Canned beans

"This is not a test!" the robotic voice said through the TV. "The United States is under nuclear attack. You have exactly 15 minutes to find shelter. Fallout shelters will be open and you will be evacuated by local authorities. Every state is at risk"

While almost all news channels were broadcasting the same thing, some of the privately-owned channels were having discussions between the hosts. A particular group of hosts was sitting on the couch.

"Its fake news don't believe it." said one of the men

"Even if it was, I still have my rights, I shouldn't be forced to evacuate, that's communism." said the other older one before he was interrupted by the only woman among them,

"You know what just happened to me! I called my hairdresser and asked for an appointment! And guess what she did, she said that she can't because we are all going to die, I've never been so disrespected in my life. It was the most awful thing anybody can experience."

All of his was the result of actions that happened in just one week. There was an international climate change agreement in which drastic measures were to be taken to reduce carbon emissions, even though they only affected industries and not normal people, a lot of average people still had a problem with it for some reason, and it just so happened that one thing led to another and the US nuked parts of Europe and now they’ve decided to retaliate.

Derek at that point turned off his TV. In a way, he was happy that it was all going to end. His miserable life up to that point was filled with job rejections and lonely nights in his crummy apartment. He thought that he could at least take a walk before the end times. He spent a significant time worrying what he would wear, he didn't want to be too casual since it was the end of the world, and he should at least look presentable, but he didn't want to look too flashy to the alien  archaeologists that might reconstruct his body. He chose to wear a pure black skull hat and a black jacket, even though it was the middle of summer. He started sweating as soon as he put his clothes on.

The streets were clean for the first time, no one seemed to be around, he felt inner peace at this point like a Buddhist monk. Maybe that was the life he was supposed to lead, living a peaceful life in a temple alongside other monks, but he highly doubted that that would have paid his student loans. Even there he still wouldn't be safe from his parents' disapproval, even if he moved to the top of Mount Everest, his parents would send an underpaid sherpa to deliver him a politely bitter letter about how they wanted him to become a doctor.

At that point he wanted to personally thank the missile for putting him out of his misery, maybe if he could get close enough he would hug it just as it reaches the ground feeling its warm nuclear embrace. But then he thought that that might be impolite.

As Derek continued to walk the empty street he heard the most horrendous noise, it sounded like if a dirt bike was being choked by the chains of a chainsaw. He saw a man riding an ATV

in the streets. He had two AR 15's pointing out of his back and had two pistol holsters with only one of them having a gun. He was also wearing a faded out black shirt that had the print of a skull with two guns behind it with the text 'CERTIFIED SURVIVOR' on it. The shirt also seemed 2 sizes too small as it looked like he was almost wearing a tight crop top.

He stopped as soon as he saw Derek, leaving tracks on the road. Form the forceful brake.

"What the hell are you doing outside!" the man yelled.

"Just accepting death," replied Derek.

"Are you crazy the terrorists will kill you if you are out here in the open"

"What terrorists?"

"The ones who are about to bomb us, duh!" he said overconfidently

"Aren't the Russians bombing us?"

"Terrorists in my book."

"Whatever." sighed Derek as he continued walking ignoring the man. 

"Where do you think you are going? Get back I'm taking you to my bunker."

"No thanks, I just want to die. Plus I’m a stranger, why would you do that to me and why would you expect me to go.

"My buddy bailed on me and now I need someone new to guard night shift"

"Guard against what?!" yelled in a fit of confusion.

"The mutants of course!"

At that moment Derek had a little dark idea, he could go with him to his bunker, just kill him and live the rest of his days in complete isolation. Derek turned back in a swift motion.

"You know what let's go"

"Alright get on, we don’t have much time left."

Derek had never been on a quad before. He climbed on the back and held on as tight as he could. When they started to go Derek wondered how it was possible for it to feel like they were treading on an ocean of speed bumps and rocks on a completely flat road.

"So where's your bunker" Derek tried to yell over the sound. But the noise drowned out his voice.

"WHAT?!" yelled the man.

Derek just gave up trying to communicate for the rest of the ride.

With only a minute left they quickly rushed to a bunker in the countryside. On the outside, it was heavily fortified by walls of sandbags. It was an underground bunker with a door leading to it.

Once inside Derek found it quite spacious in there. Just as they closed the shaft, Derek heard the second loudest sound this day, second only to the ATV.

"I guess we survived that means we survived"

"Oh, this is only the beginning it will only get harder from here.” he said it in a tone similar to the once used by motivational speakers “In the meantime make yourself at home"

"OK...Hey, I still don’t know your name."

"Mike" 

"I'm Derek"

What stood out most in the room was a big metal barrel which Derek proceeded to inspect

"Is that honey? And what’s that inside it"

"That's where I put the food so it doesn't rot"

“What?”

“You know honey doesn’t expire, so if you put your food in it it won’t expire.”

Derek cringed at the thought of it.

"How long has it been in there," Derek said worrying at this point

"For about 6 months"

"6 months? how long have you been preparing for this."

"Since 2012. To be honest I thought we would be invaded by foreigners rather than blown up."

"Is there anything else to eat besides the food that has been marinating in honey for six months?"

"There's canned beans."

He pointed to a lonely cardboard box in the corner filled with cans

Derek sighed.

It's been a month of pure misery and boredom, filled with conversations that felt like they were going nowhere and eating beans every day. Every night Derek tried to make himself kill him but he just couldn’t do it. It was like his moral compass was desperately trying to point to the north. Many days passed, at this point beans had become the new medium taste for Derek, like the way water tastes like nothing.

But the food supply was starting to deplete. And Mike and Derek both knew that soon they would have to go outside. Mike wanted to go outside ever since the first day, but Derek somehow managed to convince him that that probably wasn't the best idea. The day they opened their last can of beans was Mike's happiest day since the blast, he knew that this meant he would get to go outside and shoot all the mutants that have risen. Mike was filled with childlike glee, which Derek found kind of wholesome until he realized that it was because he wanted to shoot stuff. There was no other choice either they go to the surface and face the world or just rot underground. They are going to die either way but the first option seemed more fun. After opening the shaft door, Derek was repulsed by the blinding light, but then he realized that that was how he always reacted when he went outside.

Nevertheless, they got out. Mike took a big exaggerated breath of the toxic air, which was understandable it was better than the smell that was down there. 

The sight was something just so shocking, the green countryside was turned into a desert. And the city was barely recognizable.

"Well, no time for waiting. We've got food to find."

"Yeah you're right"

"Just need to find my quad."

"I highly doubt that it survived”

"What do you mean, I'm sure she only has a few scratches. We just need to find her"

Mike spent over half an hour looking for his ATV, his determination was almost inspiring, how he always kept a positive mind and just kept his mind on the task, even though he spent three-quarters of the time going around the same 30-foot diameter of the area around the bunker. Nevertheless, they finally found the quad broken to pieces and beyond repair.

Derek saw how Mike continued his optimistic smile as he spent a solid 5 seconds looking at the debris, his eyes were almost shaking with shock and he burst into tears.

Derek felt immense pity for the man he considered murdering him for a month.

He started to pat his curled back.

"There, there it's okay. No need to cry."

"It's just that...." he started bursting to cry and sniffing.

"Hey, hey hey. Listen, we can get a new one."

"Huh... But-Aren't the shops destroyed"

"We'll just see if any survived."

"But- We don't have money."

"Dude, we don't need money, there is no law."

"Okay...But first, we got to bury her."

they didn't have shovels so they had to dig with their hands.

They set off on foot, once they entered the city it was more depressing than it looked on the outside but still despite all the damage it seemed quite livable. As Derek was looking around the place, Mark started yelling.

"Oh my god, watch out Derek It's a mutant!"

"What?! what are you talking about?"

"Over there"

Mike pointed towards an above-average sized rat, disease-ridden and with patches of skin where fur used to be.

"I think that just a-"

Before he had the chance to finish his sentence, Mike blasted the rat with a ray of bullets leaving it indistinguishable from what it was before.

Derek didn't bother to say anything as there was no point.

They were able to find a conscience store, only half destroyed. Most of the food had either been disintegrated or had been blown away to somewhere distant for all the vermin to eat.

The only available food was canned beans, at this, Derek’s last shred of optimism had died.

They were able to pack all the food in plastic bags, which as it happens are surprisingly resistant to nuclear explosions. They looked like they'd been on a Manhattan shopping spree as they were walking down the street.

Somehow even in this awful situation, Derek finally felt like he connected with Mike.

A distant hum could be heard, both of them turned around to see a group of three people, dressed like some post-apocalyptic punk raiders, every one of them popping out of a respective car window, screaming and yelling.

They intended it to be frightening but Derek and Mike were more confused as to what these balding middle-aged office workers were doing acting like this.

"Oh, what do we have here?" said the man driving in a condescending and mocking voice.

"Right back at you, buddy," said Derek, being even more confused.

The other two stepped out of the car wielding nail bats.

"We can do this the easy way or the hard way." said one of them

"We don't know what you're talking about"

"Your food you idiots! Hand it over!"

This led to more questions than it answered. Just as Derek was about to ask why they were dressed like that one of the men started coughing blood.

"Hey, are you okay, how long have you been out here."

"It doesn’t matter, hand over your food or we will take your lives," he said in an insecure voice.

Derek was getting real tired at this point. "We've got guns."

They started violently swinging their bats, managing to hit Derek on the arm. Mike and Derek backed off, making some space between them and the men.

"Mike shoot them. They're trying to kill us!"

"I can't"

"What do you mean you can't"

"I've never shot people before. Well at least not on purpose"

"You gotta be kidding me. What was all that talk about killing terrorists."

"Well, now I know I don't want to kill."

The man went in for another swing, Derek immediately grabbed Mike's gun and shot him in the foot. The driver in a state of shock called the guys to get in the car. They took off as fast as they could, leaving both of them to fully comprehend what had just happened.

Mike and Derek continued their trek home, unsure of what will happen in the near future and how will they survive, they didn’t exactly get along but they had no choice but to continue relying on each other, Derek is not going to kill Mike anytime soon.