Remembering when

 Gloria woke that morning unaware of what the date was. In fact she didn’t look at a calendar until she was dressed and  downstairs sitting at her desk. Only then did she look at her daily planner to see that  it had officially been four years and three months since Andy passed away. But today marks the end of her mourning and the beginning of a new day, new life and new season. Without really forgetting who he was and what he taught her, it was time she began to learn who she really was, or could be without him.

As she turned on the coffee pot she glanced out the window at the lake beyond. The one they enjoyed nightly from the back porch.  There was something about the calming effects of water that appealed to Gloria and no matter what was bothering her, she would grab a notebook, and pen and go sit by the water and write.  And every time an answer or solution would present itself. Now after coffee she would do that once again to get an idea of what her next step would be and in which direction she should go. 

As she looked out at the water, she let the calming effects wash over her. Then right before her eyes a fog crossed in front of the water causing it to disappear for a moment. The more she watched, the more it looked like the fog began to take shape. 

“Write something,” came the words from the fog. She just stood there, did she just hear the fog say something? She must be losing it. Shaking the fog from her brain she tried to get a closer look into the fog. 

“What?” 

“You've grieved long enough, you need to start writing again.”  The voice said again. As she sat there she began to think of who really knew she was a writer. Her girlfriend and Andy, her soul mate. The man who had changed her life forever.  

“But what do I write? Everything I’ve even glanced at over the four years, is so blah and I don’t have the motivation to write them.”

“Then write about us. About how we met how you felt after I died. You always said if you are struggling with those feelings others are as well.”   

“That’s true. I can write about us,” She said as the faintest sound of a whistle began. 

“Good, now go have your coffee and begin your day.” And with those words the fog slowly moved past as the water became visible once again.

After she got her coffee Gloria headed to the computer in the corner and just stood there a moment.  

“Today’s the day.” She said looking at the screen as she pressed the power button. As the welcome screen came on she froze. It was a picture of her and Andy.  After his passing she forgot to change the picture and now here she was looking into his eyes. 

‘…...write about us….’ came his words again. What better way to start than how she was feeling about this moment. After all she had to start somewhere. And that’s what she did. Now pulling the chair out she sat her cup on the table and took a seat. 

As she sat there now remembering the past thirteen years, a smile faintly crossed her lips. It seemed so long ago when she walked into the bus station and saw him leaning against a post, he was so sexy.  Even though she remembered the first day, the saddest of the memories of course was the illness that took Andy away.  An illness he could not predict or control. She became somber as she  thought about the last moments of his life. And the last words he said to her before eternal slumber took him.  Those words were “I love you”. 

“Well thinking about how he died isn't going to get anything accomplished.” Gloria told herself as she opened a fresh document and wrote chapter one at the top of the page. 

  Technically She and Andy met a year before she graduated from college. It was her father's wish that she marry a good and successful man and he made it his mission to see that a good man was found. It seems like a medieval kind of thing to do, but he only wanted what was best for her and for that she thanked him. 

Because Andy lived so far away at the time, they got to know each other through many emails and video chats.  

When Andy learned what she was taking he told her it was his wish that she finish school before he sent for her.  And that’s what she did.   She was becoming a victims advocate and was going to pursue a career in it. 

Over that year not only did a deep friendship emerge, they fell in love with each other even before they physically met. 

Finally, when she graduated she couldn’t wait to email Andy and tell him.  When he replied  all he said was “I am so proud of you, let me know when and where to wire the money and I will.” A week later she was traveling with two companions to meet the man who she would soon wed. 

Their lives were comfortably beginning to wrap around each other and they were happy. She had spent her life advocating for justice for those who could not. And he continued managing the security around the many companies his family owned. 

Even though they were in agreement with most things,  she had grown up sheltered and the things Andy had  taught her were new and far above her comfort zone. But because he had never let anything happen to her, she  tried them.  Some of those things were bungee jumping, skydiving, and rock climbing. He even encouraged her to meet new couples and learn the ways of the world and different  cultures.  

While her life was not always filled with such activity, they did fill her memory and she would miss them, as well as Andy.  Unfortunately, all that is gone now and she was left alone with still a heavy heart. She would always love him.

Pausing for a moment, she remembered the day she and Andy took a trip to meet her father.  Andy wanted to formally ask for her hand in marriage.  Smiling, she remembered the conversation and began writing again. 

 “Andy I want you to meet my father.”  She said as they stood in her father's study. 

“How do you do Sir.”

“Quite well thank you. I understand you are smitten with my daughter?” My father said, shaking Andy’s hand. “Just what are your intentions toward her?” He continued saying, eyeing the young man standing before him.

“I assure you Sir, my intentions are nothing but honorable.” Andy paused a moment taking a deep breath. “In fact, Sir, I would like your daughter's hand in marriage.”

“Her hand in marriage you say? And will you treat her well?”

“Father! What kind of question is that?”

“An honest one.” Andy said looking from the man to her and back again. “He only wants what is best for you. And I can’t say as I blame him. You are quite a young woman and not worthy of just any man.”

“Well thank you, I appreciate your kind words.” 

“I will treat her very well. She will never want for anything.”  

As they stood there speaking, Andy’s answer almost brought her to tears. “Your majesty there is something far more desirable about your daughter  that I love. It is her beauty, and spirit that captures my heart. Her passion, her compassion for others, her desire to see others happy and safe that I love.” 

Minutes passed as both  Gloria and Andy waited for his answer. “You have my blessing young man.”  Then quite unexpectedly he let out a booming laugh. Now let’s plan a wedding!” And with that they were sitting down and planning the wedding. 

As she wrote her journey through the relationship she and Andy had, the distance that now separated them vanished and it felt like Andy was still here with her. And would always be with her. The longer she sat there the more she wanted to write one last love letter.  

     My dearest Andy, there are no words to tell you just how much I miss you and love you. Life with you has always been a wonderful adventure. And I would do it all over again if given the chance.  You brought me laughter, tears and moments I will always cherish.  Thank you for being my life, my love, my forever.

Love Glo.”

And with those final words Gloria closed the document and shut down the computer.  

The end