Saguaro Valley

When I was on the farm, I was a God. The more I worked, the more my hands grew warm and weathered. But today, as the rain poured down, I stood still. Thunder riled up the horses down by the paddocks and electricity buzzed through the decaying power lines. The monsoon was close. I roll the cigarette between my lips. My uncle tapped his pointer fingers on the arm of the chair. He rocked in his old roselawn chair and inhaled the sunflowers I used to grow by the lining of the house. 

“It’s hot, Matty.” He calls out when he hears my footsteps. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Let’s get you inside.” The porch creaked, and I watched as the neighborhood got emptier. He inhales deeply, his nostrils flaring like one of those bloodhounds on the hunt. 

“You smokin’ again?” I spit out the cigarette and mush it down across the porch.

“No.” I set Uncle Vernon down on the graying plaid chair, resting his cane by the fireplace. 

“All good?” He nods and groans as he leans back into the ratty cushion. My boots are loud against the linoleum as I sift through ingredients.  

“Shit.” I slam the fridge, grunts coming from the living room. 

“What’s going on?”   

“Gotta go to the store.” I rip my coat from the rusted hooks and work my way through the sleeves. He jumps when I take my hat from his head, shoving it down past my hair.

“We out of food?” His voice draws deeply as he rests his feet on the ottoman. 

“Yeah, I’ll be back soon. Stay put.” The click rattles through me as the door shuts. I look up at the threatening clouds as dust coats my jeans, jumping down the porch steps. I’ll be quick. Hopping into the truck, I set out for town. Saguaro Valley was a lonesome place. Not even travelers drove through it. But it was good for us. The copper domes turn to buildings as I pull up to the general store. Trying to avoid the surrounding people, I pop out of the truck quickly. The muggy wind plows through me, almost blowing my hat off. The 4th of July weekend was right around the corner and I could feel the anticipation. Whiskey Row was the flower’s bud of town. Only a few feet off from the tall tan mountains, where trails led to farms and neighborhoods. It was close to everything. Loud hollering echoed up the lively city street. The sun was setting, and the monsoon was inching closer, but the stores kept their lights on. Dray greeted me with a dip in his hat and the dry air from the store took some sweat off my back. People were talking throughout different aisles, the chatter filling the dampened building. It wasn’t until I felt a light tap on my side was when I started feeling awake.

“Matty?” I turn around instantly. 

“Oh hey, Sarah.” 

“What are you doing back in town?” 

“I’m lookin’ after my uncle for a while.” Neither of us says a word for a moment. We walked through the store together. She talks about her plans for nursing school in Flagstaff, then inheriting her cousin’s home here in Saguaro.

“A family?” My mouth feels dry. She nods, and a grin falls upon her round cheeks.

“Yeah, you know, I think it’s something I’ve just always wanted.” I grab a handful of things for dinner. 

“You think?” I push, holding a dusty can of beans, pulled pork, and some white bread up against my chest.  

“I know.” She corrects herself. The cans rattle as I set them down in front of Dray. Pulling out a 5, I slide it across the wood. 

“Well, I hope that works out for you.” I smile, sliding my wallet in my jeans.

“Actually, I wanted to talk about us.” She follows me outside. Throwing the groceries in the passenger seat, the thunder surprises her and she jumps. I lean against the car and she reaches out for me. 

“What about us?” Peach clouds and thick smoke rings surround Whiskey Row. 

“I’d like to, y’know…” She looks down at her feet and twists her boots into the rocky ground. I try to focus on the words coming out of her mouth, but two gunshots go off behind her in the thumping saloon and my attention shifts. Now she really grabs onto me, onto my ribs. I wince, trying to pry her off by her shoulders, but my ears perk up. They rise animalistically. Goosebumps race down my neck. A tall man with blonde hair is thrown to the ground, two older men holding him down while the third one with a gun bursts from the flimsy bar doors. I watch as people around us scream and Sarah holds onto me with shaky finger tips. People retreat into quieter bars. It wasn’t until they dragged him closer, I realized who they were holding down. His face was marked up and his shirt was gone. His hat, a dark black, covered his green eyes. My body stops functioning and the man with the gun is barking at me to move, but I don’t register a word he’s saying. All I remember doing is breathing. My jaw aches and I push Sarah behind me. She watches me like I’m crazy. And maybe I am. 

“What the hell is goin’ on here?” I yell, walking towards the man with the gun. He stops moving and looks up at me carefully. 

“Get out of our fuckin’ way.” My fist trembles as I punch him. The sound of impact doesn’t prove anything other than the terrible swing. But the scent of his blood fills my nostrils as I channel all my strength into the blow. I fell down to the ground with him, my shoulder aching and my fist on fire. I scramble up, taking his gun. Thunder growls its way through town. The two other men spit on Beau and race back inside the bar, taking the one on the ground with them, for God knows what. I catch my breath. Dropping the gun and turning around, I march back up to Sarah. I roll my shoulder, riding out the pain. Tears are spitting down her face. She opens her mouth to say something, but I stop her. 

“Just go home and we’ll talk later.” She nods, wiping her running mascara from her face while she jogs to her car. I lean my head against my truck. I didn’t want this shit to happen. 

“Matty-”

“Shut the fuck up.” I look over at him from the truck. He slowly lifts himself up and drags his leg across the bumpy parking lot. He reaches out for me, but I slam him against the door.

“You can’t be so fuckin’ outgoing, Beau, I fuckin’ told you.” He lets out a low, guttural groan, the sound reverberating in the air. His face contorted in pain, his eyes squinting tightly shut. I can feel the strain in his muscles as I apply pressure against his chest, a tense resistance beneath my touch. I let go of him, taking off my hat and feeling the hot sprinkle from the monsoon finally covering us. I can hear his large breaths as he gasps for air. Once he catches it, he curses under his breath, pushing me back. As I stumble across the dirt, the wind knocks the breath out of me. Turning around, my fist clenched and ready to strike, he effortlessly grabs me and hurls me to the ground. We claw and hit each other with every opportunity we get. He’s covered in mud and my hair is drenched. The sound of my spit hitting his face was blocked by the painful impact of my skull meeting the curb. 

“Cut it out.” He says, holding me down. Blood runs down my head and face. I can feel the pain all over. As I push him away, our bodies spring apart, creating a distance between us. The bar doors open and a hard beam of light breaks through the rain. A group of men emerged from inside with branded shot guns and knives, one of them pointing at us with their weapon. Beau looks at me with direction. 

“Get in the car.” The sudden sound of gunfire fills the air as they target my tires, and with a loud pop, my heart plummets. 

“The tire’s out!” 

“I don’t fuckin’ care. Get in the car!” I throw my body into the front seat, and Beau quickly follows. As I start up the truck, the engine roars to life, drowning out the sounds of the rain. Beau’s breath is heavy as he knocks the food I bought earlier to his feet and reclines. The hard razor scrape against the road makes my teeth grind. 

“Why are you driving so damn fast?” With a grimace, he grabs a dirty cloth from the glove compartment and wipes the spit and rain drooling from his chest. 

“Cause my blind fuckin’ uncle is home alone in the middle of a storm. That’s why.” He laughs and tosses the rag into the back seat. I just keep driving, not caring about the ruined tire. I try to keep my limbs from shaking and my head from throbbing. My body was still in shock after everything went down. I almost forgot about Uncle Vernon. Neither of us said a word for the rest of the drive. Lightning catches my eye and I prayed to that streak of light I wouldn’t have to look at Beau a moment longer. 

Beau bolted up the porch, grabbing the food from his feet, as I finished parking the popped tires unevenly in front of the house. I hold onto my hat as I run through the rain, feeling it whip against my cheeks and neck. Beau was banging on the front door like a maniac drenched and half naked. I moved him aside and rapidly searched my pockets for the keys, unlocking the door and ushering him inside. The intense heat inside the house made it hard to breathe, with the heavy, humid air suffocating us. Uncle Vernon was fast asleep, snoring louder than a fog horn. My breath felt lighter when I saw he was safe and hadn't moved. I take off my hat and put it back on his head. Ripping the food from Beau’s grasp, I put it away in the kitchen. He follows me, crossing his arms and watching me from the entry. 

“Do you need somethin?” I grumble, closing the fridge. He shakes his head and I open up the top cupboard to find ourselves some bandaids. I clutch a bottle of rubbing alcohol by its neck and nudge Beau to sit on the counter in order to clean up his wound on his chest. 

“Can I shower first?” I nod and he’s gone within seconds. My head throbs and when I go to reach the back of my scalp, a thick warm puddle stains my fingertips. I douse paper towels with rubbing alcohol and wipe the blood from my hair. Wrapping gauze around my head, I let the blood pool onto the thick cloth. I sit next to my uncle, watching him slowly wake up. The only noise around me is the sound of his breath and the pipes from upstairs. 

“You okay, Uncle Vernon?” He gets up slowly and I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know I’m here. Yawning wildly, he nods,

“Where’ve you been?” He gently brushed his palm down my arm to squeeze my hand. 

“Ran into an old friend that needed help. He’s upstairs now.” The pipes turn off and I get up from crouching down next to Uncle Vernon, 

“I’m gonna start on dinner now.” I watch his nod of approval and walk into the kitchen, grabbing a pot and turning on the stove. Doctor appointments in the city, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and company. That was my schedule now that I was back home. I’d take him out for rides on the horses out back when he felt strong and mended to his lettuce when I could. Marinating the pork in barbeque sauce and spices, I hear Beau’s voice loud and meandering behind me. I let the meat sit and cautiously head for the living room, my hands pulsating. Beau smiles, wearing my clothes as he sits in a reclining chair next to Uncle Vernon, 

“Hey there, I’m Beau.” He says with a cheery grin, sticking out his hand. 

“Well, hello Beau, I’m Vernon.” Heat warms my cheeks. And I watch as Beau keeps his hand out, waiting for him to take it. I laugh,

“Beau, I told ya he’s blind. He can’t see what your doin’” 

“And?” He takes Uncle Vernon’s hand anyway and shakes it. Vernon laughs loud and deep, filling up the tight air in the room. I smile, folding back into the kitchen and stirring the meat. They talk. Not one pause between each other. I can’t help but laugh whenever I hear their personalities clash or combine. Beau was electric with whoever he was talking to. 

After what seems like an hour, me being completely absent from most of their conversation, their voices quiet down and I bring out the sandwiches. 

“Here y’all go.” I fluff up Uncle Vernon’s pillow and place it on his lap, setting the dish down and some napkins to his side. I sit next to Beau and hand him his plate. 

“Gettin’ along?” I ask quietly enough for Vernon not to hear beneath his eating. Beau nods, slamming his teeth into the soft bun. I snort, following him shortly after. The silence is filled with our hunger. After the night we had it felt good to sit and eat. Beau looks up at the band around my head,

“What happened?” He points, his mouth full as he talks.

“You happened.” Beau scoffs and finishes his food, taking my plate once I’m finished too. I take Uncle Vernon’s and follow Beau into the kitchen. 

“I can do them.” 

“No, you cooked.” He says, taking my plates. 

“Let’s do them together. It’ll be faster.” Beau washed the dishes as I dried them and put them away. Within minutes we were done and walked back to where Uncle was. I grab two beers and hand one to Beau. Uncle Vernon’s fingers were following a book. When he heard us, he dog-eared it and put it to his side,

“How’d y’all meet?” He asks, resting his hands on his belly. I frown, feeling the tug of my skin from my forehead to my wound.

“Uncle, what are you talkin’ about?” 

“You never bring friends around.” 

“This was an emergency.” I plop down onto the couch next to Beau. He laughs, leaning over his legs, sipping on the beer, turned toward Vernon with a playful smile on his lips, 

“We met at the Rodeo last summer.” I meet Beau’s gaze, and there’s an enigmatic depth that resides within him. Don’t. I mouth to him. But he keeps on grinning. 

“That’s where you met that girl you started seein’, right Matty?” Uncle Vernon asks. I don’t take my eyes off of Beau,

“Yeah that’s right, uncle.” 

“I introduced the two of them.” Beau says with his chest puffed out. My body collapses into the couch, catching my breath as I laugh hard. Liar. I mouth and he shrugs. 

“Uncle, you want some tea?” Beau interrupts me, 

“Hold on now, I’m not done with the story yet.” I set my beer down and bury my face into my palms. Uncle chuckles, 

“I was on the bull and he was standin’ there in the audience with his friends. Now, I don’t see much when I’m ridin’ but I saw him and I thought-” I elbow Beau hard in the gut, noticing my uncle’s face dropping,

“He thought I’d make a great rider.” I say, grabbing my beer and finishing it off. My uncle smiles,

“I know you would, me and your old man always said that.” I thumb the small opening of the bottle’s neck. Beau puts his hand on my arm but I shake it off. Uncle Vernon sighs,

“Sorry to bring him up, Matthew.” I shrug,

“It’s all good.” I stand up and pat his shoulder before throwing my boddle out in the trash. 

“Oh hey, uncle, guess who I ran into at the general?” I ignore Beau’s presence, trying to change the subject.

“Who?”

“Sarah Baker.” He slams his hand on the chair’s arm and laughs. Beau puts his drink down and looks at the two of us, smiling softly,

“Wait, who is that?” Vernon goes to open his mouth but I interrupt him, 

“You wouldn’t know her.” Beau’s gaze turned to daggers. Walking over to my uncle, I help him up,

“I haven’t seen her in years.” I hook his arm with mine,

“Yeah she’s studyin’ in Flagstaff now.” I feel Beau killing me. I know exactly what he’s muttering under his breath. I hear him throw the beer bottle in the trash and watch as he hooks his arm on the other side of Uncle Vernon’s.

“Here, let me help.” I don’t say anything as we act as a cane for him, shooting glances every once in a while. I put my uncle to bed, tucking him in while Beau waits in the other room.

“I’m happy for the two of you.” He says with a grumble. Immediately, without thought or second guessing, my body goes into shock. I shake my head,

“Uncle-” 

“It’s okay.” His old smile lines part once more, 

“Get good sleep.” 

I turn off the light and leave his room. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Beau is standing across from me. My gaze flickers up to meet him. His eyes are red and his face is wet. I no longer felt like a God.