She is well-known in their area as a famous model. In her popularity, left and right is the project offered to her. Her fans are also flocking to her especially the men. There is also no denying that she has a charm. Not only did she make a good investment, but she also possessed a strategy so that her dream of becoming famous all over the world would be achieved. Though, luck was elusive in her palm. She has been involved in "Asia's Next Top Model " several times and she failed to get it. However, she has been in this industry for 6 years and she has come a long way. She went to different places and of course, in every place she went there was Clarice,her best friend who supported her footsteps. However if everyone thinks she is a shining star, that is a mistake. For her,these things are lacking. She is complete in everything. She gets everything immediately whatever she wants. But behind it,is the hidden sadness in her heart. She has a mother but she does not feel her love,she has a brother but they do not often get along. They only get along if she has money to spend on it. Only her father feels her value. Therefore,she grew up not caring about the world or the person she meets as long us she knows she is famous and admired. Phone rings... "Hello, sir Winston, I know you are looking for me, and of course before I accept your offer, you have to give me a high price." "Kz, but that was not my intention." "...Why did you get called, will you borrow again?"she asked in astonishment. "I will direct you, we have a new model that will endorse a new product. You know people are easily paid up with the commercial they can watch. We need to show a new face., sorry Kz." "Is that so, thank you I do not need you. There are many more to offer me. From today, you will not be my manager.... Kazzandra immediately interrupted the conversation and at the same time dropped her cellphone on the sofa. "Kaz, just slow down don't be to high blood.. go ahead, you will grow old, Clarice's joke. "What's wrong with you too?" "It's not like that, you are always rude, I noticed that, it was only a few days ago." "Clars, I know that Margo did it. She blocked my project, that woman did not fight fairly, did she think she would be famous?!" She immediately got up from her seat and got dressed to chase after Margo,her rival. Margo,was 3 years younger than her. Margo always fails to take the title from Kazzandra as a modeling veteran. And this time, it looks like Margo has a chance for her to look like a new star. ***** At Margo's house... "Nanny, please see who is pressing the buzzer,"Margo called. "OK ma'am" .... "There it is just a moment...Kz and Clarice, why did you come here?" "Nanny Vicky,is your good boss there??"Kz's opening question. "Yes ma'am. Sir Winston and ma'am Veronica are also here." Kazzandra caught Margo,her mother, Veronica and Winston in the living room. "Wow! so,sir Winston she turned out to be the one you replaced?"she asked annoyed. "Kazzandra, I hope you understand the situation. The one you endorsed are not very popular anymore, it looks like people are already looking for a new face on television."Madame Veronica replied. "Maybe you are passing away and you do not know how to take care of your fans so,they themselves reject you", Margo inserts in with a mixture of insults. "Don't make sure, you will grow old too twice on me!! " They are about to live,when nanny Vicky calls Kazzandra... "Kz, do not despair, I know you are good and many will look for you. Just trust me!"her advice. "Nanny Vicky, you are right, this is my friend! she elbowed Kazzandra at the same time. The day of Kazzandra's downfall has come. What was the speed of accepting her for a job, the opposite is the case now. She approached various agencies that used to offer her but she was not accepted. She also doesn't know why. Maybe, she has changed . She has become arrogant, she is wary of people and she not only thinks about how others feel. Nanny Vicky, she once underestimated it because of her slavery to Margo. Even Clarice did not escape her insults, that Clarice ignored her . This time, her resilience will be tested and if she can overcome it. Unexpectedly, she will enter the room, when she could hear her parents shouting. " Louisse , when will you support your child ?" William asked. " Daughter??? when you will seal your neck that I never considered her a child, because it is the truth. She was just thankful that I accepted her into my house and dressed her ! "she shouted. "Lower your voice, Kz can still hear us." " Why?? do you have no plans to tell her that we just found her across the gate and adopted, please William, she is 25 years old, she needs to know the secret we have hidden for a long time. And you know,she can find more her real mother." Kazzandra, was just standing at the door in their room. It was as if a stone had fallen from the sky at what she heard. She felt the sudden stop of the clock coming from their living room, she was deaf, she did not know why and at the same time, slowly dripping down her red cheeks. The silence in the room was broken when William saw her. "Kz, have you been there before?" "Da--dy, is it true??she asked tremblingly. "Kz, I will explain." " That's why mommy treats me like that! What did I do wrong to you??? I followed everything you wanted even if it wasn't what I wanted.Isn't it mommy??You introduced me to being a model even though I don't want to,I followed you because that's what you want!!.."At the same time, she growled. Kazzandra , do not hesitate to revolt. She went to Clarice to stay for a while. She did not save a penny during her six years of modeling . She gave all her income to her brother and mother, she gives them their luxury and even though she, is expensive, she buys trendy items even when they are not needed. Clarice is really reliable especially now that Kazzandra needs her more. Clarice is not as rich as Kazzandra but this did not hinder their friendship. Chaotic, Kazzandra is confused in what she heard about her personality. A series of shocks came into her life, she lost a job so now she is struggling to find a source of income. She knows no other job other than being a model. Two months ago when she left their house. She never showed up again. She wanted to be alone only Clarice knew where she was renting. She was not used to such a situation but she would force herself to adapt. She sold her bags,sandals,jewelry and so on even though it was worth it to her so that she could only have expenses. Until the day came when she just started being... "Kaz, this is all I know I can offer you.." "What are those Clarice??, I really need a job!" "Mrs.Atkinson is looking for...a maid...Can you do that??she said hesitantly. "Hmmm..okay, I can't do anything anymore. It doesn't matter that my reputation will be ruined, then I will be hungry!!" Mrs.Atkinson accepted her.Kazzandra is not used to that kind of work. Once, she cooked roasted turkey there, she even beat the toasted bread in disgust! ,this is even worse,when she cooked rice in the rice cooker,she stabbed it in the outlet and did not press it!!..instead of rice, the result is still raw rice!!!everything that was done was misfortune ,she seems to be the queen of stupidity. Mrs.Atkinson laughed at this. She later learned with the help of Clarice. One night , she thought, wondering where her real mother was if she still alive and looking for her,or maybe it was one of our cold corpses. She has many questions as to why her real mother left her and why her Daddy William kept her secret. She was restless,she wanted an answer. ( Calling... Daddy William...) "Kz, where are you? well, you answered me."he said excitedly. "Daddy,I miss you... I'm sorry... I'm fine don't worry." "Come home here,I'm worried about you your mommy Louisse ,she wants to ask for a call from you."she said to Kazzandra. "I know...then daddy, I will look for an answer my self, be careful there." "You too...I love you,dear." That was the first time Kazzandra had talked to her father since she left. ***** In the Cafeteria... "Kz, how are you? Are you okay?"nanny Vicky asked. "Nanny Vicky, it's okay...it's good that you still know me even though my appearance has changed a lot." "The appearance of man does not change even a few years later, he will still known for his deeds. Even destiny changes according to your wishes." "Nanny Vicky, I'm sorry for what I said to you before, because I think of you as low now, I'm experiencing it." "It's okay, because you still do not understand the meaning of real life. You go back to Sir William they are worried. You will be safer there and your life will be better... and I can be complacent."concerned said by nanny Vicky. "Oh, Kazzandra Montenegro, is that you?? I can hardly recognized you anymore! You are so lavish!! Do you know the brand new bag and sandals now? What are you wearing is even newer than nanny Vicky, you are miserable", Margo mocked. "And at least what I'm wearing fits me...you, it's expensive but it doesn't suit you, it's dazzling to look at... It's that your fashion? Are you really desperate??" Margo was about to slap Kazzandra when nanny Vicky stopped her. "Margo, it's okay for us to let Kz. Come on, let's leave Kz." "Did that witch fight you again?" "Clars, we almost had a fight here." "Nanny Vicky, doesn't condone Margo." "Yes, indeed, even before she was light-hearted with me. She is the one who mediated between us and Margo when we were arguing. Sometimes she would deliver me shrimp risotto when I was going to spend the night when I got home and when I got sick, she cooked me fish stew."Kazzandra explained. "By the way, a letter came to our house. The letter is for you. Clarice handed a letter at the same time. Before Kazzandra opened it, they sat down and ordered a cappuccino and strawberry cake. Kazzandra slowly opened the letter and she read it... Kazzandra Montenegro, I am happy with what you achieved in life . Whatever you are now it is because of your hard work on the dream you want that can change yourself. Forgive me if I just write in the letter what I want. I also know that you already know your true identity, it hurts in the beginning but if you know the real reason you may be relieved of the wound it caused .Forgive me for my sin against you. I was afraid that you would not have a life to see in the future. I became a coward to stand by you, your grandmother just died, your real father left us, went with the others . I saw sir William and I knew they were rich and famous so I thought of adopting you and leaving you in front of their house. I remembered the place I was instructed me and I did not make a mistake. I saw you on your 18th birthday and I found out that you are participating in modeling I did see you on TV, I did not interfere in your new life, so that I can see you even from afar, I worked as Margo's nanny I also found out that you two are rivals. I'm very sorry. If you read this, you will be enlightened. With love, - nanny Vicky Kazzandra cried at what she read. She immediately got up and went to her mother. Everyone already knows who Kazzandra's real mother is, even Margo was surprised by what she found out. Kazzandra went to Margo's house and took her mother. This time everything became clear. One month after... Sir Winston went to Kazzandra to bring it back to modelling and he apologized. He only managed to get Kazzandra out of work because of Margo's instigation. Because that day V&W entertainment, where Kazzandra was working, was losing money. And of course, Kazzandra was overjoyed at what she heard. She was also chosen to host the 15th Anniversary of V&W entertainment. The day of Kazzandra... "Seriously! My friend is beautiful... you are the queen tonight! "Thank you Clarice, you are part of my success in life."and she hugged her friend. "My, daughter happy return to you! sorry because I ignored your cares for us and your daddy, money blinded me so I did not think you need love" Louise said gently. "I love you mommy, even though your not my real mother..you took care of me and dressed me. You brought me here even at first I didn't want to, little by little... I loved modeling!! " "Kz, aren't you mad at daddy??" William asked with a smile. "Are you still there!?? Your strength is beyond me." then she laughed. "Kz,thank you and you forgave me quickly. Your heart is not hard,that is the real treasure that no one can claim. I love you.." "I love you too..nanny Vicky..oops..I'm wrong.. What am I going to call you??,mommy Vicky??! Thank you because I met a lot and also learned from them." the tearful saying of Kazzandra. "That's enough drama! What is this, an OSCAR??!!.." Clarice interrupted. "Kz, it will start,you will speak.."Winston said. "Here it is boss, we are still playing here.." At the same time they laugh out loud...
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4 comments
I can see the basis of the story, and I'm not the type of person to give grammatical critiques. I think for this, you need to break up the paragraphs and give some transitions. I was the same in my first story, but it makes it more readable. Also, I would recommend showing her day-to-day emotions and her interactions with others on an emotional level. Also, your dialogue is very stiff, and I think you can fix that by asking yourself if you can hear someone saying that in real life, no matter what language. Great job!! You have some potential!!
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Thank you for you comment. I really appreciate it... You're right this is my 1st time in writing😂😂
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Thank you for you comment. I really appreciate it... You're right this is my 1st time in writing😂😂
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i thought so!! You did great though!!
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