James looked over at his mom and a tear came to his eye as he could see her mouth the words, “I love you.”