Should go or should I stay

“Maybe I shouldn’t be here.”, he muttered as he checked his breath for the umpteenth time. By now Ray had been sitting in his car for close to forty minutes contemplating whether to leave the car or just speed away. “After all it’s just a stupid event where no one will even remember you” , he reasoned. His sweaty palms gripped the wheel tighter as he examined the keys in the ignition. One turn of that key and his problems would be over. He could retreat to his apartment, break out a cold one and binge watch Netflix with Bob and Moon, his trusty cats. But he’d told himself he had to be here and despite his misgivings he was determined to see things through. 

Ray reached for the inhaler in his coat’s inner pocket and took a deep breath of its contents. He needed to get a hold of himself or else he would lose his mind. Why was getting out of the car so bloody hard for him? Outside people kept filing past his car like ants. They’d been doing that since he got there and as he eyed each person he couldn’t help but envy their care free excitement. You could tell this by the way the ladies swayed their hips as they walked and how the men gingerly strutted past his car. Gleeful and giddy seemed to be the order of the night as chatter and laughter filled the evening air. It was July which meant summer was in full swing and the ladies’ short and sexy dresses were evidence of that. The men all wore tuxedos and Ray spotted a gentleman or two worthy of Hollywood’s red carpet. The stars had indeed come out to shine as expensive watches, lockets, necklaces and rings were proudly on display. Ray regretted not bringing along his camera to capture the stunning style and fashion sense of these thirty and forty-somethings year olds. 

Fewer and fewer people were arriving at the scene now and the booming music from the hall signified the beginning of the night’s festivities. As the minutes progressed the hall before him echoed with screams, shouts and other festive noises. When he strained to listen he could hear the MC giving what he assumed was the welcome speech. With the exception of a few words most of the speech was muffled. Seeing the hall had Ray remembering the building’s decades of history and numerous memories held within it’s walls. Some had received their first kiss in there, others got their first ‘dance’, whilst others and for the glory hounds that auditorium where they cemented their legendary statuses. However for Ray that hall symbolized a place he’d been running from for twenty long years.

He was leaning more and more towards leaving but something within him stubbornly refused saying, “You at least have to try.” 

Just then Chaka khan’s “Eye to eye” began playing and immediately he was transported back to 1984 prom night. Even though he was outside the hall his memory reminded him of the bowls of fruit punch, the ‘all you can eat’ buffet and the decorations which turned the drab ordinary hall into an enchanting wonderland. That year the organizers filled the hall with pink, red and white balloons with accompanying flowers but the toast of the decorations was the huge chandelier which would go down in the school’s history books forever. Ray’s lips flicked up in a little smile as he remembered Steve McDash and Judy Hartford being voted prom king and queen. He chuckled as relived walking in on Stephanie with three of the senior basketball team in the basement. He also remembered….

Ray stopped himself thus cutting his trip down memory lane short. He swore he would not allow himself to even make remembrance of what happened next that fateful night. Blissful nostalgia had transformed into seething rage and bitter shame. His grip on the wheel tightened and his teeth were clenched like a tiger about to strike. His breathing became a bit more labored as his chest heaved up and down. Just as he was about to reach for his inhaler again a knock on his window startled him back to reality.

“You Ok?”, asked the voice.

Ray looked up and was greeted by the most beautiful pair of green eyes he’d ever had the privilege of seeing. They seemed to smile along with her mouth. Besides her eyes he noticed her brunette hair which was tied into a pony tail and her smile was worth the moon and stars. Although she smiled one could also detect a hint of concern in her features. He lowered his window so he could hear her better.

“The fun’s happening in there.” ,she continued as she pointed towards the hall. Ray sat there aghast as he tried to think of something- anything- to say. Speechless has his specialty in situations like these. In his mind he could hear his brother’s admonishing voice saying, “You’d better learn to talk to the ladies bro or you’ll sink before you even swim.” 

“I’m waiting on someone.”, was all he managed to say as he faked a weak smile. 

“Well it’s a shame for you to drive all the way out here for you to just sit and wait on someone”, was her response. 

This was not the way he’d envisioned the conversation going. All he wanted her to do was leave him alone and he’d hoped his weak excuse was enough. Well he was terribly wrong.

“Well she's running a little late.”, he replied 

“Maybe she's already here and went ahead of you inside.”, she suggested.

“No I just spoke to her on the phone. They say they’re on the way.”, he insisted.

He was beginning to get visibly annoyed. He just wanted to brush her off and get back to his brooding. 

“Who is it? Maybe I know them.”

“Who the hell does she think she is the FBI?.”, wondered Ray as he gave this stranger a suspicious look. 

“I doubt that you do.”, he answered 

“Try me.”

“ Just leave me alone woman!”, were the words ready at the tip of his tongue but his mother’s home training got the better of him as he whispered a silent prayer and hoped he could invent a believable name that would get her off his case and out of his life.

“Patience Jenkins.”, he replied.

She tried to suppress her laughter as she immediately picked up on his lying game. It was funny how he’d chosen the name Patience as his make-believe date.

“Prove it!”, she said in a demanding tone.

“Look…uh lady I don’t have to prove squat. Her name is Patience and that’s all you need to know. Don’t you have someone with you!”, his voice betrayed his increasing irritation and she could tell. Rather than back off she was going to see this through. 

“ I know for a fact that you’re lying because Patience Jenkins was the school librarian back in the day.”

“Busted!”, thought Ray as he tried to hide his embarrassment.

“Okay okay okay. You got me. I ain’t waiting on no Patty Jenkins.”, he admitted.

“Then why are you cooped up in this car.”, she asked, “ You should be in there enjoying with everyone else.” 

“Yeah I should. It’s just that last time I was here things didn’t end so well.”, he confessed.

“I’m sorry about that but that was years ago. You can still have fun tonight.” 

“But it still feels like yesterday every time I think about it.”, he said as stared into the distance.

There was a long silence between as each one thought of what to do. Then before he realized what was happening she had opened his door and was extending her slender hand to him.

“I promise I won’t bite if that’s what you’re thinking Ray.”, she joked whilst noticing the apprehension in his face. 

Ray jerked back a little. Nobody ever knew his name. He was lucky enough to be called “Dweeb”, “Dork” or “Glasses” back in high school. After much deliberating and debate he had to relent and extend his hand to her. Normally it would be the other way around but he appreciated her initiative. He needed it now more than ever. All he had to do was figure out who she was and how she knew his name. As emerged from his Mercedes a cool breeze greeted him and he took in a deep breath as he turned to the woman beside him. 

“Told you I wouldn’t bite. Now let’s get going before the fun ends Ray.”, she said. 

“Hang on a minute. I don’t even remember who you are.” 

“You will when you give me that dance that you owe.”, she said whilst giggling.

Ray studied the woman as they walked towards the hall hand in hand. Something told him he could trust her and he could feel a soothing relief when she turned to him with that killer smile. When they reached the stairs at the hall’s entrance he looked up at the banner at the above them, took another deep breath and smile as he read

Felix High School Reunion

Class of ’84