You gotta learn the ropes

I remember the first time I drove in, the city lights seemed to sparkle against the night sky. The excitement, the possibilities, I actually felt butterflies in my stomach like I did in middle school when Lenny Mason smiled at me. Lenny was the only reason I would ever consider sticking around Shelton. It didn't work out with Lenny, he was content staying put and would never leave this sad little town. The city pulled at me, it tugged at my soul. I could feel the energy and wanted to be part of it all. I had wasted the past 27 years living in boring suburbia never really feeling like I belonged, At 27 my options seemed limited, I hadn’t found a husband yet like most of my friends and did not see any possibilities and quite frankly wasn’t sure I even wanted a husband. Maybe I was meant to be a career woman or a lesbian, or both. If I stay here I will settle, I had already dated most of the eligible men in town along with a few ineligible. I was starting to get a reputation as a bit of a loose woman which I suppose I was. I finally had the opportunity to explore my options and figure things out. Lenny was married and had the perfect little family, there was nothing for me back there. My headhunter scheduled four interviews and I was feeling confident. I loved having a headhunter arranging things for me, it made me feel important. I only needed one offer then bye-bye suburbia. Navigating the subway system proved a bit challenging but it was all new and exciting and I didn’t mind the crowds or the body odor. I could have done without the groping but it was all part of the experience. I felt polished and sophisticated in my new navy blue power suit and pumps. I was dressed for success and looking the part of a young professional, Who could resist this confident sassy boss lady? The 25th floor in the financial district, yup this is where I belong rather than in that sad suburban industrial park. Watch out Boston, I have arrived. I aced my interview and before I knew it I was contacting united van lines, the bank was paying my moving expenses and I would start in a few weeks. I found a studio apartment that I could just barely afford and my new life began. A city is a great place for the young, the noise and traffic do not phase them, they thrive on it. The energy of the city complements the energy of young people, they don’t notice the sadness, the homeless, or the dirt. How could you possibly feel lonely with so many people around? My first day on the job, I was anxious to make new friends, I smiled at everyone I passed in the hallway but most people I met looked uncomfortable and would turn their heads away. I discovered Boston was not a friendly city and making friends here might be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. It doesn’t take long to get used to the sounds of sirens and the honking of horns, after a while you don’t even notice them. it did take some time to get used to the aloofness but this is the way city people are, don't think they had anything against me. When friends and family visited they would always comment on the noise, “How do you sleep at night with those sirens”, Brenda asked. 

“Sirens? Didn't even hear them.” To me, they were all part of the background noise of the city, like birds chirping or spring peepers back home.

My colleagues were nice enough but there was an air of competitiveness that I hadn’t experienced in my job back home. “Don’t bother asking for help, Jen said, ‘these people will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat.’ You have to learn the ropes around here."

Flash forward 5 years and I did learn the ropes, threw several coworkers under the bus, and managed to get myself a coveted corner office. By most standards I was a success, a 2 bedroom flat in the back bay, a 2-year-old BMW, I was the career woman I had hoped I’d be. I had made some friends, or maybe more like acquaintances. We went out for drinks after work and occasionally got together on the weekend. Nothing like Brenda back home, she was married with three kids now and whenever I went back home she was trying to fix me up with some loser, usually just coming off a messy divorce and extremely needy. But she really cared about me and just wanted to see me happy like her. Brenda knew the real me, not the hotshot Bank executive I played back in the city. I told Brenda everything, well almost everything, not some of the underhanded moves I made to get ahead at work like taking credit for Miltons hard work or firing Marly after she missed a few days work because of a family illness. Marly was a threat, she was smart and competent and also good looking and she knew how to turn on the charm when she was around the mostly male executives. She was a force to be reckoned with and I reckoned with her. Milton was hard working and kind of a wimpy, I knew he wouldn’t challenge me. I had learned the ropes. I was not proud of some of the things I did and didn’t want Brenda to know about my underhanded antics, she wouldn’t understand. Brenda was a small-town girl through and through. After spending time with her I found myself thinking more and more about the friendly faces I missed back home. Maybe it was time to leave the city behind, maybe the city life wasn’t what I wanted at all. I had these moments of regret after each visit home. Back home you could get a seat in a restaurant without a reservation, there was only one traffic light in town and it was so quiet. What was I thinking moving to the dirty city, the traffic, the noise, the rude people? What was I thinking, the excitement, the action, the takeout? I smiled to myself, guess I am a city girl now, I am loud, rude, and a little dirty. As I drove back the city lights seemed to sparkle against the night sky and I could feel the magic once again. Tomorrow was filled with endless possibilities and I need to deal with that new girl, she's much too enthusiastic and charming, she needs to be reckoned with before she learns the ropes.