Tricked Again, By the Tushies

“Good morning, sleepy head!” my oldest sister, Braylin, said. She was always up before me due to her job. She works at a beauty Parlor called Yo Hair is Did. It’s cringe if you ask me. I think the name needs a little workshopping. I walked into the kitchen and made a bowl of what looks like mud (grits). Sometimes my sister makes me biscuits on the weekends, but lately, she hasn’t been able to due to her job at the salon. 

“Are you excited about the mud run today?”  

“Sure thing! Are you going to be able to make it?

My sister hasn’t ever kept her promises. She said mom wouldn’t die, but guess how that turned out. She also told me I could get a dog if Mom ever died, which she also said wouldn’t happen. The mud run was a big deal in our family. My Nanna and Pops both won in 1956. They were legends until Wyatt Tush came and took the trophy out from under their hands. I still have grief with that guy, even though he’s dead. “I promise, little sis!” She said with a grin, kissing me and walking out the door.

Once my sister leaves to work, I check on the livestock. We have horses, pigs, and cows. They’re like family to me. My favorite is Bessie, our senior cow. She’s been with us since the gold rush (not literally). My daily chores are mucking the hose stalls and milking the cows. Pigs are self-maintained animals (I hope). I opened the stall door of Lenny-an American Quarter horse- and got a whiff of whatever came out of his rear end. So I grabbed my shovel and wheelbarrow and started to do my job. Next, I go to the pasture with the cows. We have 12 cows- not that many, I know. After I milk them and clean up, I go to the market. “Good morning Bill!” I exclaim with a massive smile to the owner of the market. 

“What can I help you with?”

“Nothing much. Just this list.”

After an hour or so, I head to my sister's salon. “Hey, Big Sis!” I exclaim. “Are you ready for the mud run tonight?” I question, hoping she’ll say yes. 

“I sure am!”

“Great! See you then!”

 Later that night, I was getting ready for my victory. I might be small, but I sure can run through some mud. I slipped my comfiest boots on and tighten my belt buckle. Ready to kick some tushies.

I made my way to the starting line where my sister was supposed to be. I knew in my heart that she wouldn’t show up. Every night dreaming about a time she’s supposed to show up is worthless. 

“Ready, steady, set, go!”

I started strong, but a guy was a bit stronger. He had a gun on his holster that was pointing straight at my foot. I hadn’t seen him around town, but he looked like somebody I knew. I climbed up the rope ladder. It would be a lot more fun if Braylin were here. She always knew how to make things fun, especially the mud run. The guy was next to me again when he took a sharp turn and pushed me off into the distance. Before I knew it, he had won. “This is what I live for!!!!!!” He yelled as obnoxiously as possible.

 “I win, losers!!!”

I can’t stand people like him. I think it was time for him to learn that it was upsetting.

“Excuse me, sir?”

“Yes, ma’am?”

“Do you know how crazy you sound?”

“Well, I think I am a very calming person.”

“It’s a rhetorical question, you dummy,” I said, walking away in disgust.

“Wait. I didn’t catch your name,” He yelled from a distance.

This mud run is one of the worst ones because it’s where I want to cry. Not because I lost but because of my sister. She promises everything to me but never sticks to her word. She needs to learn, so I’m going to show her.    

It was a new day and not a mud run. My sister didn’t wake me up this morning. Instead, I woke up to the sound of the doorbell. Ding Dong!

“Hello?” I said while opening my eyes to the first sight of daylight.

“Hi. My name is_” I interrupted him before he could finish.

“You're that guy who is a ding dong.” I slammed the door before he could reply. If that guy had anything to say, he could tell the door. 

I headed to the pasture like yesterday to do my daily chores but came across a missing cow. Bessie was gone! I rushed to Braylin’s salon to get help (everybody knows a salon has all the gossip). 

“Braylin!” I yelled, realizing I had just spoken to her. My goal was to ignore her to teach her a lesson about keeping her word, but Bessie comes first. 

“I thought you were mad at her?” The woman behind the counter said.

“It’s none of your business,” I said with some spark. 

“Kaitlyn? Is that you?” My sister said, coming in from the other room. “What are you doing here?”

“Bessie’s gone missing!” 

“Oh no!” A woman said from the salon chair. She was getting her hair dyed blonde, but I think she might be better off with gray hair. 

“Let’s go find her.” My sister placed her apron covered in hair on a hook next to the door.

We searched high and low, but Bessie was nowhere to be seen. We finally got to our house and saw a big cow print butt sticking out the door.

“Look! There she is!” I rushed inside to see what was going on. It was that guy again. 

“You stole my cow!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

“Kaitlyn! Shhhhhh!” My sister scolded me while heading into the other room. 

“Why’d you steal, Bessie?”

“I just wanted to talk to you, and I saw you hugging her a few days ago. So, I thought I could trick you into talking to me.” He said with a pitiful smile. “Did it work?” he questioned.

“I mean, I guess.”

“Let’s start over. My name is Rusty Tush.”

“You mean. You’re a Tush. Related to_?”

“Wyatt Tush.” He said, interrupting me. I had had enough. So I grabbed Bessie and pushed Dirty Butt out of the door. 

“Howdy Partner!” I yelled.

“What was that for?” He asked from outside.

“For being a dirty Tush!”