The Science God Reincarnates me as a Goblin Genius

The sound of coughing was heavy when Jacob became conscious to the world around him. Rising from the ground, rubbing his temples in discomfort Jacob felt like he had just gone twenty rounds with The Mountain in a wrestling ring.

"Ugh, I've got a headache this big." Jacob said to himself, rubbing the sides of his head with both hands as he tried to get an idea of his surroundings.

Nothing, absolutely nothing. Just a white empty space. Jacob stood quickly and glanced about, "Hello! Anyone!?!"

Jacob shouted, as he felt himself start to panic, where was he? How did he get here? Was he all alone? Was this heaven? Or hell?

"Ugh, not so loud please. My sinuses are throbbing enough as it is."

Jacob turned to the new voice and was greeted with the visage of a small man, wrapped in a shawl or heavy blanket, and wearing thick heavy rimmed glasses. His hair was a mess and his face pale and sickly. His nose dripping and his breathe wheezing; punctuated by small coughing fits. In short, the man looked like he belonged at home in bed, if not a hospital room with an IV. But that aside, he was another human presence in a world of nothing.

"Oh, thank god, where are we? Who are you?"

"Ugh, too fast and too loud," The man rubbed his head, coughing, "Please. A little quieter and not so fast."

Jacob rubbed his head, sighed, and asked again. Slower this time and with a softer tone.

"Oh, yeah I guess this is all new to you, " The man said with a sniffle, "Well, to be accurate, where we are is the representation of what humans from your world would describe as the physical realm of Purgatory."

"Purgatory!?" Jacob shouted, earning another wince of pain from the man, "I'm dead!?!"

"Agh, keep it down. But yes!" The man raised his voice, before going into a coughing fit.

"B-bu-but…how?" Jacob asked, feeling himself and looking at every part of his body for some clue of his demise. Nothing seemed apparent.

"I suppose the translocation of the soul had some memory issues. Just clear your mind, calm down and just think."

Calm down. Yeah right.

Jacob did try to ease his breathing, and with some effort did get a hold of himself from his near panic attack. Then, he just thought on what he had been doing before waking up.

And quickly the memories came back in a rush. He had been crossing the street, on his way to the grocery store when that car-

"Oh god! I got hit by a car!" Jacob shrieked, as he remembered it all now.

"Loud!" The unknown man whined again.

"Sorry but it’s not every day I realize I’m dead!" Jacob shouted, "But why am I here? I can't have been that bad!"

"Ugh," The unknown man groaned, "If it will make you calm down and stop yelling, I'll tell you. Now SIT!"

When the man spoke the last word, Jacob fell onto his butt, as if his entire being had been compelled to obey. Strangely, the unknown man looked ready to throw up for a few moments after before steadying himself and pulling out a bottle of pills and downing six.

"Ugh, doing that always sets off my ulcers." The man said, "Now, I know this will be a lot to take in, but I prefer to keep explanations simple. I am a god. The God of Science, Innovation and Progress. And I have chosen you to be my champion."

Jacob blinked, waited for the punch line, and when none came could only blink again and say, "Are you serious?"

"Definitely. I know, it’s hard to believe."

Jacob chuckled, "Uh, yeah. If you're a god, why do you look like you’re ready to pass out?"

The unknown man now revealed as a god huffed and coughed, "Rude. A god is only as healthy and powerful as his following. The ideals we represent, the more people believe in them the stronger we are. Science and innovation are relatively new in many worlds, and even yours it’s not exactly a fully accepted concept."

Jacob opened his mouth to say otherwise, but as he thought back on his life and the unscientific beliefs he had seen, he decided that perhaps this god had a point.

"Okay, so let us say I believe you. Why am I chosen to be your champion?"

"To the point good, I hate having to explain the cosmic string theory of divinity to people, Oh, and feel free to just call me Tesla after my most successful disciples."

"Tesla. Like the Scientists? Okaaay." Jacob looked at this man, god, lunatic?

"Now, to the point there is a contest every few thousand years that many new and old gods partake in determining the future of a world. You will be reborn into this world and act as my champion. You will complete certain tasks for me and if you succeed in ensuring my dominion over the world you shall be rewarded well."

Jacob stared at the basic way in which Tesla explained this, "You do know this sounds like the story of a ton of manga and fantasy books right?"

"Only in this case its real for you. So do you accept these terms?" Tesla asked, watching Jacob expectantly.

Jacob stared, "Uh no. No, this is all clearly some crazy dream or hallucination or something. So, I'll take my leave."

Standing up, Jacob looked for the exit, and saw not too far from him were two doors. For some reason, he knew what each one would do. One would seal himself as the champion fo the god Tesla. The other, returns him to his old life. He made quickly towards the second door, eager to get away from this madness.

But as he felt his hands near the knob, Jacob was soon washed with pain and he felt it impossible to breathe; like his lungs had suddenly been crushed. The sensation was so powerful, he fell back away from the door and the sensation passed.

"What did you do!?"

Jacob glared at Tesla, who winced and rubbed his head but scowled back, "I did nothing. You yourself remembered how you came here. I plucked your soul to this place, but It would have been impossible if it was not already fleeing your mortal shell."

Jacob stared at Tesla then the door, and a cold dread fell over him as he tried to find some sort of life and trick in the gods words; and found none. In fact, his mind seemed to know that not only was what Telsa said true of himself, but he knew that if he went back to his life now, it would not be a long one.

"What the hell kind of choice is this? Either I work for you or I die!?!" Jacob shot up and seized the god by the shoulders.

Or he did for a few seconds before he felt the shock of several hundred volts shoot trough his body and send him flying across the empty vastness of purgatory. And as Jacob flew off, Telsa followed.

"Do not lay your hands on me mortal. You have a choice, to die and be reborn again, or serve me and get a chance at a new life or to change your fate!" Despite the sickly look and occasional sniffle Tesla did not seem so weak and sickly this time.

Jacob stared and shut his eyes as he screamed inwardly. He did not want to die, even if his soul was reborn, but did he really want to play this gods game?

"Why me?" Jacob asked, starting up at Tesla.

Tesla's fierce expression changed to one of empathy and pity, "You're soul was there and you seemed to be the most align to my principles."

Jacob stared, "What do you mean? God, I was an accountant in life."

Telsa nodded, "This is true, but you did not let that determine your actions. You still sought out knowledge and studied things simply because you wished to know how they worked. Is this not, correct?"

Jacob was silent then nodded. It was true, though he had only gone into accounting to pay for his rent and bills, the job had left him with a great deal of free time and in that void he had taken a great interest in various sciences. Nothing impressive, but he had enjoyed that sense of discovery and learning.

And that is what the god of Science would be part of right? The gaining of knowledge?

As if sensing his thoughts, Telsa nodded to Jacob, "Yes. Many scientists do their part in empowering my princi0ples, but few humans go willing to them merely for the sake of knowledge and improving themselves. And to be honest, your ways of thinking might be a benefit in the long run."

Jacob stood slowly and stared at the doors which had now appeared behind him once more.

"You said," Jacob stared as he looked back at Tesla, "If I win this for you, I can get anything I want?"

Tesla nodded, "Yes."

"Can I get my life back on track. Better even?""

Again, Tesla nodded, "Anything you wish, will be your reward."

Jacob gave the idea some thought, then with a heavy sigh he turned to the other door and walked through. And the whole of his vision was filled with a bright light, then a deep darkness.

Despite the darkness, Jacob could hear Tesla's voice in his head.

Listen well mortal. All champions must be reborn into their world as a native. We are able to ensure you live to adulthood, but after that you nor the others will have this divine protection. If you end up getting yourself killed, either by mistake, some outside force or one of the other champions, its game over. Your soul will pass on fully this time.

Secondly, I will bestow upon you some skills and abilities, though given my status I cannot offer you much. I am sure you will figure out what those skills are, it is up to you to use them in a way that is to your advantage. You will have all your memories and will not forget who you are, nor your goal. But don't fret on the tasks, you will get an idea of what you have to do on your own and I can reach out to you from time to time.

As for your new body, well…. I do apologize but it was all I could manage with what little power I have available. Just, try to adapt and don't worry too much on the morality of choices. The goal is to ensure my principles expand over the world, the how is not important. How you do this, is up to you, just don't die.

Oh, and good luck.

When Tesla's voice faded, the darkness began to clear, and Jacob felt himself waking once more.

Is this my new life?

Jacob tried to move, but found he was unable to do more than wiggle and tilt his head from side to side. It made sense thought if he had been reborn then he must be a baby. But a baby what?

Jacob looked at his surroundings and immediately determined he was in a cave of some sort. Despite what should have been a deep darkness Jacob found he could see rather well, which meant that he must be some sort of creature that could see in the dark. Also, it would have to be a creature of intellect. But what and why was he in a cave?

"Hmm, this good litter.”

Looking to the voice, Jacob saw two figures standing over a collection of other swaddled babies. The figures were short and largely unclothed save in loincloths. Long ears and pointed noses, with glowing eyes of a creature designed to see in the dark. One was clearly female, due to its bare breasts. The female creature, perhaps sensing Jacob’s observation, moved over to him and lifted him up and placed his face close to one of her breasts.

“Hmm, hungry? Eat, you be strong Goblin in no time. Or be dead.”

Though Jacob found the sudden shift of his focus onto the females’ breasts, despite his mind finding the moment somewhat uncomfortable and embarrassing; his body seemed to be acting on its own and Jacob found himself nursing from the goblin woman.

Wait, goblin?

The realization came to Jacob in a flash and while his body ate, his mind was screaming.

Tesla! You made me turn into a goblin!?!? You ass!