Sunset Isle

Submitted into Contest #83 in response to: Write a fantasy story about water gods or spirits.... view prompt

4 comments

Fantasy Friendship Middle School

Lynn splashed in the tropical cove that was her home. Her shimmery blue green hair shone in the sun. It almost looked like water, her beautiful hair. It was down to her waist, and she usually had it down, with a waterfall braid curving around her head. 

Her ears were big and pointed. She was like an elf of the sea, except she was a water spirit, or a tele h’ai, which means “children of the sea”. She was beautiful. She was giggling to herself in the paradise of the tropical island in which she lived, called Sunset Isle. 

Only a few humans lived there, and they came only in the fall, to fish. Lynn watched them with curious eyes. There was one. One she always saw. He had come for 10 years in a row. She let her guard down around him. 

“Lynn!” Lynn’s friend, Dori, called. “Lynnie!” 

“What, Dori?” Lynn replied, exasperated. 

“The queen wants all of us in the coral reef, quickly!” 

“Oh no, what’s wrong?” 

“I’m not sure, just it’s something grand. Even the hunters are returning from the springs!” Dori replied, fear present in her greenish eyes. 

Lynn furrowed her eyebrows. “What?! The hunters!? They live in solitude, I haven’t seen them in weeks! This must be bad news.” 

Dori nodded. “Well, we’ll know soon enough. Let us join our noble queen.” 

They both dived down and swam through the beautiful warm turquoise water. Other tele h’ai swam through the deep, calling to each other in the h’ain language. 

J’koine!” 

“H’kulta?” 

“She’ea” 

Finally, the tele h’ai arrived. They sat under the water, their small gills flapping in the water. Lynn looked at her webbed hands and then looked at the queen. She had pale white hair, a symbol of leadership. She wore a crown woven of tropical leaves and kelp. Her name was Shae’oina. You would be given a traditional name whence you became leader. 

“Order! I have brought you to attention today to make an announcement. The humans, not the ones that come to fish, but those who live on the mainland of the United States, the leaders, have decided to colonize the tele h’ai.” 

Several gasps. One water spirit gave an anguished cry. 

“The leader received a grainy photo of one of us. None of you, but one of a colony to the north. Up near the coast of Greenland. One of the tribes down in the Gulf of Mexico has been slaughtered. But we will no longer stand by. None of the tele h’ai will this time. No. I want a time where we last more than 3 generations before being almost extinct, and bouncing back. I want the tele h’ai to step out of the shadows. I want us to rejoice in front of J’lointa, the Mother Sun. I want you, just like me when I was a young girl, to feel the sand on your feet. We will step out of the shadows.” 

She looked at the tele h’ai. Several were speechless. A few were clapping. An older water spirit smiled. 

“The way of J’lointa and the leaders of the tele h’ai tribes have spoken. We are incredibly powerful, ancient beings. We, the first beings on Earth, will go to war.” 

The Sunset Tribe cheered. Most of them. Lynn felt as if her world was crashing down.

The tele h’ai stood up and made for the armory. They began equipping armor and grabbing bows and arrows made of sharpened coral and very strong tropical wood and the feathers of cormorants. 

Except Lynn. Lynn swam up to the surface, hiding behind coral and dolphins as she did. Why did they have to go to war when she was alive?! What about that 6 year war during the 40’s that she heard about? She swam to a human bridge that she could hide behind. She liked to watch that human boy from there. 

She couldn’t stand it. He’d die. The tele h’ai could easily overpower the humans. She didn’t mind the humans. 

Lynn knew they polluted, but some were trying to fix it. She saw this boy picking up plastic from the bay. She saw him talking to the birds. She saw his brother ruffling his hair and taunting him. She longed to talk to him. Just for a minute. Just to warn him. But the tele h’ai were forbidden from talking to humans. 

He was sitting on the bridge, just meters from where Lynn lurked like a predator. She heard him singing softly. How could they rage war? Why not march to where the leaders lived and reason with them? How could they destroy such innocent, kind people? 

The boy was 18, barely old enough to have access to the world. Lynn was 17. The palm trees swayed in the beautiful tropical sun. Lynn almost talked, her mouth was open, when she clamped a pale green hand over her mouth and sighed. 

Suddenly the noise of a propeller filled the air. Tele h’ai popped up from the cove, pulling back their bowstrings. The boy was the only human on the island. 

His eyes widened. The boy gasped. He ran to the end of the bridge, yelling in the human tongue “STOP! STOPPIT!” 

Not at the spirits, but at the small planes that were like birds in the skies. His voice faltered with desperation and he dove into the water. 

Lynn cursed in h’ain. “Mei’noka!” 

The boy was just feet away now. She knew that humans usually closed their eyes while they swam, especially in salt water. 

She tried to swim, but she got caught in a net. A net that some human had planted for the war. She struggled. She had forgotten her whale bone knife!

Suddenly the boy surfaced. “Why-why aren’t you with the others that look like you?” he said in disbelief. 

“I might ask the same for you.” Lynn replied, pulling at the nets that were digging into her skin. 

The boy laughed. “Do you need some help?” 

“Please.” 

He dove back under and she felt the net loosen. “I thought your kind was a legend.” The boy said when he surfaced. 

“No. We’re not.” 

“Are those...gills?”

“Yes. They are. Wait. There’s something on your lower stomach… A hole. Have you been bitten by a sand flea? I’ve heard of them.” 

The boy laughed again. “No. They don’t have those here. That hole is a belly button.” 

“Where’d you get it?” Lynn said, flabbergasted. 

“Every human’s got one. It’s a scar from being born.” 

“Interesting. Wait! Have you heard about the war?” 

“Yes.” 

A thought stung Lynn like a bee. “What am I doing here?! This is forbidden, I shouldn’t be talking to you. Definitely not now!” 

She dove under the waves and swam through the boglike water. It was hard to swim in and felt heavy somehow. 

The boy, almost as good a swimmer as her, though limited by his lack of gills, caught up to her. “Why’d you run?” 

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why aren’t you fighting?” 

“Because I know that humans don’t deserve it. Some do. But not all. Why are you here?” Lynn said softly. No need to tack on that she was saying that he didn’t deserve it. She felt he already knew. 

“Because my family hates me. I have no friends. This feels more like a home then anywhere ever has.” 

“Did you know that I existed?” 

“All these years, I’ve seen something out of the corner of my eye. Drove my mom crazy. Told me I was crazy. All of them did. Now I realize it was you.” 

A whizzing ball of fire hit the cove. The spirits dove under the water, none of them getting hurt. 

“We have to warn the others. The kids that play on the beach when the humans are gone.” Lynn said. 

The boy nodded. “What’s your name?” he said as they swam down the stream and into the open ocean. They had to swim around the bay to reach the beach. 

“Lynn. How about you?” 

“Nick. You know, the books I read about your kind, they said you were called Nereids. Is that true?” 

“Those are my kind’s cousins, from Greek waters. They are rare as diamonds. Our proper name is tele h’ai.” 

Nick nodded. He was getting tired. “I can’t go on, Lynn.” 

“I’ll carry you.” Nick got on her back, and Lynn felt her face go hot. What was wrong with her? Why couldn’t she have had a crush on one of her own kind? 

They swam to the beach. The water spirit children were playing, oblivious. They giggled. “Kids! You have to run! Go to the Hidden Caves!” Lynn yelled.

They obeyed. 

Nick collapsed on the beach, and Lynn cautiously sat next to him. The planes were leaving. The tele h’ai had won the battle.

“Let’s stay in touch, okay?” Nick said. “I’m going to live here full time now.” 

Lynn nodded, biting back her grief. She saw the dolphins doing the dance of mourning. She wondered who had died. And she wanted Nick to stay. But she knew he couldn’t. If anyone ever found out…

Nick kissed her wet cheek. “See you.” 

“Farewell.” 

She stayed on the beach for hours. She knew Nick was lingering at the edge of the palm tree forest, just out of sight. She knew he was a very quiet walker. Lynn had seen him spying on his happy family. She knew that he mumbled angry things. She’d heard him. 

She knew that he was there. She knew he was watching her while she fell asleep on the beach, almost in the water. 

She knew that he’d come close, watching her for a long time while she slept. 

She knew that when she woke up, he’d be there, that he didn’t want to leave her, no more than she wanted to leave him.

She knew that their friendship was forbidden. 

Lynn knew a great many things. It was in her nature.

But did she care? Now that is the question. 

February 28, 2021 19:37

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4 comments

08:14 Mar 11, 2021

This is very imaginative! I love the way you take traditional mythological ideas and give them your own spin. I also enjoyed the way you used your own language in the text, that was nice, immersive world-building. I especially enjoyed the interaction about the belly button, that made me laugh. :) As for editing points: I feel like you give us a lot of description and tell us quite a lot of information at the beginning, especially in the first two paragraphs: "Lynn splashed in the tropical cove that was her home. Her shimmery blue green h...

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Pippin Took
01:32 Mar 13, 2021

Thanks so much for the tips, I love that you took the time to write this comment, it really means a lot. Obviously, you know what you're doing. Those tips make a lot of sense, I'll be sure to keep them in mind. I decided that my story was heavy, so I wanted to add a light comedy bit. You know, like the Oliphaunt scene in LOTR, the one where Gimli's like "That still only counts as one!" Tell me if you have any stories you'd like me to read and comment on. Thanks!

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08:29 Mar 13, 2021

I love LOTR. (I'm guessing you do too from your user name and profile pic lol). Yes, I know what you mean about trying to intersperse comedy with the action. I think you do that very well here. I would love for you to read and comment on any of my stories -- all criticism helps us to improve! :) I don't mind which you choose, whichever takes your fancy, thank you :)

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Pippin Took
19:28 Mar 13, 2021

No problem. Yes, I'm a fantasy nut XD. Despite my profile pic and the username, Legolas is actually my favorite character, with Pippin a close second. Thanks again for the tips.

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