The Night that changed my Life

Dear Diary,

You will never believe what just happened to me. In fact, I can hardly believe it myself! What was I thinking? I am such a mess! Why oh why did I do that? Okay calm down. Think. There’s very less chance that the video will be leaked, because I trust that Shane and Polly deleted it. I really truly hope that it’s true otherwise it’s goodbye forever. I won’t be able to face anyone. Although a much bigger problem is if my supremely orthodox school ever got wind of it. I would never be allowed on the premises again! Okay, breathe. Lets go over this again. Worst case scenario: the video is sent to school. I get expelled. The story spreads everywhere and god knows where the video could reach (what if it goes viral?). My life gets spoiled. I will never be able to face anyone again. Best case scenario: The video is deleted. My family and the school authorities are not made aware of what happened. The story still spreads to all of my batch mates and they judge me for my actions. Rumours also start up but hopefully, I have the support of my closest friends to get me through it. Yes, I am going to be optimistic even though that’s pretty hard considering the splitting headache I am enduring. I guess that’s what I get for drinking more than I should. Oh God, why did I ever go to that party? I could have just chilled out in Maya’s room with the rest of her gang. Well, maybe not, since it was Polly’s party and she is one of my best friends. She’s also totally sweet and supportive and it would have just been mean if I didn’t attend. 

I was actually in the same hotel as our rival gang, rather than with my own friends (not that I consider them as rivals. They are actually pretty close to me). Of course I couldn’t stay secluded in my room right? I barely had a day to celebrate my graduation. Yes, that’s all we got. One measly day away from school to go wild and commemorate our greatest achievement, which is finally graduating, with style. I just never expected things to get so out of hand. Getting back to the point, I was hanging out with Maya, Nancy, Nate and a few others. I thought that I would get a ride with them to the party and come back when they do as well. Of course, my parents are super strict and, well, I guess you could call them over protective. They wanted to make sure I had someone to go with and they trusted Nate of course. He has been my best friend since 8th grade. He’s also tall, broad-shouldered, good looking in a way but not the type that girls swoon over. However, he is charming when it comes to winning over the adults, which works just fine for me. I was in Maya’s room with all of them and fooling around when they decided that they would ditch the party, order some pizza, go downstairs for a few shots and call it a night instead. At that moment, I had no clue what to do. Staying with them seemed tempting, especially since I was having so much fun, but I knew, deep down in my heart, that I had to go. Maya saw the expression on my face and realized my dilemma. She came over and asked me why I wasn’t going to the party since all of my friends were there. I told her that I would go in some time. This was when Nate offered to go and drop me, and the rest of the gang agreed to come along for the ride as well. I was truly grateful to him. Little did I know it would turn out to be one of the most eventful nights in my life.

I walked along the path a little nervously. I had no clue where the party was held. The hotel was also a completely new territory for me because I had never visited the place in all of the years I had been here. There were thick emerald shrubs on either side of the path, watching me silently in the dark of the night. I rubbed the goosebumps on my arms and chided myself for having such a wild imagination. Walking a little farther, I saw two of my classmates deep in conversation. Being the shy, reserved person that I am, I wasn’t sure whether to engage with them and ask them for directions or just look around for the party myself. I was just making up my mind when one of them, Alan, spotted me and called me. He informed me that Polly and the rest of my friends were waiting for me and he pointed up the stairs. I thanked him and realized that perhaps he wasn’t such a jerk after all. He is tall and athletic and a heart throb as most of the girls would say. The problem is, he knows it and revels in the knowledge. He is also Polly’s ex which is probably why I don’t really interact much with him. As I ascended, I realized that the party was dead. The room was practically empty except for a local DJ who seemed oblivious to his bleak surroundings. Polly was tearing at her hair and seemed close to breaking down. That’s why I agreed to accompany her to search for the rest of our friends in order to lift things off the ground. As we went down the winding path once more, we came across many of our batchmates who had gotten bored and wandered off. Polly explained that Jeffrey and Shane were supposed to get the drinks but they hadn’t returned. I raised my eyebrows at this as I had just seen Shane driving off with his girlfriend Hannah and they did not seem like they would come back. Nevertheless, we managed to pull the small group we found back to the party hall. Alan was actually a big help at this point of time. He ordered the DJ to crank the music up and began dancing. Being the charismatic person that he is, the rest of the group followed suit and soon, everyone was dancing. After a few moments, Jeffrey got back with the drinks as well even though he had limited bottles because the shop owner apparently realised that he was a student of the most prestigious school in the area and threatened to report him. We had to make do with whatever he got, but as it turns out, that was enough to make me completely lose my mind…

I don’t remember much of what happened that night. All I know is that various drinks were poured down my throat at once and I completely lost it. At that time, I was elated. I had never felt so free in my entire life. Everybody felt like my closest friends and I began talking to people I had never spoken to at school. In fact, I started doing crazy hilarious stuff that one of my other best friends, Selena, felt the need to record. After that point, my mind is a blank slate. All I know is that I was suddenly in a dark, remote corner in the middle of nowhere, sitting with Aron who is supposedly my good friend, considering the fact that he is also my best friend’s best friend. I have no memory of what happened between us. According to everybody else, we made out. The only thing i remember is that I was on the floor and he was kind of on top of me when I heard a voice screaming, “ He’s recording everything! Stop him!” Everything became a blur. I don’t know how but I was on my feet and running after the DJ, begging him to delete the video. He had caught us on video tape. But why? What would he do with it? I had never experienced being in such a situation before and I was already exhausted. Panic surged through my heart and I could not stop the tears rolling down my face. By this time, everybody who was still present at the party arrived at the scene. Polly hugged me close and promised that everything would be ok. She was extremely worried as I had never been so scared or upset before. Leaving me in the able hands of a few others, she and Shane rushed off after the DJ. Realising that they needed help, they contacted Polly’s parents who immediately arrived and took charge. Lucky for us, Polly’s parents were well connected with the hotel managers and threatened to file a complaint against the DJ as well as the hotel staff for invasion of privacy. Polly and Shane managed to take the phone from the DJ and delete the video. They also checked all of his messages and other online platforms to ensure that he had not sent it to anyone. While all of this was occuring, Mark and Kris took me by the arms and made me walk around for a bit, just to calm me down. I saw no signs of Aron and at that point of time, I had no interest in seeing him either. It did irk me that he did't seem bothered about me and never even tried to find out how I was doing. Oh well, what did I expect? At that time, I guess it was every man for himself. It is ironic though, because if we go down, then we are definitely going down together. Mark finally took me to one of our friends’ rooms and made me lie down on the bed and rest. While I was sleeping, everybody gathered and had a full meeting about what had gone down that night. They agreed that this episode should be kept only within the group but to be honest, I knew that it wasn’t possible. People in my school loved gossip. In fact, they lived for it and there was nothing I could do about it. 

Polly made sure that I had someone to take me back to my hotel before she went back to her own room after a long night. Now, safe in bed, I cannot stop thinking about what had happened in the span of just a few hours. I had gotten my first kiss, made out with a boy I didn't even have any romantic feelings for, all while I was completely drunk. I was also videotaped while doing all of this and would probably have gone viral on the internet or perhaps black mailed by the DJ if my friends had not been there to save me. I can’t believe all of this happened to me. I mean, I feel like I’m in a dream, or I guess it's more of a nightmare to be honest. Anyways,  I guess I will just have to deal with the consequences now. Oh well, perhaps I should learn to be careful who I share a drink with. I am extremely tired now but I will definitely keep you informed.

More soon,

Janice.