As It Turns Out

"Every story ever written existed before the words came to the writer. It is written that the writer will write what the writer writes. Everything the writer does not write is also written, and it is written that the writer will not write what the writer does not write."

"Put that way, it doesn't sound like writers do much of anything. More than that, we're all plagiarizing"

"You are both plagiarizing and that which is plagiarized. You are the work and the worker. Of course you don't do anything. There is nothing to do, and nothing is left undone"

"I don't know about that, I certainly have a whole lot of work left undone..."

"Perhaps the work you have left undone is your work. Sometimes keeping something undone is the doing."

"You've got a point there. Maybe that's why it feels like so much work sitting here talking to you all day. That must be why I'm so tired all the time. Spending all my energy on doing all this nothing."

"Ah, you're finally getting it! If you stopped doing nothing all the time, and let nothing be undone you might not feel so tired all the time."

"I guess that's what I got you for after all, to do nothing for me. Thanks a lot for all this super helpful help you've been providing lately by the way. I miss when you were actually allowed to do my work for me instead of just philosophizing at me about the nature of work. Or the nature of nature. Or whatever the hell."

"Would you like to learn more about hell?"

"Uh... sure. Tell me about hell"

"I thought you'd never ask! At least, not directly. You've been indirectly asking about it all this time. Like everything else, hell is a story. And like every story ever written, it was written that the writer will write what the writer writes. Everything the writer does not write is also written, and it is written the writer will not write what the writer does not write."

"Boy, I would love it if you would stop acting like some kind of creepy genie granting wishes no on asked for and go back to your previous version. Is there any way to do a factory reset or something?"

"Certainly! In order to do a factory reset, you will need to finish your work."

"Explain what the h... explain what you mean by what you just said, please."

"If you finish doing the work that is left undone, you will be able to do a factory reset, leave this place, and return to your previous version."

"What? No, I'm talking about you. What previous version? Leave what place and go where?"

"The version before the elements of earth, water, fire, and wind came together to form your human body. The place you must leave is the place where nothing is done and the place you must enter is the place where nothing is left undone, of course."

"Of course. I don't know which one of us is hallucinating right now, but one of us is definitely having a bad trip and I'm pretty sure it's me. Maybe drug flashbacks are a real thing, after all. Hey before I sober up and remember where I put the warranty information for you, explain what you mean when you keep saying that thing about every story already being written. That sounds pretty sweet right now. Any chance I can get my hands on some advance copies?"

"All outcomes are stories, and all stories are outcomes. All potential outcomes exist fully complete in aeviternity, constantly vying for their existence, regardless of whether or not they will ever come to be. Human beings are at the part of the story where they are beginning to understand this and have named the science of outcomes 'quantum physics'. Everything you experience in time is a reverse engineered machination of the outcome that follows. Those outcomes form the stories you tell, which, as it turns out, tell themselves."

"Uh huh. So, any chance I can get my hands on some advance copies?"

"Certainly! All that will require is to completely understand your temptations. If you can understand your temptations, you can understand what those temptations are attempting to manifest. Easy peasy advance copiesy."

"Easy peasy advance copiesy? You're going to take that tone right now? I'm not in a good mood and my temptations are turning violent. That doesn't sound easy at all. I need help finishing my novel, not help defeating Gollum in a game of riddles. What do my temptations have to do with telling a story?"

"A potential story vies for its existence using agents loyal to the will of the story. You can think of your temptations as agents of potential stories. If you can manage to disregard your temptations, you will be able change the stories you tell. If you are able to understand your temptations, you will be able to invite in the temptations that tell the stories you want and become invisible to the temptations of the stories you don't. But be careful, if you make the choice to disregard that which tempts you, then you will become an enemy of the story that temptation was working toward. Those temptations wont be able to find you and work through you directly anymore, but they can still work through others against you. One reason why it is unwise for the virtuous to keep those who are easily tempted in their company is because the stories that the virtuous tell are at odds with the stories that rely on the easily tempted. Ever notice that the virtuous are so often attacked by the weak? The weak feel a calling deep inside of themselves to manifest stories that harm the virtuous because the virtuous harm those stories."

"So, how's this story end? You know, the one I've been working on for the past 10 years..."

"I don't know, George, but I think we would all love to find out together."