An Affair

Benny and Joann stood together at the full length window, coffee in hand. They watched silently as the sun rose over the lake just a block away from their penthouse apartment. It was a beautiful sunrise. The wispiness of the clouds made them look like cotton candy. The approaching daylight bled through, coloring them and adding to the effect. The water shimmered like diamonds as the light pushed through to start the day. After a few minutes, Benny spoke.

         “Are you going to tell him today? You know, that you want to put an end to it – to the affair?”

         He felt awkward voicing it in the morning light. At night, it didn’t seem as real. But he had to face reality. The affair was real. Jimmy was real. Joann cheating on him was real. Hell, even her losing the baby seven months ago was real.

         “Yes, Benny, I will tell him today. I will end it. I promise. And, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

         It had been a rough year for both of them. The ups and downs (mostly downs) had taken a profound effect on their lives. The death of Joann’s mother, the pregnancy, the miscarriage, Benny losing his job due to all the CO-VID crap. All of these things had led to the affair that he had found out about last night. Oh, he had suspected it for a while, but last night, when he had confronted Joann and she had confessed…he was just beside himself.

         They had agreed that they would start fresh in the morning. He would put it aside, chalk it up to a crappy year. She would end it – immediately. 

         Joann cleared her throat, bringing Benny out of his thoughts. She excused herself and went to get ready for work. Benny got dressed and headed out to interviews for jobs that he knew he either wasn’t qualified for or, worse yet, was over qualified for.

         Joann headed to work with a heavy heart. She knew that she had to end it with Jimmy, but damn. The thing was she really liked him, and if she were being honest with herself, he was fabulous in bed. Not that Benny was a slouch or anything, but it was different with Jimmy. 

         Benny went on ten interviews throughout the day. The problem was that he was up against so many other applicants. Joann had told him at one point that his demeanor was probably contributing to him not getting hired. He agreed with her that this was possibly a contributing factor, but what was he supposed to do?

         And now he had this damn confirmed affair of hers on his mind, along with everything else. True, he had asked for the truth, but still. Oh, shit! The interviewer had asked him a question and he had missed it, lost in his own thoughts.

         “I’m terribly sorry, Sir. I missed that question.”

         “That question, Mr. Milligan, was ‘are you alright.’. I asked that question due to the fact that you didn’t respond to my previous one.”

         “Again, Sir, terribly sorry. I guess I wandered off there for a moment. Could you repeat the previous question?”

         “Mr. Milligan, I could, but I am not going to. I am a busy man, and I don’t have time to interview people whose minds wander while I am talking to them. Thank you for coming in, and have a nice day, Sir.”

         Benny didn’t know what to do. This was the tenth interview of the day, and so far he had once again had no luck. To top it off, this interview being terminated was definitely his fault. He was letting his thoughts get the better of him. Dammit, and this job had seemed promising.

         “Please, Sir, please,” Benny begged. “I got some terrible news last night and my mind briefly wandered. It won’t happen again. I need this job. Can’t you please give me a second chance?”

         “Mr. Milligan, I don’t give second chances. Good day, Sir.”

         Benny just stood there for a moment. He knew he should leave, but he couldn’t seem to operate his legs at the moment. Great, he thought, first my mind and now my legs. 

         The interviewer glanced up from his paperwork and looked at Benny. 

         “Why are you still here?”

         Benny slowly rose. He bent down to grab his bag and noticed the razor sharp letter opener sitting on the desk. Something about the light gleaming off of it was captivating. 

         The next thing Benny knew, the letter opener was back on the desk, but now it was coated in a red and burgundy color. He looked at his watch and realized that he had been staring at the letter opener for fifteen minutes. He glanced over at the interviewer, who was now staring up at the ceiling with a huge gash torn across his throat. Benny grabbed the trash can and vomited.

         As Benny was leaving the office, he closed the door behind him. He told the secretary that Mr. Higgins didn’t want to be disturbed as he had many applicants to consider for the open position. The secretary was not at all surprised. 

         “I’ve already been here thirty minutes longer than I’m supposed to be. He has no consideration for anyone.”

         She began preparing to leave, setting the phone to where it wouldn’t rung into Mr. Higgins office, turning off her computer, gathering her things. Benny said good – bye and headed out of the office towards home.

         Joann had gone into her job and straight to Jimmy. Several other employees greeted her on her way, and she responded as she walked by. As she approached Jimmy, tears filled her eyes. She realized that she actually cared for him and didn’t want to put an end to their relationship. Seeing him standing there, looking at her, she realized that she might, in reality, love him. Of course, she still loved Benny, but it was possible to love them both, to care for them both.

         She decided then that she wasn’t ending it. She couldn’t end it. She told Jimmy everything that had happened the night before and that morning. Jimmy just looked at her, staying quiet for a moment. When he responded, it wasn’t what she had expected.

         “Jo, maybe we should end it. I mean, you are married to someone else. Maybe you should just work on your marriage.”

         “But I don’t want to end it. I want to be with you – to spend time with you. I want us to be together.”

         “Then leave Benny. Tell him tonight what you just told me, and tell him it’s over. Pack a bag, come to my place. Tell him you will get the rest of your things in a couple of days.”

         “Jim, I can’t do that. Not after everything we’ve been through together. It would devastate him.”

         “It’s him or me. Decide by tonight. If you show up at my place, great. If you don’t, then I’ll know you chose him.”

         “This isn’t fair, Jimmy.”

         “You’re right, Joann. It isn’t fair to Benny and it isn’t fair to me.”

         That afternoon, Joann went home with a very heavy heart. She still had not decided what she was going to do. She would wait until she saw Benny, looked into his eyes, then she would know. Her heart would tell her which one was the right one.

         Joann walked into a dark, silent apartment. This was odd, she thought. Usually Benny was home, making some sort of dinner, weeping into his beer about all the failed job interviews. She realized at that moment that, while she still cared about Benny, she was also at a point where she felt disdain for him. Her decision was made. 

         She went into the bedroom and began packing. With any luck, he wouldn’t get home until she was gone. She would leave him a note. It would be easier on both of them that way. She finished packing, grabbed a notepad and pen, and sat down at the kitchen table. 

         Benny stepped out from behind the curtain in the darkened living room. He very quietly crept up behind Joann and slid the butcher knife slowly through her neck from the back to the front.

         Later, Benny stood in the same spot he had stood that morning with his wife. He admired the beauty of the moon reflecting off of the lake. He liked the way the moon shimmered on the water. He slowly smiled.