Love Letters

Having a crush or admiration towards someone is a normal thing we all get to experience since we are young. Some of us would have the courage to admit our feelings towards the person we admire while some of us don't.

There would be times where we write in our diaries about that person and I used to do that when I was still young. Before I sleep, I would always go in front of the drawer, grab the diary that I always kept hidden so that nobody can read aside from me the contents I've written (since I'm too shy and would be too embarrassed to show them what I've written since it could be considered as "too cheesy") and then after grabbing the diary of mine, I would start writing with a pen in my right hand about how good he did during that day, what happened to him and anything about him. Of course, I myself won't be missing in the contents of what I've written in my diary since I'm my diary's main character.

It was a normal school day when I first met him. I was sitting under the shade of a tree, trying to review my lessons since our exams are going to be near. I was having a hard time understanding some parts of the lesson that's why I decided to stop reviewing for a while and gazed at every people who are walking and passing by where I am. My gaze had focused on him as I saw him laughing with his friends while walking towards the school building. Although he had long disappeared by my sight, I still kept my gaze locked at where he disappeared and only retracted my gaze after a while. That was the time where it all started.

I would always gaze at him from afar, watch him interact with others and there would be times where he would look in my direction and give a smile on which makes my heart go beating faster.

Oh right, there was a time where I overheard the girls in my class talking about something which piqued my interest.

"Sofia, did you gave him your love letter yesterday?"

"I did! It was very embarrassing at first but it went well afterward."

A love letter? Why hadn't I thought about that?

Every day, a love letter would be made by me on which I would put them in a box and then keep them hidden under my bed. When I was bored or sad, I would read them until I can't take the romantic excitement anymore.

It was only during Valentine's day that I have decided to give him one of the love letters that I wrote. Just like what the girl in our class had said, it was embarrassing but I decided to gather my courage to give it to him.

The result? He asked me out!

His response was out of my expectations. I was somehow expecting a rejection because unlike those girls who are attracted to him, I was covered by their shadows. It was unexpected for him to say, "how about we give it a try?"

And yes, we did give it a shot. At first, I was still shy but as soon as the time pass by together with him, the shyness I was feeling at first was gone. It was replaced by a comfortable feeling. We got used to having each other by our sides and everything developed into a new stage.

Even after years had passed, we were still together. Aside from our family and friends, it was nice to have someone by our side: a lover. The happiness, love, and care you can gain from this kind of relationship are abundant. You can have someone by your side that is willing to listen to you, willing to help you, and would stay by your side. I really want things to be like this forever and if not forever, until we grow old.

But sadly, the reality is cruel.

There was this day where we had a huge argument, an argument that is hard to fix.

I saw him going out with another woman.

They were so intimate? How can I just ignore it?

It continued on for countless days until the both of us grew tired of our arguments and admitted what he did. And after that day? The both of us decided to end what we have and go on our separate ways. After that, we no longer talked.

Countless months had passed since that day and it still remained in my memory. It still hurt a bit but splitting up should be the best choice for the both of us.

Tonight, a long time friend asked me out to go eat dinner together with some of our friends. It'd been a while since we last met that's why I decided to go out together with them and also, I don't have any appointment by that time.

I had a fun time together with them and when I was planning to walk myself home, I met someone whom I haven't seen for months.

He asked me, "can I walk you home?" on where I agreed.

We talked about how we are both doing, how our lives had gone by during the last few months and any topic that we can think of when suddenly, we reached the topic that is like a taboo for the both of us: our relationship.

We both stopped in our tracks and silence ensued between us. He was the one who broke the silence.

"Can you give me another chance?" he asked me.

I remained silent for a while before answering him.

"What for? To do what you did to me for the second time?"

"No. I promise I won't do that again. Just give me another chance, please?" he begged.

I turned around to face him and gave him a smile.

"I don't think I can give you another chance, I'm sorry. We can only be friends this time."

He got silent, drowned in his own thoughts.

"Sure. It's better than nothing, right?"

"Yes, it is. Thank you. I hope to see you around again."

And with that, I walked away in an unhurried manner and never looked back.

There are certain things that are better left in the past and never to be claimed again. A closure should be the best ending between us.

It all started with a love letter and the story had now come to its end.