Still

For Jesse, remembering the day doesn’t seem possible. Every day seems to be the same. The same extreme protocols. The same restrictions. The same working from home every day. Life is a trivial round. Nothing new seems to take place even as little as it can be. Making matters even worse, every recreational centres have been shut down. No place for him to go and relieve the stress of staying hours in an enclosure. No place for him to go and clear his mind from every unsettled thoughts. No place for him to go and unwind.

It’s morning. His alarm rings. He growls and shuts it off. He needs more time to sleep. He had stayed up until early hours of the morning sourcing for materials. Few minutes later his phone rings. He didn’t want to pick but wait for a while so that after the call ends, he would put his phone on silence or switch it off. In the middle of the phone ringing, something kept nudging at his heart to pick the call. He manages to stretch and check who was calling. It is his best friend, Andrew. With heavy eyes, he picks the call.

“Hello! Hi!”

“Hey. Hi Andy,” he answers.

“Are you still in bed?”

“Yeah! I am. Slept late. Need more sleep.”

“Oh! Ok. But have you forgotten about our appointment?”

“Yeah.” He pauses for a while as if time stopped. He asks, “What appointment? And what time was it meant to be? I don’t understand.”

Andrew answered with a tone that showed his displeasure. “Have you forgotten so soon? We were meant to meet online this morning.”

“Why?”

“You shouldn’t be asking me that. It’s concerning your research.”

As soon as he heard the word 'research' , he sat up as if a lightning had struck him.

“You, you said research?”

“Yeah! Why have you forgotten so, so soon? What’s the matter?”

“How can I remember? Am wearing the same PJ every day I wake up. Am waking up on the same side of my bed. Am eating the same meal. Am hearing the same news. Every day, am doing the same thing. Nothing is any different.”

“That seems to be déjà vu.”

“It can’t be. Déjà vu every day. It possibly can’t.”

“True but we are not trapped in a day by time as you seem to insinuate. Can we go into the main thing? All time is not lost. We can still salvage some time.”

“Ok! Let’s get down to business,” Jesse responds excitedly

He is the last of four children. His mum has a preferential love for him. It was a tug of war for him breaking free from her overprotection. He wanted to leave home when he was 18 but she begged him to stay some time more. She said she was afraid that he wasn’t matured enough to take some decisions that staying alone might entail and that he needed to learn more. He agreed to stay two years more after which he left. It’s been seven years since he left home. He was busy on his laptop when his phone rang. It was his mum calling. He dislikes picking calls whenever he is busy but this he has to pick. He hates delaying to pick her calls. Moreover, it’s been a while she last called.

“Hello! Mum. How are you doing? Good afternoon.”

“Hey! Hi! My love. Am fine. How are you doing too?”

“Mum, am doing great.”

“Wow! Good to hear that. But was expecting your call. What happened? Why didn’t you call anymore?”

“But mum, I promised to call you on Thursday.”

“Yeah! But this is Friday. Today is Friday.”

“Wait mum. Please be serious. Mum, is today actually Friday?”

“Yes truly. What day do you think it is?”

“Wow! I thought today is Monday.”

“How possible can it be? Time is not standing still.”

“But mum, everything looks same. Nothing seems to be different. I hope am Ok? I hope nothing is wrong with me?”

“No! Nothing seriously is wrong with you. It’s a psychological issue. It mostly occurs to some people when they are restricted from their normal daily lives. It also occurs when they don’t have the opportunity to fully unwind. I do understand your plight.”

“Wow! Thank you mum! I thought I was going crazy.”

“No, you aren’t. You'll get over it. But you can still discuss with a psychologist. Probably they may have more to say.”

“Thank you mum. You're the best. Love you.”

She laughs. “Oh! Son. Love you too.”

“Bye mum.”

“Bye my love.”

Tracy thought he was going crazy. She had decided to give him some space. She said she wasn’t breaking up with him but she wanted to give him some space to figure things out and clear his mind. They argued a lot about appointments. He had disappointed her several times. She finds his excuses out of the normal. She can’t comprehend the excuse of every day been the same. She once asked him if he was in a motionless world. He loves her so much and so does she but they had go apart before they are rent apart.

“So when do we come back together? When do we bridge the gap?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Probably until everything is right in place. Until the fog around us clears.”

“But you know I love you. I indeed love you so much.”

“Yeah I do know. So do I. But when love hurts things won’t work. So we need this time alone.”

“Are we breaking up? Please don’t break up with me.”

She stares at him for a while and smiles. “Definitely not. We’ll still keep in touch. Isn’t it?”

He nods. “Yeah! Truly! Thank you so much. I promise everything will be alright very soon.”

She bends her head and looks at him. She walks up to him and gives him a kiss. She then turns and leave. He stands still and watches as she leaves. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Everything looked like a movie taking place in flash scenes. Can their love suddenly turn sour? Can circumstances tear love apart just like that? These he wondered.