Sleep Walking Through Life

“STOP!”

“JUST STOP!”

“Listen to me!”, my friend yells at her husband.

He never does listen to her. It’s sad. So very sad.

As my friend recounts the conversation she attempted to have with her husband for the one thousandth time, I couldn’t help recall the similarities from her story to that of a recent video I had watched on YouTube. It was of the late, great Dr. Wayne Dyer. In this presentation, which was held in sunny California, “The Doc” as I affectionately refer to him, said many profound insights. But one item in particle has resonated with me and connects to my friend’s ongoing and repeating conversations with her husband.

Dr. Dyer said, and I am paraphrasing, more than 80 percent of all people live most of their lives on auto pilot. He elaborated that most people’s daily activities are done at a subconscious level. Meaning from the moment they wake till the time they go to sleep, most people have established a robotic-like habit of performing the same tasks over and over again. He continued, “They barely think about what they are doing or what they are going to do from one moment to the next.”.

Some examples from “The Doc” included one’s morning routine. From the time they wake and their feet hit the floor, people tend to do the same things over and over again. They wake, they get out of bed, they go to the bathroom, grab a cup of coffee, maybe workout, take a shower, get dressed for work, hop in the car, drive to work taking the same route, punch in, talk to the same people, perform the same tasks, take lunch, finish work, hop back in their car, drive home taking the same route just in reverse as in the morning, have dinner, check the mail, watch the news, play with the kids, read a book or watch television and then go back to bed. Only to wake up the next day to do it all over again. Wash, rinse, and repeat. Day in and day out.

Unfortunately, this has become all too common practice for most Americans. 

This process of thoughtless, mechanical behavior is not new. In most cases, it has become a sort of tradition passed down from generation to generation over decades.

Sadly, it is a rare few who are able to recognize this and do something to change. Most times it is only when the individual runs into a reality check or life detour that something momentous enough has the ability to shake them from sleep walking through life.

Typically, the life event epic enough to wake them is a scare event such as a major health issue or a financial hit like the loss of their job or even the company closing, just to name a few. 

Such is the case as in recent times with the global pandemic. Many people found themselves in this exact predicament and came face-to-face with their own life changing wake up call.

Those persons who were the least influenced by their newfound life’s detour experience were those who were able to perform mental gymnastics. They were able to shift their focus, change their mindset and pivot into a new life. Many found a new job in the same or different field. Some had to relocate and saw this as a new adventure. While others decided they no longer wanted to work for someone else and decided to go out on their own and start a business or new endeavor.

Those with a positive mindset found the shake up less disastrous. They made the conscious decision to be flexible, adaptable, and malleable of mind, body, and spirit. This gave them agility to see life’s detours as an opportunity not a hardship. These same individuals came to an understanding that life happens and situations change, but with a good attitude they found an edge. They became bold and courageous when facing times of strife and stress. Overcoming obstacles and challenges teaches one a sense of pride and humility while being able to see the world from a new perspective in an awakened state of being and living.

Unfortunately, my friend’s husband didn’t have this clarity of mind nor a willingness to consider other options. He failed to listen to his wife or her advice. She tried to tell him how they could use this time to retire and travel to all the places they had talked about visiting. But, to her sadness and dismay, he refused. 

My friend has begun her plans to travel the world and enjoy her golden years. She was heartbroken to be put into the situation where she needed to file for a divorce. They had been high school sweethearts and she had believed they would live the rest of their lives together. But she came to realize her husband was stuck in his ways. Depression had set in, and he refused all forms of assistance. My friend realized that she could no longer help her husband. He needed to find the answers himself. 

So, my friend made the decision to file and chose her own happiness over a lifeless marriage. She has begun making plans to travel abroad. She plans on starting with a trip to Paris and then off to the Sistine Chapel. Two places she’d always wanted to visit and her top two bucket list items. After that, she is non-committal and has no set plans. She’s determined to be going wherever the wind takes her. It’s wonderful to see the twinkle in her eye again and a smile on her face.

What happened to her husband you ask? Sadly, he couldn’t make the change. He was too stuck in his ways and refused to consider taking a leap of faith into a new life. After the divorce, he stayed in their home until the bank foreclosed on it. It’s been rumored that he spent time staying with friends and family jumping from couch to couch. As of recent, I’ve heard he has found himself a cheap trailer. He never did find gainful employment and continues to live all alone.