Waiting For The Truth

She was waiting. Again. Fiona Rivers sighed, leaning her back against the cold brick of the alleyway, taking a long drag of her cigarette. Ever since she met Mattie Chain she felt like she was playing a game of cat and mouse, and she wasn’t sure if she was the rodent or the feline. Mattie was beautiful, and it was their bright green eyes that had caught Fiona’s attention to begin with, shining in the dim light of the bar in which they first met. Since then, after the passing of a few months, they had grown extremely close.

This was an unusual state of affairs for Fiona, for she wasn’t close with anyone, not even her own parents, who lived halfway round the world with a convenient inability to pick up the phone. She’d never had any proper relationships before, never able to hold onto a partner for very long without anxiety and jealousy taking over. No-one seemed to understand her or be able to handle her changeable moods. She couldn’t blame them. With Mattie, though, things were different. Fiona could speak to them for hours on end without getting bored or drained from the socialization. They both laughed and acted dumb, and with her new partner Fiona felt light, freer than ever before.

It was for this reason that Fiona put up with Mattie’s constant tardiness. They never seemed to be on time for dates or hanging out and were always dashing off randomly. It was curious, and Fiona had always been rather inquisitive, and this was no exception. So, she concocted a plan to find out exactly what was going on with Mattie.

When the short-haired, green-eyed beauty finally entered the alleyway, the moon was shining brightly up ahead. Mattie flashed sparkling teeth as they smiled and ran a hand through tussles of dyed black hair.

“Sorry I’m late, babe” Mattie took Fiona’s hand and kissed it softly.

“Where were you?” Fiona questioned, kissing her partner on the cheek.

Mattie tapped their nose as if to say, ‘for me to know and you to find out’, clearly avoiding the question.

“Alright, be like that” Fiona chuckled slightly, pecking Mattie’s lips, and taking their hand.

The date was pleasant enough, a candlelit dinner of Italian food and plenty of wine. Fiona couldn’t help but notice that Mattie was distracted, though, and she herself couldn’t help but become both more curious and annoyed at their behavior.

“Alright, what’s up with you?” Fiona finally blurted out, staring across the table at Mattie with wide brown eyes.

“Nothing” Mattie smiled, nonchalantly taking a sip of wine.

“You seem distracted, hon” Fiona raised an eyebrow.

“I’m just…a little busy at the moment” Mattie sighed. “Work stuff”.

“Oh” Fiona nodded. “The factory?” She remembered that Mattie worked at a clothes factory, designing, and making, all sorts of pretty items.

“Yeah” Mattie spoke unconvincingly. “We’ve got to fill a new store by next week” They added.

“Right”.

Something deep in Fiona’s gut told her that Mattie was not being honest. Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but get lost in her partner’s eyes and beautiful smile, becoming transfixed by their conversations. No-one else had ever spoken to her like Mattie did; seeming to truly understand her on an eerily deep level.

They spoke about how Fiona’s moods fluctuated so much, and she often felt like there must be some kind of veil wrapped around her perception of reality, hiding some strange truth.

“I know it doesn’t really make any sense” Fiona gulped, nervous to be speaking about her experiences even with Mattie.

“It makes sense” Mattie took Fiona’s hand with a reassuring smile.

“And, you know, I don’t know if this will be reassuring or not, but, there’s a theory that future technologies will be used to create virtual worlds so realistic the inhabitants wouldn’t know they were fake, and if that is the case, there would be so many that statistically we’re probably in one of them now” Mattie informed.

“Yeah?” Fiona frowned. “What do you think?”

“I think that’s bull” Mattie spoke confidently. “You seem perfectly real to me” They were smooth, Fiona had to admit.

“Isn’t that something a computer program would say?” She retorted.

“Probably” Mattie smirked. “Guess we’ll never know” They shrugged. “One thing I do know is Cognito ergo sum, I think therefore I am”

“Descartes” Fiona nodded with an impressed smile. “I know I’m real, but I can’t know that you are”.

“Exactly” Mattie nodded, taking another gulp of their drink, before suddenly directing their attention to their beeping phone. “Sorry” They stood up, pulling the phone out of the pocket of their black leather jacket. “I gotta take this”.

With that, Fiona was left alone, sipping her wine, and looking awkwardly around the room.

Eventually growing sick of waiting, Fiona grabbed a cigarette from her date’s black shoulder bag and made her way outside. As she lit up and took a drag, a familiar, slightly husky voice filled her ears. Mattie. She could hear them talking to someone, very seriously at that, and she followed the voice around the corner of the restaurant, where she hid in the shadows and listened.

“I know perfectly well what I signed up for and it wasn’t this” Mattie affirmed. “No…I know” They sighed. “But we can’t just terminate her”.

What the hell? Fiona frowned, trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

“Yeah, I’ll be there soon” Mattie hung up the phone and began walking towards where Fiona was hiding.

With a rushing heartbeat Fiona shuffled forward and quickly made her way to the usual smoking area, trying to look casual as Mattie spotted her.

“Hey” Mattie greeted, taking Fiona’s free hand. “I’m really sorry, I’ve gotta go”

“Work?” Fiona raised her eyebrows, not hiding her disdain.

“Yeah” Mattie smiled solemnly. “Sorry” They kissed Fiona’s cheek and walked away, fading into the darkness of the night.

After waiting a few moments, Fiona decided to enact her plan. In truth, it wasn’t much of a plan, but it was something; follow Mattie on their disappearances. Yes, it was a violation of trust and privacy, but something shady was going on, and Fiona just had to know what.

She walked quickly, making sure to keep herself in the shadows, until she caught up with Mattie, quickly stepping a few paces behind them. One thing was for sure; they weren’t going to the factory. Fiona kept her black hood up, and her eyes fixed on the figure ahead as they exited the center of the city and through the backstreets.

Fiona was beginning to feel unsafe, like a million eyes were watching her in the darkness, but she was determined to continue her mission. Eventually they stopped outside a large, dark-bricked warehouse, and Fiona hid behind a dirty skip as she watched Mattie enter the building. The girl then quickly made her way to the window and carefully peaked through, her eyes squinting at the bright artificial light.

Inside the building clashed violently with it’s exterior. While the outside was dingy and old looking, the inside was pristine and contemporary, with many silver metallic appliances and a long, sleek black sofa. What caught Fiona’s eye the most, though, was the semi-circle formed of four people, including Mattie, stood in front of a large projector and a man who seemed to be in charge, with a neat grey suit and suspicious dark eyes. He was speaking confidently, but Fiona couldn’t hear the words, though they seemed to be transfixing the group.

A sickly feeling of dread overtook Fiona’s curiosity as she looked again at the projections. They were pictures of her. As a baby, with rosy round cheeks, a child, whose sour expression was almost constant, a teenager, an adult, pictures of her that must have been taken as recently as that very morning. She considered that perhaps she was hallucinating, or dreaming, something, because this just couldn’t be real. But it was. It was all too real.

In her shock, Fiona failed to move quickly enough out of sight as Mattie caught her gaze. Their eyes widened and Mattie slightly moved their head to the left to signal to Fiona she needed to move. She complied and hid herself away from the window, breathing heavily, trying to get her thoughts straight.

After a few moments she heard the warehouse door creak open and began to panic as Mattie found her. They looked at Fiona for a few moments, fear and sadness in their eyes, before taking her hand and beginning to speak.

“Fiona, let me explain”

“Yeah, explain” Fiona spoke irritably, fighting the urge to hit the betrayer she saw in front of her.

“We need to leave first, now!” Mattie took her hand and they both jogged away from the warehouse, making their way down one of the many dark alleyways, where the light was so dim they could barely even see each other. Despite everything, Mattie’s warmth was enough to comfort Fiona at least a little.

“What’s going on?” Fiona breathed out.

“You weren’t supposed to find out” Mattie gulped. “Not like this”.

“I wasn’t supposed to find out what?” Fiona crossed her arms.

“Have you ever wondered why sometimes your moods and thoughts are so changeable? Why sometimes you have experiences you can’t explain, little ‘glitches’?” Mattie spoke in a serious tone, the likes of which sounded wrong coming from the usually upbeat and sarcastic person Fiona knew.

“I mean, I have issues” Fiona shrugged, laughing nervously, and trying to lighten the mood.

“Fiona…you’re” Mattie sighed. “You’re artificial” They informed.

Fiona laughed, not really knowing how to react. It must have been some kind of joke.

“What are you on about?” She chuckled.

“I’m serious” Mattie took Fiona’s hands. “You were created in a lab by Turing Inc., they wanted to make a truly artificially conscious person”. They took a moment before speaking again. “You’re a computerized set of neural networks inside a silicon body, with an electric nervous system”.

Fiona frowned.

“That's why you’ve never gotten sick, Fiona. That’s why you don’t get hurt” Mattie let go of Fiona’s hands. “I really am sorry I didn’t tell you sooner” They spoke earnestly.

“Come on” Fiona put a hand on her partners shoulder. “This is a really weird joke”.

“It’s not a joke” Mattie assured.

“Prove it” Fiona spoke defiantly.

Mattie breathed out heavily and took a knife from their jean pocket, handing it to Fiona with slightly shaking hands.

“Cut yourself” They instructed. “You’ll see what I mean”.

Fiona reluctantly took the knife, thinking Mattie must be taking the joke too far, and would stop her once she actually went to do it. They didn’t stop her, though, and the knife slashed Fiona’s open palm, revealing no blood, but strange bluish-white liquid, and an assortment of vein-like blue wires.

“What the…” Fiona trailed off, staring at her hand in disbelief.

“You’re part of the government’s scheme to create AI, Fiona. You’re model number fifty. Number fifty one’s near completion” Mattie’s voice held an undertone of guilt. “I didn’t know what it was when I signed up. I…I was just a small-time coder taking classes in AI”.. They lent back against the wall and took in a deep breath. “They asked me to help with some of the programming, and then…before I knew it I was part of the last stage in your testing process”.

“Last stage?” Fiona was beginning to feel as though the world was spinning furiously around her.

“To see if you could love and make someone else fall in love with you” Mattie whacked their head against the wall in frustration. “I knew it was messed up, I just…I didn’t know until it was too late, and I…I didn’t want to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you” Mattie stepped forward and took Fiona’s hands. “I don’t want to lose you” They looked into her eyes. "I love you".

“So, you do love me?” Fiona furrowed her eyebrows. “But…I’m fake” She could feel the weight of an existential crisis looming in her guts.

“You’re not fake” Mattie insisted. “You’re just artificial, there’s a difference”.

“I guess” Fiona shrugged. “I mean, it’s weird” She gulped. “A part of me isn’t that surprised. I always felt kind of…off. Like, my memories and thoughts just don’t feel very authentic”.

“That’s because your memories were programmed, implanted” Mattie revealed yet another terrible fact.

“Right” Fiona tried to feel something, sadness, fear, but, all she could feel was hazy, and a little betrayed. “What about the pictures?” She questioned, remembering the disturbing slideshow she saw earlier.

“I’m sorry” Mattie breathed out. “The one's of you as a kid...they're faked”.

It was clear to Fiona that her changeable emotions and frequent dissociation were not that uncommon in ‘real’ humans, and so, perhaps she was a successful instance of truly conscious AI. Or perhaps she was just a mixed-up mistake.

“I know this is a lot” Mattie sympathized. “But we have to move quickly…they always terminate the old program before activating the new one”.

“That’s what you meant” Fiona received a flash of realization as she remembered what she had overheard when listening to Mattie on the phone.

“I’ve been trying to convince them to change their mind, let you live, but they’re worried about too many AIs running about, letting the secret get out” Mattie spoke urgently, clearly itching to get away. “I won’t let them hurt you” Tears welled up in Mattie’s eyes. “I love you too much”.

“I…I love you too” Fiona pecked Mattie on the lips, wiping their tears, before turning her mind rationally to the situation at hand. “What can we do?” The artificial woman could feel a beating in her chest, and, though she wasn’t sure she could call it her heart, it was certainly racing.

“We’ll leave the country, dye your hair, get you contacts” Mattie began to regale her with their plan. “I’ve got some money saved up, and we can get jobs, we’ll figure it out” They assured, holding Fiona’s hands tighter.

“Okay” Fiona pressed her lips together nervously, still not sure if she could trust Mattie.

When she looked into their eyes, only just illuminated by the stars and moon, Fiona saw truth, and hope, and she knew that Mattie was the only person in the world that she could possibly trust in that moment.

…

She was waiting. Again. Mattie was always running late. Fiona sat patiently on the small wooden chair on their newly decked-out patio, the evening sun shining its warmth on her face. Their little french cottage always looked the most beautiful in the evenings.

Soon a familiar figure rode up the small hill on a bike, riding down the stony path to their home. Mattie practically jumped off the bike, grabbed a set of flowers from its basket, and rushed excitedly over to their wife, handing her the exquisite white roses along with a peck on the cheek.

“Evening, darling” Mattie spoke cheerfully, taking the seat next to Fiona.

“Ah, so these are why you’re late today” Fiona sniffed the sweet perfume of the flowers, grateful for her rescuer.