I had it all planned out. I bought flowers, I made her a drawing, I even went as far as making her a cake. I still remember it like it was yesterday. I put on a nice outfit, I had even taken a shower that morning so I could ensure that I smelt okay. I still remember that feeling of overwhelming joy as I was setting it all up. I had put a large banner above the window in her room and I remember spreading the bouquets of flowers I bought her on random shelves scattered around the place filled with all of her memories. I placed the cake on her desk and opened my computer so I could play the music playlist I had worked on for hours perfecting for her. I remember envisioning her smile and imagining how happy we would be together once she agreed to be my girlfriend. It was agony waiting for her to get home from hanging out with her friends but her mom kept me company. I still recall the sound of her door knob opening and the sound of her voice as she greeted her mother. I could hear her walking up the stairs and I felt my heart speed up. Gosh i was so happy and so excited. I could see the door knob turn and I felt like I was going to pass out. I got in position beside her bed and as she opened the door I said,
“Would you do me the honor of being my beautiful girlfriend?”
She looked around the room with a smile that could light up the whole world, then she met eyes with me and all of a sudden her smile faded and it seemed as if the world had gone dark again. She looked at me confused, almost scared as if she didn't know who I was. That was the moment where I physically felt everything fall apart. When I felt the world shift from underneath my feet.
“I’m sorry, but are you sure i know you?”
I smiled for a minute, waiting for her to laugh and come and hug me. But she never did. She stood there with the same confused look on her face. As if she truly had no idea who I was.
“You're kidding right?”
My voice shook as I spoke. I tried my hardest to act calm and put together. Surely she had to be kidding. I mean we've been friends since the first grade. She shook her head slowly and she had a look of sympathy written on her face.
“ Kayla, come on. We've grown up together. We've been friends since like the beginning of time. If you don't like me then say so but there isn't a need to go so far as pretending like we've never met.”
“ I don't think you have the right girl dude. I genuinely don't know who you are. I mean you look familiar but i don't think you're at the right house. The Kayla this is for though must be pretty lucky.”
I sat down on her bed and ran my fingers through my hair as she sat next to me.
“Look it's nothing to be embarrassed about. I've shown up to the wrong house before it's not a huge deal.”
“You seriously don't know who I am? You're not pretending just to get me to leave you alone.”
She smiled a little and a part of me felt a bit better. She lightly bumped her shoulder with mine as she spoke.
“What kind of awful person would do that to you? You seem sweet. Besides, if you really knew me you would know that I am not that kind of person. What's your name lover boy?”
It hurt to hear her ask. As if all those years of wonderful memories had somehow escaped her mind overnight.
“ I'm Phoenix, You're Kayla I can safely presume.”
“ Oh so you admit you're at the wrong house?”
No. i knew for a fact this wasn't the wrong house. I knew that the teenage girl sitting next to me was the same girl that I learned to ride a bike with when I was seven years old. I knew she was the same girl that I had fallen in love with. She laughed a little as she waited for my response and i decided to save myself from the embarrassment.
“ I guess it's a possibility that this is not the correct address”
She laughed and shook her head and after a second or two I found myself laughing with her. Although at that moment I was still confused as to how in the world she could just forget about me and all of the moments that we had shared, I figured that was a problem for tomorrow. I was going to spend tonight getting to re know this beautiful girl that was laughing in front of me. Although i didn't mind. I always loved listening to her talk. The sound of her voice was always one of my favorite sounds. And that's exactly what I did that night. We stayed up talking until the sun came up. We laughed and I told her stories about us, not that she would know. Everytime i told her a story of something that we had previously experienced together she would always laugh. Almost as if she remembered it. I still remember walking home the next day with the feeling of happiness and sorrow sitting on my shoulders. It was nice getting to talk to her that night but i still struggled to comprehend that it was possible for her to forget all about me. I didn't want to believe I was that forgettable. We didn't talk much after that night. Maybe it was because she thought it was weird that i had claimed to know her or maybe it was because it hurt me a little too much to be around her now. Whatever the reason we still don't talk. I still think about her sometimes. I'm still not really sure whether or not she forgot about me or if she was just pretending. I guess now it doesn't matter. I hope she's doing well. I would ask her but with my luck she wouldn't even remember my name.
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