Radiant and Beautiful; Naked and Divine

She found me in the darkness, where I was covered in blood and frothing at the maw. She saw me in all of my wrongness, my visceral apathy.

“Monster,” is what she called me.

***

I was a beast, a creature with no purpose. I spent my nights screaming my wrath into lightless skies, my throat bleeding my sorrows. For many long centuries—perhaps as long as time itself—I have roamed the earth in search of something to fill the void inside me. I’ve hunted and killed, feasted on flesh, and became lost in its embrace. I’ve devoured and followed my darkest desires—my sins.

She came to me, bathed in light. Her hair was as vibrant and golden as the sun, her legs slender and long, and her voice beautifully melodic. She smelled of wildflowers and honey—sweet and alluring. And yet, I was everything but. The clearing was quiet and so were her breaths. She took graceful steps and stopped to smell every flower. She smiled as the birds sang their songs, and she laughed as the squirrels chased each other. When she saw me though, I felt so powerless. She bore the look of repulsion when her eyes fell upon me. Her face contorted into a look of utter horror. Even with disgust coloring her face, she was as beautiful as the reflection of moonlight on still water. From the moment I beheld her, it felt as though everything in the world was finally right.

I took a tentative step toward her, and she shrieked as she took off running—never once looking back.

I searched. I prowled the earth in pursuit of her. I began to question my own sense of self. Was the woman I saw merely a facade I had created while lost in my reverie? Was it even worth continuing this search for someone who may not have ever existed? I tore myself to shreds and brushed shoulders with death more times than I can count, just to find her. No matter where I went, no matter how hard I worked, no matter how deeply I hurt myself, she could never be found.

On a night when the stars shone brighter than they ever had, and the moon was as full as it would ever be, I heard the soft murmur of a beautiful melody. I followed the sound until I froze in my tracks.

There she was, in all of her radiant beauty—naked and divine.

The water was still like glass. The trees and surrounding greenery seemed to almost sway to the sound of her rich and delicious melody. The reflection of the moon turned the surface of the lake into a beautiful mirror cast of the finest silver. I swear I could almost see my reflection—wretched, vile, and weeping. At the sound of my scuffling feet, she threw a sharp glance in my direction.

“Beast,” she said, her lips almost recoiling from the word.

I flinched at her harshness, even as her voice remained achingly beautiful.

***

There I sat, singing my beautiful melody. I let the final memories of that wretched thing slip from my mind as I lazily drifted in and out of consciousness.

He had been so horrible, so ugly, so vile.

I never wanted to see that thing again.

He came to me in the night, where I was radiant and beautiful—naked and divine. He saw me in all of my perfection.

A selfish creature, I thought. He must be selfish, with the way he devours… the way he consumes, the way he lusts.

A monster like that can only find comfort in the havoc that he wreaks.

I flinched at the sound of his footsteps as he approached.

“Get away,” I shrieked.

It was then that I noticed a flicker of something behind his inhuman eyes. Was it emotion, perhaps?

As he approached, I screamed my wrath until my throat bled. My sorrowful screams became bestial, visceral, guttural.

Unbridled beauty turned to repugnance. I became lustful and hateful, greedy and hungry.

But I sensed a longing I had not felt since the dawning of my existence—an unquenchable void nestled deep within myself. This feeling overwhelmed my entire consciousness, my very sense of self. I sensed a change taking place so deep within my heart that it was barely noticeable.

***

As I ventured forth in hopes of redemption, I stopped.

She began to… change. What was once a golden divinity became dull and hideous.

I quickly became disenchanted by her. She was no longer the untouchable goddess I once saw.

She was nothing but a monster. She was selfish and greedy. She feasted upon flesh and became lost in its embrace.

The screams she birthed became interchangeable and intertwined with my own howls of agony.

When the final moan escaped her wretched lips, I looked at her with pity.

What a repulsive creature, I thought to myself.

I turned, and I walked away—feeling radiant and beautiful; naked and divine.

***

“Goddess,” is what I called her. From the moment her eyes bore holes into my head, I was completely and utterly smitten.

Her gaze brought life to whatever it touched—cold as it may be.

We spend so much of our lives chasing things that are just out of reach. In our hunger for validation and acceptance, we often hurt ourselves more than anyone else ever could. But true fulfillment does not come from others — it comes from within.

We lose ourselves in the pursuit of the physical—the flesh. We forget who we are beneath the surface.

The beast and the woman are not two souls, but one. A single being at war with itself. The beast is primal, violent, and overflowing with raw emotion. The woman is cold, indifferent, consumed by control.

They are two halves of the same whole.

This story is a reminder that if we do not learn to accept all parts of ourselves — the radiant and the grotesque — we risk becoming the very monsters we fear.