Teachings

I felt my eyelashes fluttering; lightly and swiftly meeting my skin for a period of time as I scanned the plethora of people that buzzed by either looking like they haven’t slept in three days or people that had layers upon layers looking regretful yet excited. I held my coat closer to my body, and I looked out the huge windows revealing a dark, misty, and foggy sky.

Huffing my breath deeply, I turned my head to face my classmate. “When are we leaving to go to the plane?”

“Should be leaving in a little bit,” she muttered mindlessly, but suddenly snapping awake as she whispered loudly leaning in towards me, “Why are they looking at us all weird?” As she scrunched her nose in a horrid attempt to intimidate them, I realized that some people were looking at my class weirdly.

I held back the inclination to daunt them as well minding the fact that we will be richer and more successful than them very soon.

Just one more year of medical school, and then we’ll be one enormous step closer to becoming doctors. One step closer to finally be able to live in mansions and be driven around in our very own limousines. To finally spare my mother from working so hard from when I was smaller and to finally provide her with a luxurious life that she deemed difficult and nearly impossible for us to achieve. A life that she deserves.

Rolling my eyes at the foreigners, our teacher announces that we should start heading towards the plane. She advised us to take care of what we needed to do before boarding, for we would be in Mexico soon.

Working in a hospital as students.

One more step…

Trying not to let my pride overcome the image of my mother in my mind, I make my way to the bathroom. Within minutes of departing from my group, I grunt, failing to locate it.

“I don’t have time for this,” I mutter, rubbing my temple. “Where is the bathroom?”

And just then, I hear a terrifying screech. I panic, already feeling as if I’m in a fever dream, stumbling around looking for the source of the scream.

Suddenly, an array of people rush past me and some brush against me pushing me into a group. And then I see it.

A man sat down near the boy and brought out a small briefcase of medical supplies. A mother wailed while she held two other small children in her arms. A man who had an uncanny resemblance to the children was situated over the boy, and that is when I realized how small the boy was. He didn’t even seem ten years old.

The father whispered, “Please, save him, doctor.” He hiccuped and stated haltingly, “He just fainted.”

“This is his first trip,” his mother explained, rubbing her eyes and caressing her very small children with her skimpy arms. “It’s his birthday tomorrow. He was turning 9. We finally had enough money, so we wanted to take him to Disney World.” The next statement was barely audible, “He always wanted to go to Disney World.”

The father, who had deep, dark eyebags but light eyes, placed his hand on his son’s. He scratched his scruff with this other hand. He looked at his son solemnly, but his eyes held deep concern.

The little boy had a hollow face but a plethora of freckles filled the areas where color did not. His dark skin was accompanied by drops of water making their way down to his neck and ears. As I watched the doctor check the boy, I heard a sniffle arise from the already muttering and concerned crowd.

“Mommy, he ate peanuts,” the little girl whispered, now wiping the back of her hands against her eyes. The tears embellished her already stunning eyes, but I felt an uneasy feeling forming in my stomach as I watched her pour her eyes out when her parents’ frantically informed the doctor that he was severely allergic to peanuts.

There was a period of pure commotion and pandemonium, but I couldn't help to think that this would’ve been his first trip; just like mine. His dream would’ve come true.

Would’ve.

But he was so young?

Only 9 years old.

Was he going to be okay?

I instinctively bit my nails trying to grasp a water bottle. I walked away, trying not to pass out myself, into a shop. While frantically drinking water, I ran over all the possible remediations that a child would need if they had a severe peanut allergy. I hadn’t realized I had been shaking when I heard the roaring sounds of an ambulance.

He was serious.

The doctor couldn’t help him with an Epi-Pen.

And just like that my heart shattered. 

I hadn’t even known that boy’s name, but the fact that he wasn’t even a decade old, that he had dreams and wanted to explore the seemingly endless world, and possibly had gorgeous eyes just like the rest of his family, resulted in me feeling something.

My stomach ripped apart. My throat was so dry to a point where I couldn't even swallow my own saliva. I felt my heart thumping. I couldn’t stop shaking, and I felt as if my stomach was empty. 

Food?

Water?

What did I need?

Medicine?

I wasn’t sick.

What happens when someone has this kind of feeling? A feeling where you can’t breathe, and you are in denial. I don’t know…

The textbooks and medical school didn’t teach me this.

Could I have seen it coming? Could I have helped that doctor help that little boy get up right then and there so that he could experience a trip to the “happiest place in the world?”

I walked past the strangers, the sobbing parents, the worried children, and finally met the cold handle of the door.

I splashed my face with cold water and looked at myself in the mirror. The dark secluded lighting of an airport washroom never satisfied me from when I observed them in movies, but now I realize that sometimes you have to be gloomy to accept the wrongs that you have done.

I stared at a person with deep eye-bags and messed up hair wearing a frown. They looked as if they hadn’t slept in an eon. When I became aware of my settings, I noticed I had been staring into the mirror and immediately started crying.

How could I?

Only wanting to become a doctor for the money.

Not to save lives.

⋆⋆⋆

“What happened to you?” my classmate asked me. “Aren’t you going to go to the football game today?”

“I can’t,” I replied, focusing on my books and lab supplies. “I’m trying to find out what happens when someone has allergies.”

“What do you mean? Like, peanut allergies?”

“Well, yes, but it’s not just confined to peanuts.”

“Okay, cool, but I thought you loved football? You already did all the work you needed to do.”

“I know, but I want to help people.”

She threw her hands up in astonishment, “But I thought we just wanted to become rich? Right? Live in mansions and live off our money. Lavishly.”

“I know but being a doctor means that you have a job. You have to save people and help people to the best of your abilities before you get the,” and I hand gestured, “Reward.”

I could tell she rolled her eyes. “Okay, then, have a good one. You did change after the trip, you know? You were pale when you boarded the plane, and you weren’t yourself during the mission trip.”

“I know I wasn’t. I’m sorry. I hope you understand.”

“How do I understand? You don’t understand that you need to tell me what’s wrong! So, I can help you with whatever you are dealing with!”

“I know, I know. I know I told you at the beginning that I just wanted to become a doctor to get all this money, but-”

“To help your mom! To supply her with the mansion that she deserves! That’s what you said right?”

“Right, but I now realize that you have to save people’s lives first.”

“There’ll be plenty of that.”

“Only if we prioritize the things that need to be prioritized.”

Rolling her eyes once more, she spat, “You know where to find us if you want to come enjoy your life.”

I let her go before I smiled sadly and whispered, “I want others to enjoy their lives first.”

But thanks.