Summer Fling

The backyard was the only thing in the house left out of the remodel. His parents had meant to do it, but then they had run out of money. So instead of a green gardening space with a quaint pool it was a black tarp with two outdoor lounge chairs. It’s where Max and Hattie had spent almost every single day of the summer so far.

Today they were eating sunflower seeds and drinking cold lemonade. Even without the pool, they both wore their swimsuits: trying to deepen the shades of their melanin. Max reflected on the summer had been and working up the courage to tell Hattie that he was going to miss her when he started school in the fall. She beat him to it with a conversation starter of her own.

“So, what’s thew deal with you and Plum? Tell me about it.” The smile in her voice was loud as day.

Max spit of the sunflower shells that he had been sucking on and looked at his sister. His discomfort didn’t match well to her excitement. 

           “What’s to tell?”

           “How about if you are going to break up or stay together?” Hattie laughed at him. Sitting up, she poured herself another glass of lemonade. Her shadow covered him.

           “I don’t know. We haven’t talked about it.” Max grabbed a new handful of seeds and popped the first one in his mouth. Greedily, his tongue lapped up the salt and his teeth worked on prying the shell apart.

           “Well, don’t you love her?”

           “No.” He said.

           “Then what are you doing still dating her, Max?” Hattie got up and wiped the dirt off her pants. “You’re crazy.” 

Once Hattie was back in the house Max tried to think about her question, but he couldn’t. He needed to decide if he should buy Evan a 30 oz. bag of lollipops or chocolate. A sort of “sorry for moving back into the dorms after flying through an international airport and not quarantining for fourteen days therefore putting you at risk of getting the disease” gift.

---

Plum texted him that evening.

           Can I see you? Max opened the messaged and started his response. He got as far as, Sure! I can send you a Zoom... before he got a second message.

           In person. Max sighed. This was the thing he hated most. The conflict between what his girlfriend wanted and what he felt safe to do.

           Tomorrow. He sent the message.

           “Who are you texting?” His mom asks.

           “Plum. We’re arranging a date for tomorrow.” Max’s parents were pretty delighted about his first relationship. As long as he kept it six feet apart. At least to their knowledge.

           “I know long distance can be really difficult honey, but I hope you’ll give it a chance. You seem so much happier with her.” His mom said. Max nodded and focused on swallowing his salad around the lump in his throat.

           “Thanks Mom.” Across the table, Hattie shakes her head.

---

What he feels is not guilt per se. If it was the mixtape would hit different. The drive to Plum’s apartment took an hour both ways, and she had made a mix of lo-fi beats to soothe his anxiety about driving on the freeway. That was just how she was. Helpful.

No, it was more just something that Max didn’t really want to do. And Max had a habit of ignoring the things he didn’t want to do. He knew that Plum would put up a fight. And for something that he didn’t feel strongly about one way or another he didn’t see any reason to fight. But Hattie said that you shouldn’t be in any relationships that you don’t feel strongly about.

If there was so much thing as an opportune moment it was now. So, he guessed he ought to break up with Plum.

---

“How’d it go?” Hattie asked, slipping into his room. Max lay on his back scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

           “We’re still together.”

           “Why?”

           “She wouldn’t let me break up with her. I explained all my reasons about why I thought long distance would be too difficult. She doesn’t care.”

           “This is not good.” When she left the room, she took an air of determination with her. Max cracked a window.

---

On his birthday Max made a promise to his grandfather that he would hike more. After triple checking that everything was packed up for the next evening’s flight, he borrowed Hattie’s keys and enticed Baby out of her bed by dangling the leash until she was racing between him and the front door. The closest place to go was the local marshlands. Max’s grandfather would describe level as slightly strenuous walk. But something was still better than not following through on his promise.

A short fifteen-minute drive later, Max was sitting on the visitor bench lacing a pair of old sneakers that he found in his trunk. Seeing a family with toddlers go racing down the trail made him feel embarrassed about the hiking boots. If Velcro Spiderman sneakers were enough for the trail, then his dusty converse were probably equally as good. Even if the rubber around the edges was starting to peel.

The cloud cover from the morning never really abated, making the marsh feel more secluded than on a normal summer day. The neighboring houses were shielded from view and the sound of the traffic receded behind the trees and the call of the frogs. Baby took the liberty of her extendable leash and bounded fair ahead on the trail, chasing the lizards that were darting back and forth across the path. Max felt cocooned in the chill and the tall grass.

He wanted to lie down and sleep. A sleep so thick that the only thing that could wake him would be the end of the world. In a hundred thousand years would he remember Hattie, his parents, or Plum? Would he remember what college he was supposed to attend? What T.V. shows he liked?

---

“Let’s go.” Max hurried behind his mother who was trying to find the scarf she wanted despite the eighty-degree highs predicted for the day.

“What’s the rush?” She teases him.

“You’re the one who always says we should be at the airport early.” 

The drive to the airport was quiet and calm. An afternoon flight meant that they were avoiding the commuter rush and traffic was light. Arriving three hours before his flight was a habit that Max picked up from his mother, but one he kept because he liked it. Something about the way that the airport was always a vacuum of migratory space appealed to him. It was comforting to be on the move.

At the terminal, as they were saying goodbye, Hattie had one more thing to say.  

“I’m going to talk to Plum.”

“About what? Why?” For some reason this made Max more uncomfortable than any of the other options.

“I’m not going to say anything bad. I just don’t think things should go this way.”

“What way are they going?” Hattie tried to step forward and wrap her brother in a hug, but he wasn’t having it. Max stepped away from her and into the check-in line. “Things aren’t going any way. They’re staying the same.” He said.

Max refused to watch as his family got back into their car and drove away. And even though he wouldn’t be on the plane for another two hours, he turned off his phone. He figured he had earned the silence.