Nightmare

Kiana Lopez is a mess. She was like a bomb that anytime was ready to explode. She can hear the ticking of the clock in her head and the time bomb is her soul. She still hoping and fighting for justice for herself, sadly even the cops can’t give it to her.

Years already pass but her past still hunting her, her nightmare.

Kiana gasped before opening her eyes and she roomed her gaze. And she stop when she see that she was in her own room. I took a glanced at my alarm clock in my bedside table. It’s just 3 o’clock in the morning and her nightmares are still hunting and hunting her every damn night. Kiana was hugging herself in the middle of her bed. She can feel her fear radiating in her body!

“Calm…calm down Kiana…” She told to herself. “Think happy thoughts.” I can feel the sting feeling in my chest. That sting never gone after five years.

When I calmed down I took a deep breath before her get up in her bed. I can’t sleep anymore that’s why I am planning to take a jog. I change my clothes into a leggings and simple sports bra. She also took her phone with her earphones. She put it in her ears and play some music. I love music it makes me calm, sometimes.

“Good morning, Kiana.” Mrs Gilbert greet me when I come out in my house. “Still having nightmares?” Mrs Gilbert asked to me.

She nodded. “Morning. Yeah, it never leave me.” She replied.

Mrs Gilbert is my neighbour. A close one and she also knew what happened to me, five years . Mrs Gilbert is like a mother to me, and a friend. She’s always there to me and her daughter Lira when I having a nightmares. I am so thankful to them, very.

Mrs Gilbert blow a deep breath. “You need to move forward, Kiana. Let go to of your past and be happy.”

She smiled. “I am happy.”

The lady shake the head. “No you didn’t. You always avoid people who wants to know you.. to be with you.”

“I didn’t avoid you besides I have you and Lira.” She said while arching her brows makes the lady laugh.

“Yeah. Btw, are you going to take a jog?” Mrs Gilbert asked.

“Yup.” She said while locking her door.

“Do you want me to call Lira? She can accompany you.” Mrs Gilbert stated.

She smiled. “No. Don’t worry Mrs Gilbert, I can take care of myself.” And I don’t want to disturb Lira’s beautiful sleep.

“If you say so. You have your phone right?” She nodded as answer. “Call me or Lira if something happen to you.”

She smiled and hugged the lady. “I’ll be fine but to make you happy I call you when something bad happen to me.”

Mrs Gilbert tap her back. “Good.”

She break the hug and bid her goodbye. “See you later, Mrs Gilbert.” And she start to jog.

I can feel the cold breeze in her body. There are also people who taking a jog and walk like her. And all of them are glancing at her. Some are avoiding her presence while others are flee when she was near at them like I had a virus.

She rolled her eyes before walking away from those judgement people. She louder the volume of her music to inaudible the talks about her.

Someone wave at her but she avoid it. It’s Cory, one of her batch mate in COLT University. Cory and I are close friend way back in college but when something very very bad happened to her, she avoid me like she didn’t see me like she didn’t know me. And after that I always avoid everyone except Mrs Gilbert and her daughter Lira. The two of them didn’t leave me even though I always repelled them. Even they knew what happened to me. And even though all of my love ones left me, they still choose to stay.

Kiana stopped in the stone chair in the side of the sidewalk. She was catching her breath. I took a glance at my wrist watch, it’s already 5 in the morning. Why the time is flying so fast? I stood up and decides to go home. I have work, I am a pre-school teacher in a small elementary school near in our place.

Kiana didn’t notice a car at her back. The car was so fast, look like the driver was in such hurry. Because of her loud music she didn’t hear the loud beep sound.

“What’s with the light?” She asked when she noticed the light coming from her back. Her eyes went big when she see the car coming from her. I can’t move my feet because of the shock. Am I going to die?

She closed her eyes. If I’m going to die, my nightmares will be gone, right? They won’t hunt me anymore.

After a minute of closing her eyes nothing happened.

Someone get her earphones from her eyes, reasons why she open her eyes. “Are you stupid? Wearing earphones in the middle of the road?!” it’s a guy voice.

She looked at the guy. Shock was written in the guy face when I face him. “Blake?”

“Kiana?..”

Blake was my boyfriend.. I mean ex-boyfriend. He was my boyfriend before. We didn’t have any break up. Why? Because he left me without explaining, without talking, even a letter, text messages, or a call. He didn’t bother to tell me. He left me when I need someone to hold on. He left me when I need my knight in shining armour.

I rolled my eyes and get my earphone back when she came back into my senses.

“Kiana. Baby..” She want to laugh when Blake says her name even their call sign. I wanna puke right now.

“Sorry Mr I don’t know you.” She said flatly and turn her back. She leave the guy in the middle of the road.

I’m going home. I don’t have any plan to talk to that guy.

She stopped walking when someone grabbed her wrist. “Baby. I’m so sorry. I really do.”

I raised my brow. “What are you talking Mr?”

“I know you’re mad at me for-“

I didn’t let him finished. “Can you let go of my hand.”

Blake let go. “Oh..Sorry..”

She blow a loud breath and start walking away, again. I already say to myself that when we meet again, I will pretend that I don’t know him. And I am doing it today.

“Hey! Kiana! Baby!” the guy shout.

She throw a sharp glanced at the guy. “Can you please stop calling me?! I don’t know you! So shut up!” she said, angrily.

“What?”

She run away to escape. I will be in the chimes again because of this guy. But he followed me using his car. Using all the strength I have, I run faster until I reach my house.

“Kiana!” Lira called me.

I just wave my hands and closed my door loudly. I even lock it, if ever he was planning to come here.

I can see his car and how he come out, I can see it from my window. Mrs Gilbert stopped Blake from coming in my yard. I know Lira knew Blake because she already met him once. Lira also know what happened to us.

“You can’t come in her yard.” Mrs Gilbert says when Blake try to enter.

“Sorry Ma’am. I just need to talk to Kiana.” Blake says in a pleading voice.

How many times I prayed that Mrs Gilbert didn’t let him enter in my property. I can’t face him yet.

“Kiana?” Mrs Gilbert looked at my house. “How did you know her?”

I smiled when I noticed what Mrs Gilbert trying to do. So wicked!

“She-“

“Mom, he’s the guy.” Lira said while raising her brow.

“Oh! Come with me.” She frowned when Mrs Gilbert came in with Blake and Lira.

Mrs Gilbert knocks on her door. But she stayed in her couch watching the three waiting for her to open.

And the lady knock again. “I know you’re here. Open the door Kiana.”

Call me stubborn but I’m not going to open that door and let Blake come in, in my house, in my life again.

When Mrs Gilbert didn’t receive any answer from me she faced her daughter and Blake. “Come in our house. We need to talk first before letting you talk to her.” Mrs Gilbert says. “Lira please guide the man in our house. Kiana and I need to talk first.”

Lira nodded. Like Mrs Gilbert says, Lira guide Blake in their house.

When they already in Gilbert’s Residence, Mrs Gilbert know on my door again. This time, I opened my door. I let her in. The lady sat on the couch.

I didn’t say anything.

“Kiana, Hija. Do you still love him?”

Did I? I don’t know the answer because when I see him my heart felt angry at him.

“Do you still want him to be with you again?” Mrs Gilbert asked again. The lady took a deep breath, like she was annoyed at me. “You always do that. Avoid everyone. If I didn’t know the real you, I also left you.” Mrs Gilbert joked but I know half of she said was true.

I even hate myself for being like that but you can’t blame me. I want to protect myself from being hurt, again. I don’t want to feel being left again.

“Talk to him, Kiana. Don’t let your emotions eat you.” After that conversation with Mrs Gilbert, she left me.

I didn’t notice that I’ve been spacing out for a half hour. And if Blake didn’t wave his hands in front of my face I was still spacing out.

“Kiana..” Blake says.

She blow a deep breath. “What?”

“The door was open, so I already enter.” He says.

“I can see that.” She says flatly.

I was still sitting in my couch and Blake is in my front.

“How are you?” he asked.

“Let’s get to the point Mr.” She said.

Blake sighed because of her actions. Is he annoyed, like the others who talked to her in first time? Is he going to leave me again because of my attitude?

“I did not mean to leave you that time. I’m calling you hundreds of time but you didn’t answer any of it. I want to say that I am going to Canada but I can’t find you everywhere.” He said.

“You really can’t find me anywhere because I am in a place you can’t reach.” She said.

I can see how he frowned. “What?”

“In the 5 years. You don’t know anything about me. You don’t have any idea what I came through.”

“I- I don’t understand.”

“How can you understand you aren’t there.” She replied.

Blake looked confused.

“I’ve been in a dark room. Chained. I even don’t know where I am. I just know that those men’s are chained, lashed me, and tortured me for a year. I don’t have any idea why they do that. I’m just a pre-school teacher so why would I’ve been in that terrifying situation.” She whispered.

Pain after pain. Lashed after lashed. That’s what she experienced a year in a dark room. She seek help but no came. She thought she would only be tortured for one day but the day became a month until last year.

Blake hugged her. “God! I’m so sorry. Please don’t cry, Baby.” She did not realize that she was crying and trembling because of fear. Fear that those men’s are taking her away and tortured her again.

“I’m going to kill those men who hurt you. I promised that.” Blake says. Angry is visible in his voice. He’s mad.

“You can’t.” She said, flatly.

Blake break the hug so he can see me clearly. “Why?”

“Because someone already did that.”

“Who?”

She smiled widely. “Someone you knew.”